His Talmidat

The 10 Plagues

2011-04-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

I am preparing for talking about the plagues that lead up to passover. These are simply my notes.

Water into blood; 7:14-25 (Magicians reproduced this plague)
Frogs; 8:1-15 (Magicians reproduced this plague)
Gnats or lice; 8:16-19 (Magicians could not reproduce this plague and admitted it was by the hand of God)
Flies; 8:20-32 (God made a distinction between His people and Egypt, no flies in Goshen. Pharaoh almost gives in.)
Livestock die; 9:1-7 (God made a distinction between His people and Egypt, no Israelite livestock dies.)
Boils/sores; 8:8-12 (Magicians couldn't even stand)
Hail; 9:13-35 (God tells Pharaoh how to protect His people from this plague. Some servants fear God, some don't. No hail in Goshen. Pharaoh admits he has sinned.)
Locusts; 10:1-20
Darkness; 10:21-29
Death of the firstborn; 12:29

I found a site years ago that showed a mom who had an activity for each plague. I did most of them last year and at least I thought it was fun! Go here to see what she did for Passover. Here is what I used:

Blood - red food coloring in anything with water (toilet, water bottle), wonder if red egg dye could be put in faucets so water coming out of it was red?
Frogs - plastic frogs placed all over, even in food
Gnats or lice - rice (messy, but fun anyway)
Flies - plastic flies everywhere
Livestock die - stuffed and plastic animals everywhere on floors
Boils/sores - the stickers you put on 3 hole punch holes to strengthen them (look like donuts) on dolls, parents and sleeping kids if you can
Hail - practice golf balls, throw lots of them around the room (cotton balls make good snowballs, a possible alternative)
Locusts - can't remember what I did! Maybe plastic grasshoppers?
Darkness - blindfolds, night activities
Death of the firstborn - not an appropriate plague to act out really

I try to do these over the 10 days before Passover. The original plagues actually took much longer, with days between some of them, but that doesn't seem important.

New life in the garden

2011-04-02T19:54:00.001-07:00

I really never post on here. I think about it so often, but still never get around to it. I can only hope I'm spending my time wisely, although I suspect otherwise!

I was about to post some research I am doing in preparation for studying the 10 plagues with the girls, when I realized I should probably post the most important event of 2011: Our 3rd daughter was born!

I've never been consistent about my decision to use their names or what names to use for them on this blog. So here we go, my little flowers they shall be. Daughter #1 will be my Rose, after her mama. She is so like me in many ways, the dear little dreamer. She is currently 4 1/2. Daughter #2 will be Daisy, a sweet pretty little thing. Actually, when I was pregnant with her, her Daddy said when he pictured her he saw a daisy. A tiny girl, she loves things to be in their place and to make people smile. She is currently 2 1/2. And daughter #3, oh I can't decide! I barely know her! Since she is just a bud, we shall call her Sunflower unless she blooms and shows us otherwise. She is our calmest baby yet, perhaps just because she is the third. She is eager to see the world around her and very patient with her mama and her adoring older sisters. She loves to sleep on her Daddy's shoulder, smile and "talk."

This tiny bud of a flower was born in February, our largest baby and my most intense birth to date. I was blessed to have her here at home, my first planned homebirth, and I couldn't have been more thankful to be here. She took her own sweet time to start breathing, giving us quite a scare. After the intensity of labor and the uncertainty of her first few minutes, I felt very very little. The world seemed huge and looming, I felt tiny, and I felt surrounded by God's love in a way I have never felt before. I was almost laid flat by the intense knowledge that my Abba loves me and cares for me in ways I could never imagine or anticipate. I looked at all 3 of my birth experiences and sensed His hand in my life in a way that shook me to my core. A friend, upon hearing my story in detail, said, "Honey, that's the fear of God!" What a gift this birth was, and as always, this baby is.

A few things I've learned since this wonderful little girl made us parents of 3:

With 3 kids, I am never alone, and suspect I never will be again. And that doesn't scare me!
With 3 kids, you suddenly have to take the garbage out 259 times a day.
With 3 kids, I spend every second of every day realizing how much our obedience to our Father in Heaven must bless Him. I spend every second of every day leaning on Him.

So welcome to our garden. Enjoy hearing about the Rose, Daisy and Sunflower, if their Mama has time away from tending them to write.

Homemade Granola Bars

2010-10-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

I just made this recipe for chewy, healthyish granola bars today for the first time. I had a recipe I was going to try that made crunchy bars, but thought my picky little one might try chewy before crunchy. This looked really simple and, yipee, it was! Of course when you make it with a 4 year old it takes FOREVER, but hopefully she missed some of the frustration in my voice. Or at least can forgive me for it, poor baby.

Our 1 cup of extras included coconut, peanuts, flax seed, chocolate chips, cherries and sunflower seeds. They were super sweet, maybe because of the chocolate chips, although there weren't very many. Well worth trying again. I can only imagine they are much cheaper then store bought. Meanwhile, I have a few snacks in the freezer.

School Days

2010-10-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

All my school plans changed at the end of summer when we borrowed Rod and Staff's preschool workbooks. I've kind of struggled with them, they aren't exactly the fun experience I envisioned and so much more rigid in their learning style.

But every time I whine to God (not suggested by the way :), He shows me all the good that is in them and the wisdom of my husband for choosing them. Very quickly, using the books showed me that my daughter does not like to obey or do a good job unless she has decided something is worth doing and fits in her definition of fun. Right away, God showed me how not meek and quiet I am when I do not immediately get the results I expect when I ask for them. Hmm, sound like a family trait?

I also found myself very thankful on many occasions that I can open the book and help her work on it, no planning required. I'm pregnant and I don't have the energy I'd always like to have. But I don't have any quilt for not getting around to school time because it is easy.

Now I'm trying to also include #2 daughter because she needs to learn and because my husband said I need to work with her. Got to be honest, right? Yesterday was the first day I tried and, whew, its hard. Today was even harder. My brain really likes to concentrate on one thing at a time, but little ones want to do things at the same time as their bigger siblings. Meek and quiet, meek and quiet, long suffering and not easily provoked... who is homeschooling for again?

I would like to post what we are doing throughout the week, but we shall see what actually happens, k?

Impromptu Tea Party

2010-10-08T13:09:00.000-07:00

On a really crazy day, I think the day before Yom Kippur or something, #1 Daughter wanted a tea party. I was really stressed, making food and getting ready for a sabbath, but didn't want to do my usual "no, not right now."

So I did my best to stall.

I gave her stuff to make invites, and baked cookies.

I had her clean the tea set, and took out the garbage.

She put a table cloth on the coffee table, and I put dishes away.

She set out the dishes and party favors, and I did laundry.

We both worked on cookies and tea throughout the whole process.

Finally, we were ready!

The whole set up. Don't you like our table cloth?!

Harvest cookies, apple slices and passion fruit tea... use what you have on hand, right?

Everything was a bit damp, but all was eaten. Even #2 drank tea!

Rosh Hashanah Food

2010-10-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

I have never really been on the ball for any of the festivals, but was really excited this year for Rosh Hashanah. At the very least, I had a meal plan way ahead of time for some fun food. Then I looked at the calendar. It was a night we were supposed to be at my in laws, AND I had agreed to watch my friend's 4 year old daughter during dinner time. Oh, and I had a mom and kids bible study for 2 hours in the morning and swimming lessons after nap time. So, in laws were invited to our house and we did it all anyway. Whew, what a day.

I did my best to prep as much as I could the day before. I have The Children's Jewish Holiday Kitchen cookbook, but had never used it. I found a recipe in it for the main dish, side and dessert: Orange Chicken, Carrot Tsimmes and Baked Apples. The best thing about this book is that it breaks each recipe into what the kids can do and what the adult needs to do.

To make the Carrot Zimmies for example, they had me boil the carrots and let them cool. Then, #1 was able to cut them up! How fun is that? And they were a great texture too, not as soggy as I expected. She also got to measure and put in orange juice, pineapple, sugar, water and prunes. This was like candy folks.

The Carrot Tsimmes
I got this table cloth while in New York and absolutely love it. I'm not much of a woven cornucopia or turkey decorated table kinda girl. And I found cloth napkins to match, 7 of them, at a garage sale for $2! That never happens to me!

My Favorite decided to get back into the swing of baking (yipee!) and made these amazing soft pretzels. They were the hit of the night, for sure. We also made baked apples, and both girls got to put in the butter, sugar, cinnamon and cover it with orange juice. The leftovers, mixed with oatmeal, made the best breakfast ever.

All in all, it was memorable and delicious, at least for me. Even if the chicken took WAY too long to get done!

My little tortillas

2010-09-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

We make corn tortillas quite often. It is easy to have the supplies on hand (masa mix, salt and water) and they are easy to mix. With the tortilla press I have from my time in Mexico, they are easy to press and cook. #1 daughter has been helping me for at least 2 years, and really, other then reading and measuring, she could do everything: mixing, making balls, using the press, getting them off. I will do the cooking for quite some time, but you get the point. Now we have added #2 daughter to the mix and it is an adventure!

#1 Daughter rolling the individual balls. All that playdough practice is so helpful!

#2 Daughter setting them in the press. She is very particular about doing this, and is quite good.

I could use some work on being more gentle and kind and encouraging in the kitchen, but despite my failings, I do love working with my girls.

Quote - CCEF

2010-09-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

I'm watching the Christian Counseling Education Foundation's (CCEF) YouTube channel. A quote I liked today, from David Powlison:

It is hard to love. Love is patient. Patience means other people are doing things you don't like. Love is kind, and kind means you are doing things constructive while they are doing things you don't like. And that is simply hard. If it were easy the bible would not have had to be written and Jesus would not have had to come, live and die...

Crafts... been too long

2010-09-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

I have been horrible about doing crafty things with my girls, really since #2 was born (2 years ago!). I don't know that I am "back" but we're getting a good dose this week while Daddy is away.

I had a stack of egg cartons and went to The Crafty Crow to find some inspiration. This post was the winner, with two crafts being made. One we did together, the other I am doing myself. So relaxing... well, the one I am doing myself at least. Definitely need to work on not getting stressed by mess, yikes!

Our apples:

These are so much cuter then I expected!

My sunflowers:

Obviously a work in progress

Thinking I wanted a fun bowl to put the apples in, I went looking on Kids Craft Weekly and found this. I chose 3 different greens going for a natural look... but got an army hat instead. So, #1 went and got some fall colored tissue paper, and I cut out three different leaf shapes for the top layer. It will probably take 10 years to dry, but every 30 sec she said, "We love to paint, don't we? Isn't this fun?!" Yeah, more to come, how can a mama resist that enthusiasm?

Maple, oak and ginko leaves... very, very wet!

Mercy

2010-08-03T06:58:00.000-07:00

I just read Raising Homemakers post titled "Mothers of Mercy." It was all about first time obidience and how we need to remember that often, we don't FEEL like doing what God wants, but we do it because He asked. And that we then need to extend the same mercy to our children and understand when they don't FEEL like doing it, and help them find the heart of matter. Read it, it was well done.

Anyway, I needed it. I don't extend much mercy, and really, wasn't sure how. Being harsh and demanding, a line I walk too often, way too often, isn't right. But saying "Oh, I understand, I feel the same sometimes. Go do what you want." doesn't work either. This was a nice, seemingly biblical middle ground I can work with.

Then I read Romans 6 this morning, and this section caught my eye:

"But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations." Romans 6:17-19

Lord, help me remeber my children are young, inexperienced humans and help me extend to them mercy. I am quick to extend it to myself throughout the day, more often then is right, may I learn to do for myself and them what is right in YOUR eyes.

Uses for branches... how fun!

2010-08-02T20:49:00.001-07:00

My Favorite is cutting down a tree that, unfortunatly, had to be cut. So with all the branches in our yard, I wanted to see what was out there for crafts with branches. Will I do any? I don't know, but they all are so fun!

This is the picture that started all the madness. I have wanted curtains in my front room for 4 years now. But nothing I find fits the style I haven't figured out yet :) I love this. Hopefully we can make some of the branches work! Just google "tree branch curtain rod," it is posted everywhere, although I first saw it on Threadbanger's Decor it yourself, from Apartment Therapy. (threadbanger is a sewing video show, inspirational for DIY clothes, but not modest anything)

I thought this would be great for fall decor, maybe even the Shabbat table. I can see it full of found objects, acorns, fall leaves, pine cones, rocks.

Google "Childhood magic, tree branch tea set" and then make sure to hit the cached button, as the site is gone now.

Do the same for "Childhood magic, tree branch blocks"

A series of pictures using fallen branches/trees (the last picture is little boys w/o clothes, but they blurred anything unmentionable)

These Martha Stewart ideas are a bit out of my league for the moment, but I love the tables and even the wall.

These wall hooks are great fun too.

Wooden buttons anyone?

Thanks for indulging my day dreaming!

Number 3

2010-06-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

We just found out we're expecting number 3! No official dates or anything, but I'm guessing around February. Yea!

Respect Your Husband

2010-05-31T22:10:00.001-07:00

This is more for me then you, but maybe it will spark some good thoughts or future studies. These are the notes from my last Moms' Bible Study (not lead by me) where we talked about respecting our husbands. I didn't want to lose the info, but don't really want a piece of paper sitting around either.

It started with reading Ephesians 5:22-33 (I'll skip the parts to husbands, but go read it if you need to!):

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit) in everything to their husbands...However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The leader used four books in her preparations for this study. These are not recommendations, just a list of what she read.

The Bible (I do recommend this one)
For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura
Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (many said this was not well written, including the leader. They did say the video series is much better)

She then used an achronym she found in someone's book/writings. CHAIRS. These will be very basic notes, throwing in what little I wrote down, and what I remember.

C - CONQUEST: Appreciate his desire for adventure and a project

Mom's talked about how their sons turn everything into a project "This is my blanket project" said a 2 year old boy.
The leader has 3 grown son's. She shared that her husband gave her this advice when they were raising them: "Never interfere in their fights with one another." Unless there is blood, he did add that. We are talking physical fights, not just verbal ones. Send them outside, but don't stop them, that is how they deal with each other. She said telling them to leave the house often stopped the fight, and minutes later, the boys were just fine. No grudges, just brothers.

H - HIERARCHY: Appreciate his desire to protect and provide

One book suggested signing letters "with all my respect" rather then "love." The leaders husband whole heartedly agreed.
Don't criticize him in public, instead find ways to build him up
Many women commented that they feel really fake saying things like "Our towels are so soft because I have a great husband who fixes the washer." The leader said do it anyway, they like it :)
NEVER ACT LIKE HE IS ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN. DON'T JOKE ABOUT IT, DON'T THINK IT, DON'T TREAT HIM LIKE ONE. How demeaning! It is something we women do, and probably one of the most degrading things we could do to the role as husband.

A - AUTHORITY: Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead

She asked us "Who is the boss?" and reminded us to remember the answer
When in need of his help, consider asking "Would you be willing to...?" rather then ordering, or expecting him to do your bidding.
No pouting or crying when you don't get "your way"
Defer to him. Let him make decisions and let him know you would like him to do so, that you will be behind his choice
Be gracious if he makes the wrong choice, because he will sometimes
Respect his dreams - don't bash them down out of your own fears, your own sense of practicality or any other reason. They are often only dreams or thoughts, not commands. And if they are something he really wants to do, we need to get on board, not undermine what God is doing in him.

I - INSIGHT: Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel

Don't make fun of what he says
Remember it was Eve who was deceived, we need to be aware of where we are potentially being deceived now.
Who is the spiritual leader? She said they have had many women come to them (pastor and wife) complaining that their husband isn't the spiritual leader of their family. Her husband would then ask, "Is he coming to church? Is he good with the kids? and so on... well, looks like he's doing a fine job" Women: "But he doesn't do family devotionals with us or pray with me every day!" Pastor: "Can you show me where it says he is to do those things in the bible?"
YOU ARE NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT. YOU ARE NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT!

R - RELATIONSHIP: Appreciate his desire for shoulder to shoulder relationship

Go sit and watch him in the garage, or wherever he is working
Be quiet, don't talk
Say encouraging things when appropriate

S - *****LITY: Appreciate his desire for _________ intimacy

The devil will do everything to get you together before marriage, and everything to keep you apart after it
He is tempted in ways you won't understand
Many women use this as a power over their husbands, or don't realize its importance to them. She asked us, "How would you feel if he didn't talk to you for 3 days? How about 3 weeks? How about 3 months? Think about that"

ALWAYS ASSUME THE BEST... and you will find it easier to show respect.

He is our number 1 important relationship ladies (after God of course), let's make sure we are doing everything to let him know we respect him. This world, this society, teaches women and shows women doing anything but respecting their husbands. I pray to be growing away from that every day.

Homeschool - Score!

2010-05-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

I got invited to go with another homeschooling mom to a local used curriculum sale. I was just going mostly for the ride, there wasn't anything I was necessarily looking for. I also get a little overwhelmed by mass garage sale type events, even garage sales make me a little nervous. I took $28 and some change with me. Here is what I came home with, yikes! So fun!

Books for the kiddos: $2.50

Manipulative/art/music: $5.00

Our oldest is just now noticing the clock. I got this one for 50 cents. I like the 5, 10, 15... markers, but didn't realize you can't just place the hands, you have to go around the clock just like a real one. The geoboards and oil pastels are totally from my childhood. And the music is because "bible" songs were NOT a part of my childhood!

Just for me: $1.00

I'm really fascinated by real people of the faith, I don't know any of their history. They are not adult reading :)

Parenting/wife/mother:$6.75

(sorry, couldn't get it to rotate) I've been waiting for Proverbs for Parenting for a long while on Paper Back Swap, so I was thrilled with this one. I already had Power of a Praying Wife, figured this would be a nice addition. I had never heard of the wife book from Doorposts, but I like their stuff. And after nap time today, the tag line "Help Despite the Hassles, for Mothers of young children" seemed um, necessary.

Curriculum: $15

The Animals science book was suggested by one of the gals I went with. The Pearables Character Building was suggested by Hadassah of Gypsy Soul, so I thought I'd try it out! And the Five in a Row are my favorite find. I wasn't planning on buying these, although I liked their preschool book. My oldest just doesn't seem interested in anything very strongly. But when I saw the first for $5, and my friend found the other for $20 and the owner dropped to $5, I was in. They are $35 each brand new.

Free: the price of being there when no one wants to load everything back up

Not pictured: A xyron laminator. Hope I can make it work and I like it! Price was perfect though.

Grand Total: $30.25

Peace in the midst

2010-05-12T22:18:00.000-07:00

This will be mostly random thoughts.

God has been bringing my husband and I to the thought of simplicity over and over these last few weeks/months. It looks different for the two of us, his thoughts often more work oriented, mine more home life oriented, but those two worlds collide often.

I suppose, really, the pull towards the peace of simplicity is something that has been there since we had our first daugther, almost 4 years ago. That isn't so long ago that I don't remember the chaos, the stress, and the sense of panic I always had while working, or going to school. Being a wife, mother and homemaker is not easy, harder then anything I ever imagined. Yet, it has a sense of peace that I can't quite put into words.

Domestic Felicity, an amazingly encouraging blog, caught a bit of what I feel in this post:

Ladies, we don't have to be overwhelmingly busy in order to be hardworking wives and mothers. On the contrary, I believe it would be counter-productive. Again, if we opted to stay home in order (among other things) not to be frazzled and to have peace of mind, which is so much more conductive to happy and smoothly flowing family life, and yet we frantically attempt to erase every trace of relaxation from our days, what have we accomplished?

A couple of generations ago, the modern pace of life which has now become the norm would have been seen for what it really is – crazy. Restless. Unhealthy for families, for little children. We should be proud, not ashamed, of keeping an island of peacefulness in the midst of the world's rush, rush, rushing to nowhere. It's important to set a gentle, quiet rhythm to our days, to take a look at what already is on our plate – and if you have at least one little child at home, I'm estimating that in most cases it's more than enough – before we accept additional responsibilities, try to achieve perfection, or in any way turn our days into a hazy blur of ticking things off a to-do list.

The fact is, a day at home with your little one(s) will most likely be full and busy whether or not you try to make it so. We don't have to try and cram more into our day in order to be continuously occupied. It usually happens on its own!

Once, my husband said he would rather have dinner late then a wife in a puddle of tears when he gets home. No doubt! But that freed me a little to look at what was happening every day, to relax a little, and to desire to schedule my days better so maybe he could have both dinner on time and a peaceful wife. God has done an amazing work, at least internally (hope it shows outside!) for me in this area.

I have learned that although I am fairly slow in getting things done, that if I feel overwhelmed, trying to do more and do it faster doesn't always work. When I feel a rather stressful day start to take a hold, I find myself pulling back. Mentally, I think "one thing at a time." Spiritually, I have to ask for God to help me order my thoughts, my day, my emotions.

Being a mom is relaxing. Not the relaxing I did before being a mom, sleeping in for hours, not cleaning the house when I didn't want to, reading a book in one day, for example. But slowing down to watch sisters play together, taking time to fold laundry, curling up with a book and a warm little girl, even pondering the millions of mistakes I made and asking God to help me start over the next day while I finish the dishes at night.

I'm on God's time. That can be difficult, for sure. But when I feel overwhelmed, I can turn to Him and He will show me how to simplify, to relax, to regroup and find that peace again. May I grow quickly in this area so I can express the growing understanding of His peace to my girls.

Whole Chicken

2010-05-10T14:26:00.001-07:00

I haven't cooked a whole chicken before, but today is the day. My Favorite found this recipe for me, and I have it all set up to go in the oven. I didn't have celery for the mire poix, but added garlic pieces and mushrooms (as some of the commentors tried). I don't have any white wine, which everyone says is a must, so we'll see if I ask My Favorite to pick some up on the way home or not. I also didn't have a big enough cast iron pan. We love cast iron, and I use it almost exclusively. But one of the commenters used a roasting pan so I'll have to go with that. I'm nervous! Isn't that silly?! I just so hate to mess up, and especially food.

That is a lot of "didn't have" so we shall see.

Here's a picture of it raw... ew. May it look much better when it is done!

RESULTS: There's no picture because we devoured it. So good! Seriously, really good. And the potatoes, carrots, onions, and mushrooms... unbelievable folks. This is a keeper for sure.

I did put garlic under the skin, and forgot that I brined it prior to finding the recipe, so that may have contributed. I have my first attempt at stock bubbling behind me, and all the extra chicken waiting to be shredded and tucked into the freezer.

Ultimate proof of its goodness: my youngest ate it. She actually let meat touch her lips and asked for more. She eats nothing, so that was a nice gift from God for us.

Skirt wearing adventures

2010-05-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

We went to our congregation this morning, ate and then hopped in the car. Most Shabbat afternoons we spend driving, since our congregation is about 30 minutes from home and last long enough to be into nap time. So we drive, and the girls sleep.

But today, they woke up at the beach. How fun! My Favorite decided I would like that, and of course I did! I was totally not ready for a beach trip, no sunscreen or snacks or beach clothes, or jackets. But I appreciated his spur of the momentness and got over myself. It was a beautiful day, we found a jacket for our youngest in the car, and then I realized how windy it was.

I am still working on being a skirt wearer. I am much more comfortable in them then pants. But wind? Hmm, you have to plan the right skirt for windy weather. I've learned that the hard way (praise God, no one was around me for that moment!) And what I was wearing to church today was far from wind proof!

God gave me a great idea though. I grabbed an extra hair rubber band I had seen in the diaper bag, took a corner of my skirt up in like a ponytail, and wrapped the band around it. tadah! Wind proofed skirt. Thanks Abba for not letting that rubber band get lost, we had a great, unembarrasing day!

Mi Mexico

2010-05-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

The spring before we got married, I went to Ensenada, Mexico for 2 1/2 months. I just realized, as I wrote that, that 6 years ago today I would have been there. I turned on some worship music I got while down there, and I'm just riding the waves God is sending my way. There is something that happens when I hear Spanish worship. I don't know if it takes me back to that time, a time where I had to rely on God in a way I'd never known before, or that I have to concentrate on the words so hard, or if there is just a different... spirit? to it?

I need to rely on Him like that again. I just have so much here! When you are trusting Him to keep you physically safe, to help you find words to communicate, to have enough food, to have enough gas to eat and wash in warm water, and you don't always know how any of that is going to happen, wow. I just don't have words.

But He put me here, in this abundant life, and I am so thankful for all we have. I don't want to complain about that, for sure! I know I have to be able to rely on that raw faith here too. I think I just rely on myself too much.

I would almost, in this moment, give anything to go back there, even for a very short time. It wouldn't be the same place, the same people, the same me. A part of me longs for it though, I think a part of me is still there.

I'm reading through my journal of that time, amazing how you can immediatly go back to a place and time through words.

May 4, 2004

I spent yesterday, the hottest day yet, throwing up. My body is sore. But it gave me a lot of time to think. We are so rich here! Even here.

As I was whining about being hot, Angela described Bilga's house*. Bilga was sleeping literally drenched in sweat. Her mom, Martina was sitting in a chair with the baby in as little clothing as possible. Angela said it was unbearably hot. Some of these houses don't even have windows!

*Bilga was a 3 year old absolutely beautiful girl who lived with her mother and baby sister, while her father lived "al otro lado" (the other side) in the US. I believe their house was actually one built by the ministry I was with, so it was a million times better then the makeshift ones others lived in. But miserable in the heat. Oh, whiney American guera (pronounced "wear-a", means white girl)!

May I learn to lean on my King, mi Rey, as I did then in such an uncertain environment, while dwelling in this amazingly abundant home and family.

A song by Danilo Montero. I tried to translate it, but there are some phrases I can't quite figure out. And it has been 4 years since I used my Spanish much, never have been fluent.

Él es el Rey infinito en Poder, Él es el rey de los cielos
sere para Él siervo fiel, pues mi vida compro con su amor
Él es el Rey lo confiesa mi ser, Él es el rey de los siglos
mi vida la rindo a sus pies, Él es Rey sobre mi corazon

Él es el Rey, Él es el Rey, Él es el Rey de mi vida
Él es el Rey, Él es el Rey reina con autoridad
su reino eterno es, su trono el cielo es
Él es el Rey ke viene a su pueblo a llevar

He is the king, infinite in power, He is the king of the heavens,

I was His faithful servant, my life bought by His love

He is the King my being confesses, He is the king of the centuries

My life I yeild at His feet, He is the King over my heart

He is the King, He is the King, He is the king of my life

He is the King, He is the King, He reins with authority

His rein is eternal, His throne is in the heavens

He is the King who comes...(couldn't translate this to make sense).

Yeah, find the spanish. The English just looses something vital.

Horses

2010-05-01T22:19:00.000-07:00

Our oldest daughter has been pretending to ride horses for a few weeks. Then today, we went and watched my niece in her first fair experience as a horse rider, so the horse interest has amped a bit. Even if it just lasts a short while, I wanted to learn something now that we've "noticed" horses. If she is like her mama, or many little girls out there, this will probably not be the only time she's a little horse crazy!

I googled for preschool horse lapbook, and this blog started my thinking. I still haven't figured out if lapbooks are a waste of time period, a waste of time for a 3 1/2 year old, or simply not something this girl is interested in. But for now, I'll keep trying every once in a while, since I have always liked cutting and pasting things together to look nice. So some, or all, of this may totally bomb. The books I have on hold she'll love, simply because they are books!

Some components I printed out:

Horse diagram

Horse breeds

Facial markings (probably too difficult, but handwriting practice anyway)

Horse gaits (probably too difficult, but hopefully I can find something on youtube to make it more real)

What do horses eat

Just for Fun

Make your own word search (I used the words: horse, hoof, tail, mane, ride, saddle, mare, foal, pony)

Dot to Dot 1

Dot to Dot 2

How to Draw a Simple Horse

We'll start all this as soon as enough books show up at the library.

Vision Forum deal

2010-04-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not getting anything from this, but I thought it was a good deal. I love Vision Forum's resources! I have, well, a lot. But I wouldn't mind having more! Even the books for the girls help me learn about family life, parenting, God. Anyway, wanted to share, since it is only offered for 5 days. Got any birthdays coming up? Homeschooling resources? Fathers day? There is stuff here for everyone!

Free $50 Gift Certificate with Purchase!

Homemade Bread

2010-04-25T12:46:00.001-07:00

I've tried making bread a few times. It usually tastes good, but doesn't always work texture wise. And I go through spurts of making it and not. I've even made challah a few times under my mother-in-law's watchful eye. Then I go home and... well, the results are different!

All to say, I think I want to try again. So today I'm testing the recipe I saw on Large Family Mothering that she calls "fast, easy and delicious!". It is supposed to be quick, with whole wheat and white flour. I'm sure it won't be quick the first time, nothing ever is, but if it works, I'll keep trying and get faster, right?

Here we go!

Hmm, so I decided to use my stand mixer since I have one, even though she didn't use one. Note to self: when using a recipe from a Large family site, you might want to remember your equipment isn't large family size. The 30 minute rise time allowed me to dig dough out of parts of the mixer that aren't supposed to connect with the food, oops! I had to put the dough in a different bowl for that rise, the original one was very much not big enough.

The dough was giving off heat. I suppose that is from all the yeast, but it was strange to feel. It rose almost immediately, I could have watched it move if I hadn't had flour and dough on every counter, container and part of me.

It rolled out easy, and looks kinda like hers does after it cooks, so we'll see! Waiting on the 2nd rise...

Here it is right after being rolled. Looks good!

Here is what the table around it looks like, just for kicks. Flour, parchment paper container (I never quite understand "lightly oiled"), kids cup from lunch, rolling pin, pink plastic crown hair clip, and plastic bags from making a parachute with Grandpa.

It is in the oven now. I didn't realize there was no time limit on the recipe, and then remembered that was one thing I most dislike about making bread. How long do you cook it? "till it is golden brown" great. That usually means looks great on top, doughy inside. I've used the temperature method too, and that works better, but I don't remember the temp fully cooked bread should be. Oh, we'll see!

Here it is after about 30 minutes. I took this picture so I could have proof of how nice it looked before I chopped one loaf in half to see if it was finished. I know, very unprofessional. But I figured to sacrifice one loaf was fine in attempts to still have time to put the other back in to cook. Turns out, looks great! Off to wake up the girls and try it.

It was perfect! That's never happened, ever. Delicious, fully cooked, and at least one of the girls likes it. Um, yeah, I think I could have halved it, and still split it in half and made two normal sized loafs, but we have some in the freezer so that's actually kinda nice. Worth a try ladies, especially if you don't have a lot of time. I started during nap time and it was done before they got up!

(yeah, they did stick together, but oh well!)

Homeschooling - current thoughts for next year

2010-04-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

I've been more diligent about doing "school time" with my girls this last year (okay, just daughter #1 with a tiny tagalong). More diligent, but not as great as I would like. So here is my organizing of my thoughts for the upcoming year:

Reading

Hooked on Phonics - Kindergarten

Other literacy games here and there

Daily reading together (their level and chapter books)

Math (number recognition and writing)

My Book of Numbers 1-30 (Kumon)

Unifix cubes

Math games

Calendar time

Writing

Pre-K Handwriting without Tears

My First Book of Uppercase Letters (Kumon)

Creating books together

Bible

Hidden Treasures: Digging into the Book of Proverbs with Your Family (Doorposts)
For Instruction In Righteousness: A Topical Reference Guide for Biblical Child-Training (Doorposts)

Biblical Festivals
Holidays (ex. St. Patricks, St Nicks origional story)
Bible stories

Language

Signing Time (I get them from library or MIL)

Spanish - reading books from the library, learning songs together

Random skills
Crafts

Painting

My First book of Tracing (Kumon)

Cutting book (Kumon)

Pasting book (Kumon)

Wow! That seems totally too much for a 4 year old doesn't it? Well, its not all of it every day, and it is a whole year.

Reading: The Hooked on Phonics was given to us by my lovely mom-in-law, so we are just taking that really slowly, trying not to push it. #1 is huge on reading and words, and she can sound out so much. I know when it clicks, she will be unstoppable with the reading. I don't know where she got that...

Writing/Math/Cutting/Pasting: I love the Kumon books. I pull them apart and put them in sheet protectors in a binder so we can do them again and again. The cutting book we have, I copy and then she cuts the copy. They are just simple and fun. I've purchased them at Target, a used/new bookstore, and then at Costco.

Writing: I got the Handwriting without Tears book in January and I copy the pages for her to do. We do one here and there. She had all of a sudden started writing letters even though I had never taught her, so we figured, good time to start refining that! I'm not terribly impressed with it, but I like it and it seems to help, if only just helping me actually work on it with her!

Bible: The bible studies from Doorposts are what I'm really excited about. I just ordered them tonight. I felt really uncomfortable all year that I wasn't getting enough bible in, and feeling a sense of panic as to how to teach something I've just been learning myself. I have this intense passion for the book of Proverbs, and couldn't find a study anywhere. Then all of a sudden (thanks Abba!), I came across their Hidden Treasures study! I have also really been feeling at a loss as to how to guide my girls in responding to life with a biblical outlook. Enter "For Instructions in Righteousness"! God is good to me, so good.

I also have frustrated myself for the last 3 1/2 years by remembering there is a festival or holiday coming... but only the day before. Enough is enough! I just printed out monthly calendars from this month to June 2011 and wrote all the important dates in it. I hope to use that calendar during my lesson planning so I don't forget things. At least it is another attempt, right?

Language: This is something I'm just thinking about sticking in here and there. Like I said, #1 loves words and reading. A while back, she brought me The Magic School Bus: Human Body. Those are pretty detailed books. And she sat through it, crazy girl. The thing is, she brought me the Spanish version. She sat through a hard book IN SPANISH. She didn't understand a thing, but she didn't care. I was struggling, and I "speak" Spanish. Whew. It made me think it might be good to have some other languages in the mix, just to see what happens.

Price List Part 3: Other peoples grocery experiences

2010-04-03T15:53:00.001-07:00

This is a very disjointed series, but I like to organize things!

I've been following a new series of posts by 4 different moms. It is called 4 Moms, 35 kids. This last week they all posted their ideas on grocery budgets and I loved their ideas and their completely different takes on the same topic. Go check them out!

Life in a Shoe - where I found out about the posts. I appreciated the reminder to get a basic price for an item that I'm willing to spend, and to buy in season produce. (although organic produce doesn't seem to change much in our area, guessing Safeway is not buying things local :)

Smockity Frocks - they don't have a specific grocery budget even though they feed 10 people. That's already helping me get over my desire to know an exact amount and stick to it.

The Common Room - I think this post was an answer to my prayer this morning. Kit Cat is VERY picky, and we don't like it. But it is hard to make... ah, lets fix that, allow a strong willed 1 1/2 year old to not eat because she won't eat anything but cheese and fruit. Won't even let it touch her lips. This post helped me to emotionally get behind my husbands sound advice of "When the cheese runs out, don't get anymore." A few favorite quotes:

we think too much about our favorites, about what we like instead of what we need, about what we 'feel like having' instead of what we have in our hands or what is in season, and we want what we want when we want it and feel sorry for ourselves when we can't have it.

Being a picky eater displays a certain self centeredness, a focus on self and bodily comforts that I think hampers maturity as well as the ability to be content.

Raising Olives - As hospitality is something I would like to improve at, I especially noticed her practice of not including hospitality meals in the food budget. That way she feels free to get whatever she needs and not worry as much about the cost. This also instilled in me to try again to plan out breakfasts and lunches.

Fish Tacos

2010-03-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

Hows that for an image to go with fish tacos?!

A few weeks ago, my husband walked out to the garage to find something. He had just purchased a spelunker type head flashlight like the picture above, and was wearing that, which was making me giggle. So he walks back in, looks straight at me (which means I am completely blinded, hehehe!) and says, "The freezer is defrosted." I was having a bit of a hard time taking him seriously, with all the giggles and whatnot, so I thought he was joking... no such luck.

The biggest problem was the fish we had in there, it was already soft although not completely defrosted. Mother-in-law to the rescue, we canned all the white fish up the next day. Pew!

Anyway, so tonight I am trying the fish taco recipe from Newlyweds blog, one I haven't ever read before. But she came up when I typed in "fish tacos with lemon." More specifically, she calls it Fish Tacos with Lemon Butter Sauce... num! So tonight, I'm trying to recreate what she had, with canned white fish. We shall see!

UPDATE: Note to self, don't write blog post while waiting for white wine to reduce. She meant caramelized onions right?

RESULTS: Turned out great! Really easy, especially with the canned fish. I probably won't make the sauce again, as my wonderful husband didn't even remember it, but it was fine. Fish tacos now have a regular place on the meal plan.

Reworked Chicken n Dumplings recipe

2010-03-10T22:14:00.000-08:00

My husband loves Chicken n Dumplings. We had it at a friends house one night, and he spoke so highly of it, I had to get the recipe from her. The thing is, she used a combo of a recipe for chicken pot pie filling and a recipe for dumplings from, I think, Joy of Cooking. So when it got to my kitchen, it was already piece meal. Since that time, I have changed it to whole wheat and dairy free. I also use a triple batch of white sauce from my More-with-Less cookbook because the other recipe didn't seem to be enough liquid. Every time I make it, I have to do all the math in my head (yes, I know, most of it is easy, but still!), keep all the books and recipe cards out, and remember what I've tried and what works and what doesn't.

What doesn't: sweetened soy milk in white sauce. We're going for savory chicken soup here folks. Also, all whole wheat dumplings take a ridiculously long time to cook and are a little brick like.

Here is the recipe, in More-with-Less formatting because I like it. Italics are my commentary, if you want to copy and print, delete those parts :)

Whole Wheat, Dairy Free Chicken n Dumplings

Soup

Melt in heavy saucepan

6 T margarine

Blend in cooking and stirring until bubbly

6 T whole wheat flour

3/4 t. salt (okay, that is tripling the recipe, just dump some in)

Using wire whisk to prevent lumps, stir in

3 c chicken stock

Cook just until smooth and thickened. Stir in

2 c cut up cooked chicken

1 10 oz frozen peas and carrots (I use safeway's organic mixed veggies: carrots, peas, corn)

Dumplings

In a new bowl place

3/4 c whole wheat flour

3/4 c white flour

2 t. baking powder

3/4 t. salt

Add

3 T shortening

Cut shortening in until mix resembles fine crumbs. Stir in

3/4 c soy milk (I often have to add more)

Drop dough by spoonfuls onto hot meat or veggies (meaning do not drop it into just liquid where it will hit the bottom of the pan). Makes about 8-10 dumplings. Cook uncovered for 10 min. Cover and cook ...

...a lot longer then the 10 minutes it calls for. I think the whole wheat makes it take a lot longer. I'm assuming the dumplings cook from the bottom up, so I watch and as soon as the top doesn't look doughy, I check one with a fork. I've never had the inside be uncooked when the top looks done, but I'm paranoid that way. I will try to track it next time I make it because I keep totally underestimating how long it will take to finish. This is an easy to make recipe, but very time intensive. And very nummy. Even my dad, who is pure meat and potatoes, took a second helping of this.

The Husband Factor

2010-03-08T07:57:00.000-08:00

I've been a follower of the Messiah for close to 10 years now. I have been a wife for 5 1/2 years. I have been a stay at home wife/mother for just over 3 1/2.

I don't feel like I really started concentrating on my walk with God until I got married, at least not in the same way. I don't really feel like I concentrated on my wife role until after I stopped working outside the home. Incidentally, that was the same time I became a mother, so that kinda rolled into one HUGE learning curve. God is good though, as He didn't throw me into cooking meals until almost exactly a year after working on the combined wife/mother role. I could only take a little at a time.

Unfortunately, I've kicked and screamed through almost all of it. Except getting married and awaiting my babies, that is.

Not that I have a handle on it by any means, it is just habit now to work on those areas. God has given me so many areas of healing. I'm getting better at my day not going my way. Isn't that a funny thing to think might happen?! I manage to get food on the table at every meal without too much stress. I almost welcome washing dishes, its just part of my day. I am in the trenches still on how I respond to my children.

All this to say, the husband factor is what God is putting before me these days. I've been working on me, and what a wife does. Sure, you can't do that without concentrating on what a husband is, to some extent. Yet, everywhere I turn these days, I find myself learning more about how to care for him specifically, or growing in a desire to understand what he deals with on a day to day basis.

Husband's and fathers, men in general, are not held in high regard in this country. Most of the older women I am around, believers or not, don't treat their husbands with a whole lot of respect and/or submission. I see a lot more "i'm right" and fear of not being cared for the way they want to be. I find myself responding to situations with my husband with a contempt or disgust I don't actually feel. That I never agree with. I think it is learned. He is amazing and deserves better!

Here are some answers and blessings God has given me lately. I am hungry for more. I love this man and I want to support him and love him and uphold him as a man. As a man defined by God, not as my upbringing or culture defines him.

The Power of a Praying Wife, Stormy Omartin: I'm reading through this book. I feel like I need to mention that I have this nagging feeling as I read it, that I can't put my finger on. But I'm praying for my husband specifically more often, and actually considering what he is dealing with each day, so I am thankful. I appreciate the different topics to consider while praying. For example: His fatherhood, His integrity, His faith, His wife. Yeah, that last one is a tough one!

"My husband hunted, so I hunted. My husband listened to Country music, so I listened to Country music." - An amazingly Godly woman from our congregation. She carried her husband through cancer into the arms of God before I knew her. The honor and respect she still exudes for him is contagious and something I desire to learn from. She did start listening to different music after he passed, but there is no disgust in her tone as she speaks of doing what he loved rather then what she did.

"Don't point out his mistakes, just fill in the gap" - This was quoted on Fearlessly Feminine from a list in another resource. I love the perspective this gave me. How can I fill in the gap, whether or not there is an actual mistake in that area? How can I support my husband better each day? I think this applies to many relationships actually. Less complaining, more helpful action.

"If it would help your husband for you to fix the screen door or the faucet because he is busy doing something else, that is feminine... you were created to be your husbands helper so doing things to help him is feminine." - Victoria Botkin. This is in the context of masculine/feminine roles. This is from the first session in her Evenings with Victoria Botkin mentoring sessions, that started last Monday. If you haven't signed up, go do it and get in on the next 8 weeks. Here is a small quote from the description: "How does a wife help her husband be the man Christ wants him to be? How can she inspire him to love her? How can she discover the forgotten joys of being the helper God designed her to be?"

Price List Part 2: Our store options

2010-03-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

In our area, we have Safeway, Walmart, a natural food and two local stores. And Grocery Outlet, but you never know what they will have.

Walmart carries very few organic items, and most organic produce is packaged in plastic. They have organic regular and soy milk, but no other organic dairy. They have one brand of organic peanut butter and it is spendy and little. I do get select-a-size paper towels, deoderant, and kitty litter there.

The natural food store sometimes has good produce prices, usually has local produce, and all their other items are very expensive. Sometimes you have no other choice though. They were the first place I found an organic soy butter... two days before finding it much cheaper elsewhere! Oh well! They have it in a pinch.

One local store is out of the question. We only go there when we can't go somewhere else. They do carry some organic dairy, but no organic produce. I do find that they often have mark down stickers on their dairy items, more then I've ever seen anywhere else. Could be because they are TOO EXPENSIVE and things don't move quickly.

The other local store is bilingual, catering to our Hispanic community, and has the most alternative, health foods in the area. They have very little organic produce, and it is expensive (bananas: $1.19/lb!). They have the widest selection of Bob's Red Mill products, even in bulk. They have soy cheeses (yuck), butter (not organic), kombucha, kiefer, many milk alternatives, and much more. They even have many foriegn foods, with many packages not being in English or Spanish. Basically, if it is a normal food, they have it (cheerios). If it is an alternative/organic/ natural food, they have it (tahini paste and organic kombucha). If you are Russian, well, they might have it, but I can't read the packages.

Safeway is where we currently do most of our regular shopping. Spinach, apples, bananas, tofu, orange juice whole wheat pasta, spaghetti sauce, milk/soy milk, crackers, pretzles, whole wheat bread, frozen berries, frozen veggies and yogurt.

We also can go 1/2 hour away and have a Costco, Fred Meyer (or Freda Meyer as some 3 year olds say), local co-op and Trader Joe's. Can you see why I get overwhelmed? We really do have a lot of options, which is a blessing and a confusion.

Costco has a ton of organic options now. We get our chicken and hamburger there, as well as frozen corn, peanut butter, chicken stock and (not organic) bagels. Oh, and disposable diapers. And too much else.

Fred Meyer has a lot of alternative/natural/organic items. We don't go there a lot, but I did find a good organic soy pudding for a treat now and then. This no dairy thing is tricky to figure out.

We have been members of the co-op in the past. It is awkward because you have to have your card, and we never seem to. And there is no family membership, so only my husband is a member. They have great bulk foods, and we've often purchased dried fruits, flours, cereals and nuts there. They typically have traditional festival foods or items like matzah and Shabbat candles, as the seasons go.

We went to Trader Joe's for the first time today. Wow. I'd heard they had good prices, but they really do. How they fit so much in such a small space, I don't know. And how can they offer such low prices when other places can't? Safeway is in trouble!

Thrift and me

2010-03-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

I am more cheap then I am frugal. I don't like to spend money, which can be good and bad. I desire to be more frugal though.

I also get stressed out by looking for a good deal or searching around in used stores for the things I want. I don't have time to go to them over and over in hopes of finding something I wanted. I also don't want to fall into the thrift store trap of "Oh, but it is so inexpensive!" and buying things we don't need. But I'm getting better at trying there first.

When we recently decided we needed to get Big Sister some new puzzles because she is in a puzzle phase, I was pleased that my first thought was Goodwill! So we went. And then we realized we needed some shoes for her as she's all of a sudden grown and her shoes hurt. So for just under $14 we got a pair of boots, a pair of sneakers and 4 puzzles!

We've done 2 of the puzzles and they have all their pieces, plus two extra from a puzzle we didn't buy. Extra is better then not enough!

Price List Restart, Part 1: Our food preferences

2010-02-28T08:00:00.000-08:00

Every time I read about people's price lists/books, I want one. And I've tried many times. But I get overwhelmed and put too much in them. At least I think that's the problem.

But I need to come up with something. Our food spending is high, and I would like to see what I can do about that. My husband's opinion on budgeting is that as long as we tithe, pay our bills, and stay in the black, he doesn't really care about the rest. But I would like to do my best within that perspective as possible, as I appreciate how hard he works, and I want to learn to stretch his income.

I was just getting into my groove with shopping and monthly menu plans when we realized that dairy is causing our oldest to be constantly congested, with drainage and swallowing even while she sleeps. So now we are going dairy free (except Kitten Cat, as she only eats dairy!). So now I need to think this all through again. As I am long winded, I'll do it in parts for anyone who happens to read it.

Our Preferences

The newest preference is of course dairy free. While it isn't too difficult to change in my cooking, kids eat a lot of cheese, and I'm struggling to figure out what to make for lunch. And dairy alternatives are fairly spendy. Worth it though!

We are Torah observant. That means we observe the Levitical laws as much as we can. We offer our thanks to God by obeying His commandments even with what we eat. So no pork or pork products, including gelatin. And no shellfish, although that really didn't make it onto our meal plan before either :) And there is no kosher meat around here, although sometimes we can find kosher marshmallows!

We prefer organic whenever possible. We just rediscovered the Dirty Dozen list, and are evaluating our purchases based on that. Because organic is expensive. At least in the moment that is. Every time I try to talk myself out of getting organic, I get horrified by the thought of poisons in my children's food. Life is tough enough not to also eat things not made for our body.

We like whole foods, real foods. So no high fructose corn syrup, no fake food colors (Red 40, etc), no or limited processed and empty foods. And we try to include as many whole grains as possible.

The whole genetically modified issue is just on my radar, I haven't got a hold of that yet.

Whew, now that's processed on some level.

Looking back: The Sabbath Journey

2010-02-27T23:53:00.000-08:00

My husband and I are in our 3rd year of our Messianic walk. We have been believers in the Messiah for many more years (coming up on 10 for me), but became increasingly Torah observant when our oldest was 3 months old.

I just started to read the blog Fearlessly Feminine and this post about Shabbat got me thinking about how we got where we are today. In it she says:

I have heard countless testimonies of individuals coming to the realization that they should be keeping the Sabbath as the first step in their journey to becoming messianic.

How true! I think a main reason for that is although most believers claim the 10 commandments are applicable to the general Christian, most only practice 9, leaving the Sabbath as something undefined. Sure, there is church on Sunday... but why? And those of us who just can't leave it well enough alone start looking for answers.

Looking back over my life, the Sabbath/Shabbat had a hold of me long before I was even a follower of the Creator. It started when I spent a lot of time with my best friend and her family growing up. They are Mormons, and although I have a lot of issues with that religion, the Sabbath was an important day to them. It was Sunday, sure, but I knew they did no shopping and no homework and it was a day set aside for God, His people, and family. That exposure bugged me as a Sunday Christian where, other than attending church service, there was nothing different about the day. Even "Christian" bookstores were open. (don't get me started on how a bookstore can become a Christian :)

Early in my Christian walk, I read Nehemiah. He was passionate about keeping the Sabbath holy, angry at its neglect by the people. I've never been able to get away from the nag of that passion; I desire to have it as boldly as he did:

"... All kinds of goods were being brought to Jerusalem on the Sabbath day. So I warned [them] against selling food on that day. The Tyrians living there were importing fish and all kinds of merchandise and selling them on the Sabbath to the people of Judah in Jerusalem.

I rebuked the nobles of Judah and said to them: "What is this evil you are doing—profaning the Sabbath day? Didn't your ancestors do the same, so that our God brought all this disaster on us and on this city? And now you are rekindling [His] anger against Israel by profaning the Sabbath!" When shadows began to fall on the gates of Jerusalem just before the Sabbath, I gave orders that the gates be closed and not opened until after the Sabbath. I posted some of my men at the gates, so that no goods could enter during the Sabbath day...Then I instructed the Levites to purify themselves and guard the gates in order to keep the Sabbath day holy." Nehemiah 13:15-22

And finally, as a Pregnancy Center employee, God gave me Seventh Day Adventist friends. My client was a sweet woman who obviously loved God. Her husband was a kind man who would not, NOT, give up on me observing the 7th day Sabbath! We had conversations over 2 years, spilling out from work into conversations between him and my husband. Sabbath conversations are hard enough, but these were all in Spanish! God was working at me anyway He could, even through a severe language barrier.

After a year in a Torah Club homestudy, thinking everyone was nuts (but really wonderful people) we started Torah Club 4: The Good News of Messiah. In the first or 2nd week, both our eyes were opened. Suddenly, everything made sense. That Friday night, my wonderful husband looked at me and said, “Well I don’t know what we can or can’t do on Shabbat, but going to the Congregation we can’t go wrong.” And we’ve never gone back.

Long Gone and probably continuing

2009-11-09T07:20:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted here in months, if not almost a year. With two kids, a wonderful husband, 2 cats, a dog, a house and a homeschool to take care of... you get the picture. HaShem convicted me that the internet is just too much of a trap. I still read blogs and spend too much time on facebook, but i've got a lot of the time wasting under control. Maybe someday soon I'll figure out how to take some of that facebook time and put it to better use here. Till then, shalom!

Pay It Forward - handmade gifts

2009-02-23T22:14:00.000-08:00

I rarely try to comment on giveaways, but I had to comment on how much I appreciate Femininity in a Feminist World when she was doing the Pay it Forward post, because I do appreciate it. And then, I ended up being one of the first 3, so here we go:

The first three people to comment on this post will win a homemade gift from me. The rules say I have to get that gift to you within 365 days, but I hope to do better then that. I won't make a promise though!

Then, those three people will hold a "Pay It Forward" giveaway and send another three people homemade gifts. I thought it might be a fun way to have to find time to make something fun.

So leave a comment, and let me know how you are doing!

(Blogger seems to be having issues at the moment, so I can't see the link icon. I'll try to update it later, but meanwhile, here is the address to the above mentioned blog: http://femininityinafeministworld.blogspot.com/2009/02/pay-it-forward.html)

Husband Encouragment Challenge: Day 15

2009-02-18T22:05:00.000-08:00

"Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
2 Peter 3:18a

My Favorite is an amazing man of God. He has a wisdom that is beyond his years of age, and it is a blessing to me almost daily. We have been together since I was 15, so I have had a chance to see him in the ups and downs of a walk of faith, and it has been amazing.

Right now, it is just amazing to watch him work hard to figure out how to be a Daddy who translates his faith to his little girls. I am not sure there is anything that could bring tears to a mama's eyes faster then seeing her little girl on Daddy's knee learning about God. Tears of thanks and joy and amazement. Growing up, I didn't even know to ask for a husband, let alone pray for one who could lead me the way My Favorite does. Not only is he a wonderful leader, he makes it easy to do my job of following, of submitting. I love his view on scripture, on parenting, on life situations. I have learned and grown in numerous ways because of this man.

He is purposeful in his love of me and the girls. He actively loves me as Christ loves the church, I can only hope to grown in my ability to follow him as the church should follow Christ.

Lord, thank you for my wonderful husband. You have created in him an amazing example of a Godly man. I see his desire to love you more, to understand his role as husband and daddy, to be more of what you want every day. I pray, my King, that you would help me to be the wife he needs to be the husband you command he be. You are a gracious giver of awesome gifts, and he is truly one of my favorites. In the name of Yeshua the Messiah, amen.

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30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge: The Rules

You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

Husband Encouragment Challenge: Foot in Mouth Disease

2009-02-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

Here is the verse that came with the Challenge email today:

"With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love."
Ephesians 4:2

So what had I done yesterday that made this a perfect verse for today? Lied.

Yep, I told, or allowed for, what the world would call a "white lie." To my wonderful husband, no less. This is a sign of foot-in-mouth disease because I had just been "enjoying" the other wonderful sin of judgment earlier this week. One of our friends lies often and I had the audacity to say, out loud, "Hmm, I have my weaknesses, but that isn't one of them. I don't understand that one at all" (not to her of course, adding talking-behind-the-back to my list) Yeah, I know. I can see you cringe and groan.

So yesterday I found myself in a quickly snowballing lie. The worst part, if there can be a worst part since it is all awful, is that it is completely tied to the wonderful Valentines present he got me. He completely surprised me with an ipod full of audiobooks from behemoth.com, our new favorite site. He is so good at presents, I had no idea at all that he had that up his sleeve. None. I was totally caught off guard, blessed, surprised. I felt like a little girl on Christmas morning actually. To quickly tarnish it.

God gave me multiple opportunities to get out of the lie quickly, but I didn't even see what was happening. I do struggle with the sin of "fear of man." I am quick to care more about what others think, or how they feel, then to be or say or do what I know I should. And that is what the lie came out of. Honestly, I hadn't made the mental connection to fear of man being a sin until we were watching What is Biblical Femininity? this week, and one of the women brought up that it is a sin of selfishness.

I woke up this morning realizing what had happened, and knowing what needs to happen. I am really ashamed, embarrased and surprised at myself. My Favorite is currently sleeping, with a little girl curled up next to him. So I can't confess at the moment. I sent him an email confession, not to get out of doing it (pray I don't), but in hopes that it would help me not be able to talk myself out of it. This is not something I am willing to give a foothold to. Please pray for strength, this is the first time I have confessed anything in the 4 1/2 years of marriage.

Yep, 4 1/2 years today. Good morning handsome husband, Happy Valentines Day, we've had a great 4 1/2 years... I lied. Just what I was going for.

Husband Encouragment Challenge: Day 10

2009-02-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how I am doing on this challenge. I do know that I am way more aware of what I am saying and thinking then 10 days ago, and for that I will be thankful. I really appreciate the emails reminding me every day to check my heart and my spirit as well as my words and actions.

"Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant!"
Song of Solomon 1:16a

I think I tell him all the time, but just in case he doesn't know, I love how handsome my husband is! He is built just the right height for me, I tuck under his arm perfectly. He has broad shoulders and is built nice and sturdy. I appreciate that. His strong hugs and sturdy hands make me feel safe. His hands are just comforting, it might seem silly, but they are. When he reaches over and grabs my hand while we're driving, I feel happy and loved and protected and a whole lot more emotions that I wouldn't expect. Such a simple thing really.

For example, just this last weekend, we had an opportunity to go to the grocery store together, without the girls. It had been a while I guess, because I was just giddy! It felt like ages since I had held his hand and walked next to him. It hasn't really been ages, but I was able to really concentrate on us, on him, on how he makes me feel. I've been living off those few moments all week.

Thank you Lord, for giving me a husband who grows more handsome to me every day.

Husband Encouragment Challenge: Day already behind

2009-02-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

I want to be purposeful about this encouragment, and for me, taking time to write it down is important. But I have 2 kiddos and that just can't happen the way I might wish it could. And I am determined to be perfectly content with that!

"Let him labor, working with his hands what is good . . ."
Ephesians 4:28b

My wonderful husband is a computer programmer/developer. He LOVES his work, and could do it day and night. Guys who do this kind of work have amazing brains, at least mine is always trying to figure out how to make it better and easier and more efficient. He thinks about everything, and makes everyone around him have to think. And that is a good thing, in my book.

One of my favorite moments in the day is when Teeny asks where Daddy is going. "To work" he replies. "Why?" she has asked since she was very young. "So you can have a roof over your head and food to eat." is the reply. One of my new favorite verses is this:

"But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content."
1 Timothy 6:8

My husband works hard, loves what he does, always wants to do more and better and does it for God and his family. We are blessed in his willingness to do so. Our cupboards and freezers are full, as are our closets and dressers. We have more then contendedness, moving on to abundance and an opportunity to share with others. Even in these hard times, he, under God's blessing, provides and protects us 3 gals here at home.

One of my desires is to become better, and more efficient and more frugal with what I have been given as a job (housework, groceries, food, serving, training kids) so that what he works so hard for can go further and grow stronger and continue on in generations to come. With all he has on his shoulders, he is still more then willing to advise and help me in my areas of responsibility. My goodness, what a blessed woman I am!

To My Favorite

2009-02-02T21:20:00.000-08:00

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:11-12

I started that challenge today. You said it would be major, and I'm knowing it will be even bigger then that. You more then anyone know how negative and judgmental I can be. But there is a better way, and you deserve it!

You aren't here for me to tell you how thankful I am for you. But I am. Who would have thought all those years ago that we would be here today? I have learned so much, and can only thank God and you for bringing me to who I am today.

There are so many things you do that bless me, things I probably never mention, that I could write post after post after post. But for today, I'll share the following. You do it often, but a few months ago, I stopped whatever I was doing to listen to you with our oldest girl. You were doing something in the kitchen and she was not behaving well. It was one of those moments where I feel like pulling my hair out :0) Instead, I heard you purposefully calm, and slow your words down, talking to her with such deliberate love. I was impressed and greatly encouraged. Not because you talk to her without love, but because it helped me remember to be purposeful with my words and the attitude behind them. And it reminded me that God has abundantly blessed me with you.

Thanks for taking care of us, I love you. And I love being your wife!

30 Day Husband Encouragment Challenge: Day 1

2009-02-02T15:27:00.000-08:00

I happen to love the book "Lies women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free" by Nancy DeMoss. It was one of the first books I got last week in my experimenting with paperbackswap, just so I can have it on hand. Well, it turns out Miss DeMoss has a 30 day husband encouragment challenge on her site, and I'm going to try.

I heard about it on My Pursuit Of..., a blog I found because of Before Five in a Row (BFIAR). So Robin took the challenge along with a friend. I don't know either of them, but know it is a challenge that could only be good.

Here are the rules:

* You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband! (I'm assuming this means you should say something)

Yeah, read that again. NOTHING negative to anyone. I can't tell you how long I sat there looking at the rules thinking, "Yeah, I know that's what God wants... but could I actually do it? Do I really want to take that on?"

I am incredibly negative. More so then even I realize. Now, I don't think it will be hard not to say anything negative about My Favorite, he is pretty amazing. I couldn't have ever dreamed of any man as perfect for me as him. But to give you an idea of what kind of a challenge this is, I'll let you know me nickname used to be Eeyore.

Well, may this be a new start to a grumpy whiney heart.

I'm a Gentile

2009-02-02T15:20:00.000-08:00

I think most of the people who read this little blog are Torah Observant/Messianic. As you can see over there on the side bar, my two followers are :0) Anyway, in case there is someone who stops by who isn't and wonders what a Gentile is doing following that old part of the bible, check out this post by First Fruits of Zion. I love the clarity and understanding they bring to issues that seem so confusing when I look at them.

I am a Gentile, and I give thanks to HaShem that He would be willing to graft me into the common wealth of Israel. What an awesome God!

Menu Plan Monday: 3 days alone

2009-02-02T08:57:00.001-08:00

So My Favorite is out of town for a few days, which makes the house emptier then I like and makes dinner planning easier. Why? Because I like to have food ready for him as soon after he gets off, knowing he is (and we are) hungry and knowing how wonderful it was when he did that for me. Back when we both worked and had no little ones. But if he's not here, and Teeny really doesn't eat dinner anyway, I can be more relaxed and eat whatever.

But I invited my SIL and niece to dinner tonight so we will be dining on some corn tortilla quesadillas with tomato soup. Num.

Monday: Tomato Soup w/ quesadillas
Tuesday: Family Night with my dad, mom is out of town
Wednesday: Bean soup over brown rice (rice from freezer leftovers of last weeks stir fry!)
Thursday: Roast w/ carrots and potatoes
Friday - Sunday: Sandwiches, Congo Squares, Chili Dip (out of town for really late Christmas party)

Head over to orgjunkie.com for more ideas!

For The Love of Beets: Beet Salad with Feta, Quinoa and Walnuts

2009-01-26T13:31:00.000-08:00

(Pic from Salt and Pepper, a random blog that had a great picture. Check out her salad!)

We got this recipe with one one of our CSA boxes 2 years ago, and we still have it a couple times a month. The first time we made it, it was supposed to be a lunch with my good friend who is a vegetarian. As things go, it ended up being dinner and she brought her boyfriend. In an attempt to make this a meal for many, we quickly made some quinoa (we like red or black better then white) and stirred it all in together. Oh my! It has been a hit with anyone who has had it. I'll include the epicurious.com recipe, but I don't measure the sauce ingredients anymore. I put a lot more in to make up for the added grain. Give it a try!

BEETS AND CARAMELIZED ONIONS WITH FETA

1 Tablespoon cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard (preferably whole-grain or coarse-grain)
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 lb onions (one medium), quartered lengthwise, then cut crosswise into 1-inch pieces
1 bunch small whole beets, scrubbed and trimmed to leave 1 inch of stem
2 oz crumbled feta (about 1/3 cup)
1/8 cup pine nuts (1 oz), toasted and coarsely chopped (we use walnuts)

Roast, steam or boil beets ahead of time. Or use canned. We freeze them when we get a lot during the summer.

Make quinoa according to package directions. (I saved the directions off the first box we bought, and then bough bulk after that).

Whisk together vinegar, mustard, pepper, and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a large bowl, then add 1 tablespoon oil, whisking until combined well.

Cook onions with remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt in remaining 2 tablespoons oil in a 12-inch heavy skillet over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until golden brown. Add onions to dressing, then add beets and cheese, stirring gently to combine. Serve sprinkled with nuts.

Menu Plan Monday: Friends week

2009-01-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

We got a lot of dinner invites this week. Love it! However, we are starting this week with my husband's family, to eat healthier. Calorie counting for them, and since I am nursing a little one still, exercise, drinking water and avoiding sugar and white flour for me. So eating at other's houses is difficult. We already don't eat pork, and it is so not fun to ask for exceptions being made for yourself when invited somewhere. So pray things go well and we can take care of these bodies HaShem gave us!

Sunday: Dinner with friends
Monday: Stir fry w/ peanut sauce*, super firm tofu and rice
Tuesday: Dinner with friends
Wednesday: Beet Salad (roasted beets w/ carmalized onions, walnuts, quinoa and feta)
Thursday: Family Night
Friday: Dinner with friends
Shabbat Oneg: Not entirely sure yet

* Found this very informal recipe when looking for a stir fry sauce without soy sauce. I don't remember where it came from: mix peanut butter (or any nut/seed butter) with some fresh minced ginger, minced garlic, a bit of honey, some apple cider or rice vinegar, and salt. NUM!

Don't forget to check out all the other menu plans on I'm an Organizing Junkie. Looks like she is having a neat give away this week!

Appropriate Bathroom Decor

2009-01-21T19:33:00.001-08:00

I like the idea of having a few decorations here and there, but I am really picky and have a style that even I can't pinpoint. In fact, the colors in our bathroom were inspired by a gift that was meant as a gag.

The Pregnancy Resource Center I interned with before we were married threw me a surprise bridal shower. But we hadn't registered anywhere and apparently they had been trying to get out of me our colors. Like I said, I have a style in my head that I can't even figure out. So one of the wonderful ladies got fed up with me and bought one set towels (bath, hand, washcloth) in the brightest colors she could find. Orange, turquoise and yellow I think. I loved them! We registered for a full set of them, plus bright green.

All that to say, I thought these recycled toilet paper/button flowers (at Plum Pudding) were great decor for a bathroom! So I made one big flower, and one plain button flower and put them in a Oaxacan black clay vase we brought back from our honeymoon to Puerta Vallarta. I wouldn't mind making some more, they were very fun.

Here are a few other trinkets and items in our bathroom. All are from Mexico. Why do I love these colors?! My personality totally doesn't match, but my bright turquoise front-room does :0) Sorry, the flash is kinda washing everything out.

A gift from an American woman while on a 2 1/2 month mission trip in Mexico. She was used to very high class living, and was amazingly brave to spend a week with us smack dab in village life. It was even the week where our bathroom was out of service and we had to use an outhouse that we shared with 100+ kids. Amazingly brave. She was a blessing to us in many ways.

A little box bought by my mom when she came to visit me while I was on that misson trip. She gave it to me for Christmas the next year. I love boxes, don't know why.

A nativity scene from my mom.

My Favorite and I bought these from a lady in Puerta Vallarta on our honeymoon. If I remember right, she was selling them for her brother-in-law and had tables and tables of these tiny paintings under the bridge by the river. They were being sold for too little money and some were quite detailed.

I forget how much I love these little reminders of our time down there, and how pleasing they all are to me. I like my bathroom, as far as liking bathrooms goes!

Handmade Alphabet

2009-01-19T19:27:00.000-08:00

I have wanted to make these frozen juice lid magnets for so long. I got the idea, I don't know where actually. My head? But we don't buy frozen juice concentrate, so I asked my dad to save his. Turns out they don't buy it often anymore either, but thanks to the SGD Syndrome (Second Generation Depression Syndrome, coined by My Favorite :0) my dad has, he happened to have a whole bag of them in the garage. So off I went!

Each magnet is a magazine cutout of the letter. I love cutting pictures or scraps out of magazines, for some reason it is incredibly relaxing to me. My Favorite just laughs when he sees me sitting amidst a pile of magazines and a cloud of paper scraps. Anyhow, I was hoping that these would be prettier and more fun then the plastic version. I also was thinking that these magnets would be harder to swallow if a little Kitten, or Teeny, happened to pull them off. Which at this point would be more a danger for the 2 1/2 year old then the one who can't even crawl yet. As far as being fun, I don't think Teeny cares one way or the other. But I had a blast making them!

Here is a close up of one. Sorry about the bad lighting, my camera was being interesting:

And here is the back. I am very visual, so I like to see all sides of things.
If you study the first picture a little, you will notice the lineup is missing the J T X and Z. Some letters are harder to find then you would think! I could just print them out, but it was fun trying to find letters big enough and interesting enough. Well, those four I would just take if I found them big enough!

Supplies used:

Frozen Juice Lids
Magnet strips
Letters cut from magazines
Black paint
Yes! Paste (for cutouts, great stuff)
Modge Podge to cover (this wasn't necessarily the best choice, but they look very handmade :0)

Since she doesn't seem that interested in them as something to play with, I was happy that we found an impromptu game to play. Since she just learned all her letters and their sounds with the lovely Leapfrog DVD, as she was standing next to the fridge the other dayI asked her to find the letter that makes the "ull" sound. She happily found the "L." Then I asked for the letter that makes the "bu" sound. "Where it is? Where it is? Oh, here Mama" and she handed me the "B." We only did 4 letters, but I was proud of her.

The Amazing Leapfrog Letter Factory

2009-01-18T09:23:00.000-08:00

A says Ahh, A says Ahh every letter makes a sound... A says ahh!

If you've been reading long, you know we are planning to homeschool our children. Both of us are gradated (like that? I truly did not mean to spell it wrong, but think it wouldn't be right to change it. Too ironic) public school kids, public school college students, but we want something different for our kids. Wanting to be purposeful with learning, but not rigid at 2 yrs, I asked My Favorite what he wanted from this year. Teeny has most of her shapes (including "ocagone") down as well as her colors. His biggest thing was the alphabet. Sounds great!

Teeny has known the letters in her name for a while. But just the capital letters and not the sounds. We started using Before Five In A Row curriculum this last fall and although it does not officially go through letters, Homeschool Share has a go along for each book to help you incorporate it. So going into December, Teeny knew the capital (because I forgot about lower case) A, B, C, O, R, S, W and Y. But not the sounds.

Then my mother-in-law asked me to give her ideas for Christmas and I remembered my neice likeing Leapfrog's The Letter Factory. So come Christmas, we got the DVD and have been watching it since.

2 weeks into it and honestly, she knew all the letters, lower case and capitol, and all the sounds. I am not joking. Read the reviews, it isn't just her, although I'm sure she is a genious *smile* If you have anyone in your life trying to learn their letters, here is my recommendation. We have since ordered the 5 pack with all the other Leap DVDs. We shall see if they live up to the first one!

To Do: Jan 13

2009-01-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I just need to see that I did something more then wash dishes:

Processed block of cheese (shredded for freezer)
Paid comcast bill (before bill went into the pit that is our desk!)
Prepared letter activity: D dragon w/ potato stamp
"Exercised" with Teeny and Principessa (Italian for "princess," our 4 yr old niece)
Let Teeny rinse breakfast dishes
Prepared calendar through April
Read a few chapters out of a real book

Today was the first time Teeny had ever asked to help with dishes, at least since she could actually reach the sink. So yeah, that is part of the daily washing dishes, but I was excited to remember she is so capable of doing things!

Okay, I got a lot done today actually! See why I write it out? It's a lot more fun to do after I finish, rather then before.

Menu Plan Monday

2009-01-12T15:24:00.001-08:00

I'm feeling a bit nervous about doing this. Not the meal planning part, but putting a link on the orgjunkie.com site! I don't get a chance to post all that often... but I'm going to do it so maybe I'll be better about planning. Hopefully putting the plan up Monday afternoon is not too late.

I started meal planning 2 summers ago when we started getting a CSA from a local farm. I had to or it would just rot in our fridge! This summer, being pregnant and then with Kitten being a newborn, well, you know how it goes. So we are back at it.

I plan a month at a time, but don't shop a month at a time. Maybe someday. I just sat down to plan January because I have been stuck at my MILs house for a good portion of the last few weeks due to weather disasters. Makes for a fast month, in a way.

Here is this week:

Monday: Bean Soup (home canned) over rice w/ canned nectarines
Tuesday: Family Night Makeup*
Wednesday: Lasagna (frozen, home made by my mom)
Thursday: Family Night*
Friday: Beef Stew
Shabatt**: Beef Stew

*Family Night: Every Thursday we have Family Night, where we are either eating at my parent's house or my wonderful in-law's house. I try to go early and help the Grandma's make dinner, but it is nice to have one night a week where I am not soley responsible for dinner.

**Shabbat: We observe the Sabbath (Hebrew "Shabbat") from sundown Friday to sundown Sat. During that time, there are two meals I need to prepare for, before sundown on Friday: dinner on Friday and Oneg on Saturday. Oneg means delight, and while every minute of Shabbat is a delight, our congregation (and maybe others?) call the meal we share after service "Oneg." I'm still getting better at making things for this and have found it works nice to make a big pot of soup or something Friday for dinner and to take to service. We don't eat much food yet, even if we are a 4 person family.

Please check out orgjunkie.com for hundreds, literally, more meal plans!

Puzzle re-tried

2009-01-05T11:00:00.000-08:00

Almost forgot! I only got her to do one, but thought I'd risk trying the recycled box puzzles again. But this time I put her in front of the computer where I brought the picture of the completed puzzle up, so she could see what I wanted her to do. I hadn't had time to print them yet. It worked!

Here's what she did:
Took one look at the picture.
Picks up top piece, "This goes hee-ya" (here) and puts it on the ground.
Picks up bottom piece, "This goes hee-ya" and puts it below the top piece, with a bit of space between them
(Picks up the final piece) "Hee-ya!" and puts it on top of the bit of space!

There wasn't enough room for that third piece, so it wasn't exactly together, but I could see that she totally got it! Good work Teeny!

Activity Success!

2009-01-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

Today has gone much better then expected. Teeny Tiny woke up before we went to bed, drenched in sweat. My Favorite helped her change her clothes and cuddled with her while I changed the sheets. She fell right to sleep, but woke up around 7:00 am which was too early, especially because she felt sick. She didn't argue when I told her to go back to sleep.

When she woke up smiling at 8, we cuddled on the couch and read books. Kitten (our 5 mth old daughter :0) joined us when she woke up, although all she wanted was to eat the books. Just like her big sister did!

Teeny had seen the basket of activities and kept wanting to try them, so we set up in the front room after sending her Cow (2 yr old ACD pup) outside. I don't have a work rug that is used in Montessori work, but like the idea, so used a blanket. It was not a good choice, as it moved around too easily when Teeny did.

First I got out the Toy Outline matching I had put together. I didn't have a drawstring bag, but put the items in a huge pillowcase. Not the best, but it worked for today.

She loved it! It was really easy for her, but she was proud of matching them all up. The first time I just had her grab something out and match it to the card. We did that twice. Then I laid out a card and she had to find that item in the bag without looking. Not a problem at all. So this might actually be too easy, but we'll play with it again since it is new.

She wanted to play with the car, for about 30 seconds, before she came looking for something else. So I got out the Hard/Soft Sorting. I had put only 3 of each in a basket, but ended up using everything from the pillowcase too. Reading Chasing Cheerios helped me remember to watch her face as she sorted, and it was actually fun to see her thinking.
It took her only a few seconds to figure it out, then she grabbed item after item putting them in the right bowl. "Hard. Soft. Hard, right?" That's how she does everything. "I like chockit, right?" So cute!

On to the next activity! I had pulled 5 sets of matching Dora cards out of Teeny's Dora game (she doesn't even know who Dora is yet) and showed her how to lay them out and then match them. Again, really easy for her. But that is good to know.

Activities to do

2009-01-04T20:12:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I am going to try out some of my Chasing Cheerios inspiration. Check out the site, because a lot of her ideas came from other Mama Blogs. Plus, it is a neat site.

Here is what I have gathered. Not sure how many days it will take, or if we'll do them all in 4 1/2 minutes, but hey, I did something!

Hard/Soft Sorting
Toy Outline Matching
Dora Matching (okay, not from the site, but Teeny was given a set for Christmas and now is the time to use it!)

Puzzle failure

2009-01-04T19:43:00.000-08:00

I've seen these recycled box puzzles around the blogesphere, and was reminded of them again while reading Chasing Cheerios. So I made 3 of them, using different shapes in each.I will have to try it out on a different day though. I was so excited about them, that I tried yesterday when Teeny and I were both out of sorts with a cold. They might be to difficult for her anyway, but I'll give her another chance when she feels better. And I actually took these pics to print out a small version so she can see what she is trying to make. I thought that might make it possible.

Have a cup of Chock-it

2009-01-04T19:27:00.000-08:00

Its been a great while since I've posted, and I have no idea if i'll get around to posting more, but here's a beautiful girl drinking some hot chock-it that she poured herself. I was quite pleased with how well she did pouring from the little tea pot. I actually spilled more my first time then she did. Pouring is going well, knowing when to be finished pouring is not! And she liked trying to get the marshmallows into her mouth while drinking, so a bib with pocket is required.

One of my new favorite sites is Chasing Cheerios, I have spent 3 days reading through the archives of Toddler Activities, Montessori and such. I hadn't thought of having her pour liquids herself, which is so silly, until I read this the other day. I love sites like this because they remind me that Teeny Tiny can do so much more then I give her credit for, or opportunity to try. And, sometimes, it gives me an ounce more patience while having her do new things. Instead of taking it personally which is really lame, but what my first reaction is.

Proverbs 10:12

2008-11-09T07:03:00.000-08:00

"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses"
Proverbs 10:12

This is what caught my eye today. Especially in light of the Newer Testament reading for last week:

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, "You shall not murder and whoever murders will be liable to judgment." But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You Fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire"
Matthew 5:21-22

There is a young family member who I really struggle to feel love towards. Not only do I tend not to feel love, which in of itself isn't a huge issue, because love is more then a feeling, but I tend to feel quite angry and annoyed at. It makes me really sad, because she is someone very dear to my little girl, and should be very dear to me and needs the love I should have that should cover over the irritations. But instead of feeling love, I have almost a physical reaction to the things she does to purposefully antagonize or test those around her. She's just a little girl! It is not even her job to know how to appropriately act, although I get the sense that she knows exactly what she is doing. And I don't know how to appropriately act in such situation.

How do I overlook it? How do I let love cover all offenses? How do I know the difference between a time to do something or say something, and when I am overreacting?

That is my prayer today. Currently, I am trying to emulate My Favorite as he purposefully picks her up and says he loves her every time they are together. I've just started, and I'm disappointed at how hard it is for me to do, but I will continue to do so. I try to hold onto that moment where we are close physically, and her grin and soft voice shows me that she knows I love her, because I really do, far down.

Also, in helping my little girl learn to react within this relationship, I pray that I don't pass on the feelings I have towards this other little girl. I pray that the things I use to help Teeny learn to love her shows a love I don't necessarily feel, and that no favoritism is shown either way.

Lord, please guide me in this situation. Please help me know how to apply your word to this relationship. Family is for the long haul and I don't want to damage what I have with this little girl any further then I have already. Please be my wisdom and guide, our protector and teach me how to love so I can teach my girls to love. In hashem yeshua hameshiach, amen.

Adoption

2008-11-08T23:16:00.000-08:00

Ever since my first trip to Mexico in 2000, adoption has been a flicker in my heart. Is it for us? How can we not? Is it His will? Now, in 10 years, never? It has been coming up again lately, and I just want to lay this before you Lord. What does it mean? What do you want from us? I dearly love my babies, and it breaks my heart that there are little ones (or not so little ones) out there who do not have that love around them, or even worse, are living in the midst of hate. I look at how frustrated I get at my two joys and wonder how I could ever even give them enough of what they deserve, let alone others. Please guide my heart, my attitude, our finances, our goals to be ready for whatever you will call this family to. Help me weed out the junk in my daily life that doesn't matter and is in the way.

So spoiled

2008-11-08T23:03:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in my bed. up too late, sobbing. I act so spoiled sometimes when I should act blessed.

My Favorite is still at work, and will be again tomorrow. So for all intents and purposes, I haven't seen him really since he left for work thursday morning, and won't unless he really gets Vetran's day off on Tuesday. And I dearly love being with him, not to mention needing him.

Then I read an article by a mom of 7 whose husband is in the Navy and is away. And I think, what a big whiny baby I am. A few days of 24/7 - a few hours here and there with a 2 year old and an infant and I feel like life is impossibly hard? Give me a break. Did I even try to spend time with God? Even on Shabbat? Not in a way that would satisfy me if I were God. Not as if we have a real relationship.

My prayer... well, lets just pray:

Oh Abba! Why do I stay so far away from you? Why do I cry and whine and have pitty parties? Why do I feel this heavyness over me that makes me feel like I am just out of reach of doing what you want me to with my day? Please give me a hunger for your word. Please grow my heart full of love for the role you have given me as Mama of these joys, the big joy and little joy. Please give me purposefullness with my time and my choices of activities. Prioritize my day, my to do list, make it what will matter to you every second and what will matter to my babies at the end of their life. How do I balance being a wife and being a mama and being your daughter and being a daughter and being an aunt and... Please be my strength and help me let you be that. I fear what that might mean, but I ask it anyway, because I know it is the only thing that matters. I praise you that you hear me, that you continue waiting for me to turn to you, that you continue leading me even when I don't spend time with you. You are the friend I always want and I thank you for that. May you be my biggest Joy.

Lies Young Women Believe...

2008-11-07T21:31:00.000-08:00

This is a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The teen version of Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free. Both excellent books in my opinion.

This book deals directly and pointedly with issues that face young girls who call themselves Christians. It is not a "be true to yourself" or feel good book. It is very loving, I think, and had I been a Christian when I was a teenager, I would have wanted this book. It has helped me look at some of the lies I believe even now as an almost 30 year old wife and mama.

It is broken into 3 parts. Part 1 - The Landscape of Lies (what a lie is, who fell for it origionally, what the truth is). Part 2 - Lies Young Women Believe. And Part 3 - Overcoming Lies. The 2nd section covers some interesting lies about:

God
Satan
Myself
Guys
Relationships
My Faith
Sin
Media
Future

Here are a few of the specific lies they cover that impressed me the most (that they would discuss, not that I necessarily fall for!): God is not enough; I've never been exposed to satanic activities; It's not really sex; It's okay to be one person at home and a different person with others, especially online; My youth pastor is my connection to God; and my fav "Having a career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling then being 'just' a wife and mom."

I strongly believe that all parents who have daughters under the age of 30 (really) should read this book to get a better understanding of what is at war with these generations. Especially those whose girls are now teenagers or will be soon. The online aspect of this generation is a whole new ballgame, and we are generations into feminism.

I strongly believe that any person who goes to a church where there are young women or girls who will become young women should read this book. Especially youth pastors and their wives (and yes, I think youth pastors should have wives before they act in such a role).

I wish strongly that all husbands of Christian wives would read this book and the one for "regular" women. You are our protectors, even if we don't know or accept that, and these really are the lies that go through our heads. Please pray for us!

All women should read the general book, all 30 and under should read both.

I could go on and on, quoting some of their hard hitting lines and all the points that hit home for me. But read it for yourself. Their goal is obvioiusly to turn women's hearts to God and the role He has for us, to turn the hearts of girl's to their families and the adults He has placed around them. To honor and glorify, bring peace and truth. And personal accountability. Not for the faint of heart.

Jonah 1:3

2008-10-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

"But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the LORD. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went on board, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the LORD."

Jonah 1:3

(found this here, not recommending site, haven't read it)

Noticed "rose." Was Jonah just sitting around waiting for HaShem to tell him to do something?

What does Tarshish mean? Can't really find a good definition. Seems to be a town that they aren't sure of the location exactly. The jist of what I'm reading is that it was possibly the furthest Jonah could go in his day and age.

Where is it? Right up there on the map :0) In Spain or Turkey or India from what I'm reading.

Where was Jonah at the time? Oh, somewhere near Joppa and above Joppa because he went "down." In other words, who knows?

What does Joppa mean? Beauty and comeliness, also called Yafo or Jaffa. Thought to be one of the oldest ports. Was given to the tribe of Dan.

Where is it? Between Caesarea and Gaza, south of Tel Aviv

Did he really think he could flee the presence of the LORD? Would he have heard Psalms by then? He didn't have a copy sitting on his shelf, so maybe not.

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

Psalm 139:1-7

But also, genesis 4:16 says "Then Cain went away from the presence of the LORD." The above verse from Psalms seems to contradict that idea, that Cain could physically walk away from HaShem. I don't believe the bible contradicts itself, so there must be a different way to look at it. We obviously can't flee from Hashem, He is always watching over us, but it doesn't mean we can't turn our back on God's presence in our life. He might be everywhere, but we can and do ignore Him. So maybe it is not that Jonah thought he could get away from God Himself, but wanted to show that he was definitely NOT going to do what He asked.

I'll never know, but I wonder how much it cost to get on the ship. What did Jonah do that allowed him to have money to buy a fare?

I noticed it is all about going away, getting away, going down, getting away! Away! Away!

Meals: Congo Squares

2008-10-16T14:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, these aren't a meal, but if you leave them out on the counter, they might end up being so!

(okay, I'm no photographer, but they taste better then they look)

Two days ago, I made Congo Squares under the watchful eye of my MIL. I learn so much better and work so much faster if I have someone I can ask questions of the whole time! This is a recipe that was lost for years and is recently been found. I asked her where it came from and she said her mother made for them growing up, but she doesn't know where it came from before that. Great Grandma M sometimes made them with dates, Oma said, which was horribly disappointing. Anyway, with chocolate chips, this is a very rich, irresistible dessert that is really easy. Easy to eat too, so again, don't leave them on the counter.

Congo Squares

Ingredients
2 3/4 c flour
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2/3 c shortening/butter
2 1/4 c brown sugar or 1 lb box
3 eggs
1 c nuts (opt)
1 12 oz pkg or 2 1/2 c. chocolate chips

Directions
Mix flour, baking powder and salt. Melt shortening. Add to brown sugar. Stir to mix. Allow to cool slightly. Add eggs one at a time, beating after each one. Add dry ingredients. Then add nuts and chips. Pour into greased 9x13 pan. Bake 350 degrees F for 25 minutes.

Results:
We made these in her microwave that is also an oven. Preheats really fast and is big enough for a 9x13 pan to rotate!

Taking them to Sukkot service tonight, so we shall see how they are received. UPDATE: The middle ones are DELICIOUS, but gooey, so we didn't take them all. Darn, we'll have to eat them ourselves. Of what we did take, there was only one left.

Jonah 1:2

2008-10-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

Here are my notes on the next verse:

"Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me."
Jonah 1:2

Noticed "arise" (Pastor's wife mentioned verbs like this being something to notice :0)

What does Nineveh mean? Found this at studylight.org

Nineveh = "abode of Ninus" Definition: Capital of the ancient kingdom of Assyria; located on the east bank of the Tigris river, 550 miles (880 km) from its mouth and 250 miles (400 km) north of Babylon

Who is Ninus?

According to Wikipedia "he does not seem to represent any one personage known to modern history, and is more likely a conflation of several real and/or fictional figures of antiquity, as seen to the Greeks through the mists of time...He has sometimes been thought to be connected with the figure identified in the Torah as Nimrod the hunter", son of Cush (see Genesis 10:6-12). In some interpretations of the Hebrew text of Genesis 10, it is Nimrod who founded Nineveh, but this too is ambiguous: other translators render the same Torah verse as naming Ashur, son of Shem as the founder of Nineveh."

Where is Nineveh? Found it on this map and this map. Wow, Ninevah is quite a way from Joppa. Wonder how long it took Jonah to get there? It would help to know where the fish threw him up!

How big was it at the time? Well, it was the capital of Assiriya, so couldn't have been small.

Do we know what their evil was? Nineveh is mentioned 11 times outside the book of Jonah. Genesis 10:11, 12; 2 Kings 19:36, Isaiah 37:37, Nahum 1:1; 2:8; 3:7, Zephaniah 2:13, Matthew 12:41, Luke 11:30, 32. Nahum was a prophet to Nineveh, but a century later and not with the same results as Jonah. I gather, from what I've read, that being against God's Holy Nation, Israel, did not put them on His blessing side. I'm not sure what they were doing during Jonah's time, but Nahum shows them being very violent and enticing people (I'm assuming Israel) away as a prostitute would. Nahum 1:11 says "From you came one who plotted evil against the LORD..." 3:1 "...bloody city, all full of lies and plunder - no end to the prey!" 3:3 "...dead bodies without end..." So, I'm guessing their original sin was similar, although their heart purer as they repented after Jonah, but not after Nahum.

What does it mean for their evil to come up before Him? From the following verses, I deduce it simply means their ways are known to HaShem, they have made their evil ways known in the presence of the Lord. The verses:

"Vashti is never again to come before King Ahasuerus." Esther 1:19
"Let my cry come before you, O LORD" Psalms 119:169
"When you come to appear before me, who has required of you this trampling of my courts?" Isa 1:12

Of course, Proverbs 15:3 says "the eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good," so He always knows what we are doing. On one hand, Jonah 4:2 shows that HaShem is "a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and relenting from disaster." On the other hand, Nahum 1:3 reminds us that "the LORD is slow to anger and great in power, and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty." He is patient, but He is just and avenging and will not let evil prevail forever.

Meals: Beet Green Gratin

2008-10-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

My Favorite found this recipe, I think, last year. We ate it so many times in a row we didn't like it anymore. But I thought we might give it a try again. It's all about grace isn't it? Even for those poor beet greens. This is Alton Brown's recipe, a family favorite (the show/chef, not necessarily the dish).

(before mixed or in pan)

Beet Green Gratin

Ingredients
1 tablespoon butter
12 ounces sliced mushrooms
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound beet greens, cleaned and picked
Kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper
4 egg yolks, beaten
1 cups ricotta
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup crumbled crackers (recommended: Ritz crackers)

Directions
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add the mushrooms and garlic and sweat. Add the beet greens and mix well. Remove pan from heat. Season with salt and pepper.
In a separate bowl, combine the egg yolks, ricotta, Parmesan cheese, and salt. Combine everything and put into a lightly oiled 9 by 11-inch baking dish. Top with the crumbled crackers and bake for 30 minutes covered. Uncover and bake for an additional 15 minutes.

I couldn't remember what it meant to sweat the veggies, so here is what I found:

Sweating means to cook vegetables in a fat without them turning brown. With high heat, vegetables began to carmalize and turn brown. This mean that the heat is releasing the sugars within the vegetables. The heat has to be rather high to do this. Sweating is done on a very low heat and does not cause the sugars to be released.

Step #1 Add oil or butter to a sauce pan. Add the vegtables.

Step #2 COVER WITH A LID. Turn on a very low heat and let the vegetables cook without turning brown. If you notice them browning, then lower the heat even more. They will cook completely through and release their flavors into whatever you are cooking. Onions and celery will become soft and translucent when done. Carrots will become soft.

Results:
Really this is a very easy recipe. I got it all done while Teeny and My Favorite were at the store. It does take a while to bake, but as long as you don't have my lack-of-time-organization issues, it is great. Teeny ate the mushrooms out of hers, until she accidentally got some beet greens... what a lemon face! I liked it, so grace wins again. Doesn't reheat pretty, but I ate two servings just now and num!

Improvements:

The recipe doesn't mention the stems, in or out. I would definitely advise o-u-t, they are really bitter. And I needed way more crackers to cover the dish then suggested.

Meals: Pot Roast

2008-10-13T15:07:00.000-07:00

Like I mentioned in the previous post, we eat mostly vegetarian dishes. A year and a half after Teeny Tiny started eating solids, and we are having to rethink that conviction. Why? She hasn't eaten a dinner I have made EVER. Outside of pancakes or eggs, and the odd black bean and sesame spinach salad (huh? Yeah, I don't get it) I made once. That is, until last Shabbat.

(from veggiemealplans.com a really creative site)

I had some chard to use up. I don't like chard, but I wanted to give it another chance. But all the recipes I had were for side dishes, and I had Beet Green Gratin planned for dinner. Beet greens with a side of chard? Yuck.

(from foodblogga.blogspot.com, don't know anything about it)

My Favorite suggested I cook one of the roasts we had just recently received from his side of the family. They got a half a cow sometime last year, and were kind enough to share with us when we realized Teeny needed to eat something more then quesadillas.

So I made a roast. I had to chop off 3 corners of it to get it in the dutch oven I have (from my wonderful MIL), but I got it in, all by myself. Praise God for serated knives.

Here's the recipe, if it can be considered that:

The "Thank You Nor" Roast

Cook time: 3 hours

Ingredients
Roast
Water
Worcestershire sauce
Seasoning (I used Jonny's)
Veggies, cut up (We had potatoes and carrots)

Directions
Set oven on 350 degrees.Take roast out of freezer 3 hours and 5 minutes before you want dinner done. Cover bottom of dutch oven with 1 inch water (don't measure, just guess). Place roast in dutch oven, still frozen. If it doesn't fit, cut off some pieces and throw them in too. Watch out for bones. Douse roast with Worcestershire sauce (pronounced worst-eh-shire around here) to keep the seasoning on. Add as much seasoning as you'd like. Once oven is heated up, put the roast in and set timer for 2 hours.

Prep your veggies while you wait if you haven't already. (We used some very small potatoes, some which didn't get cut up they were small enough. Carrots were pretty small too, so those went straight in, skin and all) When 2 hours is up, pull dutch oven out, take lid off and dump veggies in. There will be a lot more water now because your roast was frozen. Place covered roast back in the oven and set timer for 1 hour more. Eat and enjoy. Save bones for The Pup.

Results:
Delicious! All of it, meat and veggies. The meat was moist and I thought it had enough seasoning. Veggies were done perfectly, the carrots were even sweet (more the farm's doing then ours). My MIL was over and she didn't spit it out. And yes, even Teeny Tiny ate it. Challah was higher on her list of things to love about dinner but, she ate!

I don't know how big the roast was, but it looked huge and fed 3 adults and one picky eater with plenty left over for another meal.

Improvements:
Can't think of any, it really worked well. The side dish of chard went in the garbage though. Yuck.

Meals: The Background Story

2008-10-13T14:59:00.001-07:00

I don't have a lot of confidence in my cooking abilities. Part of that is I haven't done much. Before Teeny Tiny was born, My Favorite did all the cooking. When she was a year old, God blessed him with a new job, and I started my cooking career. At the same time, we also felt convicted to eat a vegetarian diet as often as possible (something we are still figuring out since Teeny Tiny is obviously a carnivore and dislikes "wapables" of any kind). So any previous cooking experience I had, which wasn't much, wasn't very helpful.

The other part is I have a fear of failure. I want it to work the right way, the first time, and for it to be something people (ie. my family) likes. And I'm slow. But I want to overcome this. I know learning is a process, with lots of trial and error, and I don't want to pass on my throw-in-the-towel, stomp-my-feet attitude to my girls when something goes slightly amiss.

So I thought maybe it would help to chronicle my trials and errors here, so I can improve and see that I'm improving. We shall see!

Look in the Hebrew

2008-10-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

Lord, I thank You that You, the King of the universe, would offer me such connections and teachings that lay in Your word and eyes to see its deep richness.

Here is the verse I was reading today:

My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.
When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you.
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
to preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.
Proverbs 6:20-24

Here it is again, with the word "commandment" and "teaching" written, and marked in orange, as they are in Hebrew, "mitzvah" and "Torah" respectively. Also, I saw in the notes of my English Standard Version that the word "them" is actually "it" in Hebrew. (green explained later)

"My son, keep your father’s mitzvah,
and forsake not your mother’s torah.
Bind it on your heart always;
tie it around your neck.
When you walk, it will lead you;
when you lie down, it will watch over you;
and when you awake, it will talk with you.
For the mitzvah is a lamp and the torah a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
to preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress."
Proverbs 6:20-24

I love this! King Solomon (if this is his proverb) is telling his son, or HaShem is telling us, to hold tightly to His word. And anyone who is familiar with the Shema probably has noticed this before, but the green marks out the spots that show the author of this Proverb was probably quoting Deuteronomy 6:4-9. See below ("awake" in proverbs is sometimes translated "rise"):

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9

As a mama, this reminds me that if I teach my children Torah, God's word and ways, then His word will be with them always. As Yeshua is the living word, He will lead them, He will watch over them, and He will talk with them. Even when I can't. Even better then I can. What an awesome God we serve!

He is the Light of the world

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world." John 8:12

The Torah of the world

"For the mitzvah is a lamp and the torah a light." Proverbs 6:23

He is the Torah, the Word

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1

The Word is living...

"For the word of God is living and active." Hebrews 4:12

...so He is living and walking and guiding and teaching

Yom Kippur and His provision

2008-10-09T14:57:00.000-07:00

The economy took another huge dive today. I wouldn't have known except my ever diligent husband pays attention to these things. I feel like I am doing well in trusting HaShem, vs. worrying. My brain is, however, trying to figure out if there is anything I can do right now, as well as imagine what the future brings. My friend and I came up with a stress-relieving plan that we agreed not to tell our husbands until things were REALLY bad. Hehehe, praise HaShem for friends!

Anyway, in looking for the meaning of Jonah's name, I came across this paragraph on a site for an English speaking Israeli radio show. I have not looked at the site at all, but this paragraph was a great reminder in light of the times:

This Yom Kippur, as we stand in synagogue in fasting and prayer for this next year, let us not look to presidents, friends or allies to protect us. Let us take our eyes away from the White House, the International Community, or the Knesset to save us. Instead, let us look UP. To the only ONE, the Master of the Universe, the only one who we can trust in, the only one who has, and can, save us.
May we gird ourselves with the knowledge and strength that G-d is there, if only we call upon Him, and may we not feel defeatism. May we gird ourselves with trust, not fear. Truth, not convenient lies. May we appoint G-d, the KING of all kings, over us. And may we walk in righteousness to do His will, bring justice to this world, and improve our ways on the personal and more general levels. from here

Jonah 1:1

2008-10-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

The moms' group I attend at a local church (not Messianic) started going through the book of Jonah today. Which is a fun thing really, because today is Yom Kippur and Jonah is the traditional book read this day. HaShem even gave me the strength to bring that bit of knowledge up during the meeting. (I get sweaty-nervous to bring up Messianic things, or anything that my brain feels will be controversial. I had to pray for HaShem to provide an opening, and He did! As always! And they didn't throw me out!)

Anyway, the pastor's wife challenged us to go verse by verse and write out our observations. So here we go! Some of the questions below she brought up while explaining what she did when she went through it. This might get updated as I find the answers to my questions.

"Now the word of the LORD came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying..."
Jonah 1:1

How did the word come to Jonah? It came in "saying" form, so to me that implies some audible form. She wondered, so now do I, if this was the first time Jonah was given a word from HaShem?

The name of HaShem is, in the English, written as LORD. I know a bit about this, but good to note. This is capitalized because it is, in Hebrew, the actual name of God. This is the name of God the Jews chose never to say in order avoid useing His name in an unholy way. It is not made of the English letters YHWH, but the Hebrew letters yod, hei, vod and another hei. Go here to see what those letters can look like.

What does Jonah mean? All I can find right now is "dove" but I'm sure there is more depth to it.

Who is Amittai? In my very brief google search, I found nothing more then the two places Jonah is mentioned in scripture. Jonah 1:1 and 2 Kings 14:25.

We shall see how many verses I get through before the next meeting! I'd be willing to bet this is the only post I do on it :0) Let us pray it isn't so.

Note: When I took His open door moment to mention that this is the book traditionally read on Yom Kippur, someone immediately came back with the question, "Why?" I was thinking about that as I wrote this, and realized that I simply answered. I am not entirely sure what I said, and I can't remember even looking at her. Baruch HaShem for His provision of words!

Does anyone have any more insite? I love input and tolearate correction :0)

So dissapointing

2008-10-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

I am so frustrated by this! Maybe if I write it out I won't struggle with it as much.

I love reading. I could do it all day and I can do it fast. I don't see words, but pictures in my mind. That is, until I get to scripture.
*

Suddenly, I find myself skipping over the scripture verse to get to the author's thoughts on it. Not good! What they say means nothing, but God's word - everything! (although the post used above is quite nice)

I have to physically force myself to read each word, and go back and start again if my mind's eye glasses over. And I love His word! And I don't know it nearly as well as I could if I had read all those passages instead of skipping them. ARrrgh!

* Thanks Tavita's Purse for the blog to take a screen shot of :0) I was reading this wonderful post when I finally got fed up with this struggle of mine.

No time!

2008-10-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

I didn't start being a housewife, as in taking care of our home, until I had been married 2 years and had a 1 month old daughter. So I've had to learn a lot these last two years, and I constantly feel behind. Behind what I'm not sure, but behind something that is ahead of me and driving me crazy!

I am also very slow. It seems to take me longer then most to do even simple things. Part of it is what I grew up around, I think, and part of it is my day dream mindset. I find myself changing a diaper and I can't tell you how long I was standing there doing it.

Which all translates to me not getting much done. Or feeling like i'm not getting much done. So there are not a lot of posts here. But in the scheme of getting the things done HaShem has for me to do in a day, that might not be a bad thing!

Rosh HaShanah 2008

2008-10-04T16:30:00.000-07:00

This was the first Rosh HaShanah, or Yom Teruah, that I tried to do something with Teeny Tiny and our little family. Nothing worked the way I hoped. Nothing ever does, so I'm not sure why I was so surprised. But there were some fun moments too, not to get too Eeyore about it.

The day before our Trumpet festival I set up our new learning poster (more later) with its new theme: Rosh Hashana! The letter of the week was R, the shape an apple, the color gold, the foreign word shofar. I had fun coloring the R and the apple gold, hehehe. The little pleasures in life. Anyway, Teeny Tiny thought it was fun enough. Shofar comes out sounding like "so-far" which is pretty darling.

As far as activities, we tried reading the two books I found our library had, but they were just a bit too old for her. Then I saw this cool idea to use an apple as a stamp for Rosh Hashana cards. Cool for someone older then 2. I had thought it would be fun to give to our home group family. She thought it was fun to dip the apple in paint and use it as a paint brush though, so really it was a hit, just not what I expected.I had hoped My Favorite would be able to take the day off as a sabbath, but having just been gone for 3 days the week before (1 for work) and leaving for a conference this coming week, that wasn't possible. So that left me looking at driving 1/2 hour by myself on little sleep with a 2 year old and a 7 week old. A bit daunting, but I so wanted to go! I hadn't ever been.

The day of, a Tuesday, I set my mind that not only did I want to go, I needed to take me and my oldest daughter. In case nothing else happened related to Rosh HaShanah, and because holding a holy convocation is part of keeping HaShem's festival. So we went, and it was a success. Without the help of almost everyone at the service, it would have been a disaster. What a wonderful group! But when they brought out the "so-fars" Teeny Tiny looked at me all excited and whispered "So-far! In my room!" (the poster had a pic of a shofar). Hey, we learned something! I totally didn't get to concentrate on the liturgy at all, but my little girl connected on some level. And I ate two plates full of food at Oneg, plus dessert. Nursing makes me HUNGRY!

I also had it in my head to make this apple cake that I'd run across. We weren't able to have the festival dinner as a family that I hoped, but Teeny and I did make the cake together. Which almost made us late to the house we had dinner at. But it turned out pretty good. We just finished it up for Shabbat breakfast this morning *grin*

Organized thoughts

2008-09-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

We are going to be going through Proverbs 31 this week, so here is a quick rundown of what it spoke to me after reading it today:

Favorite verse:

"Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come."
Proverbs 31:25

She is organized, eager to work at what God has given her, which allows her to take care of not only her husband, children and workers, but also anyone in need. It allows her to rest in God's provision, knowing she has done her part of His plan, that she is a piece (not the whole) of His provision for their clothing, their food, their shelter, their future. "She laughs at the time to come" because she knows she has done everything required of her and that the rest is in God's hands.

This Pregnancy

2008-08-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

This is my 2nd pregnancy, and God has really had me deal with some issues this time. Not sure why, except that as followers of Him, we sign up for the refining process, and every day is an opportunity for that.

I was really nasty, well still am, emotional wise this time. I have not enjoyed it. I don't always or ever know what to do with all the feelings that hit. It is very difficult to figure out when my reaction to something is hormonally enhanced. When I think "This hurts," would I normally be able to blow it off, or deal with it appropriately? And since peace, patience and kindness are things His disciples ought to have, how do I take control of how I am feeling whether or not I am emotionally sideswiped? Shouldn't matter. There is a way I should act.

So that is an issue I am still dealing with, and assume that I will always deal with to a point. But I am thankful for two things: One, that He has given me a desire to not be controlled by my feelings and to see that it isn't something I want; Two, that He has blessed me with a husband who is willing to help me when I can't figure out how to act and is willing to help me, patiently, learn this. HaShem, please give him Your strength.

The other issue is trust. I have seriously struggled with this from day one. At first, it was the health of the baby. So many women around me have lost their babies either right before we got pregnant, or during. I struggled so bad for a while there. The kind of struggle where Satan seems to have invaded every thought and you can't even bring yourself to pray. But God gave me the strength to ask for prayer, and 2 days before our ultrasound, His peace drove that ugly voice out. I am thankful that I knew He was in control and was at peace with that before seeing the ultrasound and the "proof" that brings.

I can't say I've been great in trusting my baby to Him. Just this morning I couldn't get her to move and was on the verge of really panicking. But a combination of a wonderful husband and having faced it a little at the beggining... oh and her moving, made it easier to come out of.

I am overdue. Since I am going for a VBAC, my Dr. has said since the beggining that she would only "allow" me 1 week past my due date. So I've been praying since the beggining that this little one would come before or on her due date. The closer it got, the more freaked out I got. One night, I finally said outloud that while I knew He was in control, what bothered me was that I wasn't trusting Him. I just wasn't. That wonderful husband just held me and said, "Then trust Him." Which normally would be fairly irritating, but this time that peace, that quiet feeling just invaded my thoughts and I felt like I might have the ability to hand over my fear to Him.

I've never felt that before. And as this morning shows, I'm still not there. But I did it in one moment, and that is a start. I have that knowledge to hang onto each time I start to doubt.

Oh, and while I am overdue, my Dr. is apparently going to give me till I am almost 2 weeks overdue. So at this moment, I can let go of the fear of how to handle what the medical field wants to do. I can simply wait for this baby. Now, I wouldn't mind her coming tonight... but I am truly thankful for that realease of pressure.

To the Awesome Creator of the Universe, who knit both this baby in my womb and my womb, I give my thanks. May the peace You have given me through these situations come to me more quickly each time doubt tries to steal my joy. Thank you for Your steadfast love, patience, and gift of my husband.

Thoughts on John

2008-07-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

"And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen."
John 2:15

This is where Yeshua throws everyone out of the temple and the disciples remember that it is said "Zeal for your house will consume me." (see John 2:17 quoting Psalm 69:9) What caught my eye as I read it today was that His wrath and anger at the money changers and vendors wasn't an instant reaction. He had to go away and make a whip before coming back to drive them out. Being God, He must have already known they were there but still took the time to go in, see them, make the whip, and then drive them out. That is not how my anger works. Something more to work on!

"But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people 25and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man."
John 2:24-25

No ordinary man, or a man with an exceptional relationship with HaShem would be able to say "he knew all people." Only HaShem knows the heart of each and every one of us. Who is Yeshua? God! And Lord and Messiah. (or "Siah" as Teeny Tiny says)

Spiritual Warfare

2008-07-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12

A friend of ours is always harping on needing to practice Spiritual Warfare. I have seen a lot of different ideas of what this means, and tend to be very wary of things titled with "spiritual." So I finally asked her what she meant. Prayer, fasting and, as Yeshua did, quoting HaShem's word at Satan when He tries to destroy us or those around us. Now that I can get behind! That, my friends, has power, the power of the King.

Which is a good reminder to continue to memorize those scriptures I was working on. I was reading Families Against Feminism's archives last night, and though I can't find it now, she mentioned building our children up with scripture. When you see them taking care of one another, quote scripture. Remind them that they are doing God's work. But if I don't have anything hidden away in my own heart, that becomes very difficult.

Of course, just getting the idea out is important, but I find that if I can't quote the scripture as closely as possible to it's English version, I stumble and feel inadequate and then don't say anything. Something more to work on.

But if I don't prepare myself for war, how can I pass the sword onto my children?

Update: I still haven't come across the post I mentioned above, but here is another one from Families Against Feminism that goes along with passing the sword.

My Time, My Servants

2008-06-30T06:33:00.000-07:00

In the book, The Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free" the author says that "Years ago, [she] read that the average woman today has the equivalent of fifty full-time servants, in the form of modern, timesaving devices and equipment." Since reading that, every time I get overwhelmed with my to-do list, I think of that. (and I'd love to say it helps me have better perspective, but it is starting to.)

Lets look at my servants. I have someone to:

Bring water in the house for cleaning, dishes, cooking, laundry, drinking - the plumbing system
Tend my garden, chickens, make my butter and bread, milk my cows - grocery store and their suppliers
Wash my clothes - washer and dryer
Keep my food preserved, cold, dry - again, food suppliers, fridge, freezer, modern home
Keep my family warm or cool - heating system, portable fans
Stoke my oven - electric stove
Tend to my transportation - car

I am sure there are more I'll need to add. I don't have to have animals, I don't have to can (but do), don't have to bake bread, milk cows, churn butter, make cheese, till a garden, protect produce, have an orchard, cut trees, stack wood, make candles, find oil for lamps, wait for the right weather to travel, make my own music, or clothes, or toys. I have everything I could ever want to learn at my fingertips, I can stay up as late as I'd like thanks to electricity. And yet, I complain about no time!

And I thought the Israelites were whiny. Shame on me.

Chukat - Numbers 19:1-22:1

2008-06-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

"And they assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron. And the people quarreled with Moses and said, "Would that we had perished when our brothers perished before the LORD! Why have you brought the assembly of the LORD into this wilderness, that we should die here, both we and our cattle? And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is no place for grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, and there is no water to drink."' Numbers 19:2-5

This is one of the particularly whiny sections of Torah. There are many. And at first I always think, "Come on people! All those miracles and you think HaShem will let you die for lack of water?!" And then I think, oh yeah, I'd whine too. Too rainy, too hot, too cold, too boring....Why?! And I am a particularly whiny disciple of Yeshua. I don't like it, it doesn't fit His image at all.

Then comes the striking the rock bit:

"Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?" And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice..." Numbers 19:10-11

I could see myself doing this too. I'd like not to think of myself as an angry person, but man, when I am irritated, as I am sure Moses was at this point of hundreds of continually complaining people, I can throw some fits I am not proud of. My dog ducks and hides, poor thing. Ugly. So anyway, I can imagine the sudden wrath that filled Moses and that he reacted to so inappropriatly. Which means the consequences he paid for that moment just make me cringe. What have I missed out on, or will miss out on because of allowing my temper to control me instead of the other way around? Please forgive me Lord!

God Hears, God Answers

2008-06-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

I am still working on memorizing verses to use against the lies Satan typically throws at me. Today I was looking at Isaiah 46:10, which is part of a verse. You know how much I love part of a verse! So I opened the whole chapter. God's word is so AWESOME!

The whole chapter is God asking Israel who they would like to compare Him to. The idols they make with their hands? Are they sure? Here is how He compares to them:

The images (idols) of their gods are carried on oxen (v. 1)
God carries His people from womb to their gray haired days (v. 4)
Their gods can't save the burden, going into captivity as the people do (v. 2)
God bears, carries and saves His burden (v. 4)
They hire men to make their gods (v. 6)
God is the one who made His people (v. 4)
Their idols cannot move from where they are placed (v. 7)
God promises His salvation will come to them, He will place it among them (v. 13)
Their idols cannot hear their cries (v. 7)
God hears and answers (chapter 46)

Isn't that amazing? The most amazing part to me is that the Israelites were calling out to these idols, who couldn't hear them and God heard them and God answered. His steadfast love endures forever, amen.

Flying fish

2008-06-21T15:43:00.000-07:00

Found this lost in my drafts:

I wanted to try something else out of the Toddler Busy Book the other day, so planned on doing the Flying Fish on pg. 70. It turned out to be really nice here, and that is technically an inside activity. But I took it outside anyway.

The fish are made out of a simple strip of magazine with slits cut in them so they fit together. I wasn't really sure what they did, but it was actually neat. When you drop them, they spin to the ground. Teeny Tiny liked the idea of fish, but after dropping them a few times was more then done with the game.

I will try this again though. I'd like to try it inside, maybe when she is older/taller to see if that helps. And possibly with another kid around, I think that would make it more exciting. Another attempt though!

Being Purposeful: Activities

2008-06-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

There are all these crafts and activities out there, and Teeny Tiny is JUST now getting to like some. Or, I’m just getting to actually using them age appropriately I guess.

Since I started “the routine” we have done the following:

Coloring: she just started liking this. Prefers pens. It is great for working on her colors which she has recently become an “expert” at. “Brounce” and “llelo” are my favorite.

Cutting/Gluing: We made a little book. Very rough, but she loved it. She needed lots of help with the cutting and gluing. Every skill starts somewhere.

Chalk: Sidewalk chalk used outside when it is nice enough. Today, tried to get her to color on rocks. Not there yet.

Fort: I took The Toddler’s Busy Book’s advice and made a tent out of 4 chairs and the fitted sheet on her bed when I took it off to wash it. Not a huge hit, but we played in it and read some books. A few moments of fun is fine by me, or at least I’m working on it being so :0) [The Toddler Busy Book by Trish Kuffner]

Magnets: A bag activity I recently made. She kinda likes it, or at least enjoyed putting the stuff back in the bag.

Sorting (sort of): I had a bunch of flat marbles from flowers My Favorite gave me a very long time ago. Put them in a cottage cheese container with some applesauce cups and voila! Something to play with for a few minutes anyway.

Pull Box: from The Toddlers Busy Book again (pg. 55). Just a plain box with string threaded through a hole to pull around. We took it outside and it has a few rocks and a bug-house in it.

Animal Shapes: I looked up animal shapes in google, freehanded a cat and teddy bear from that, and cut them out. Old style die cuts. Teeny and The Cousin enjoyed coloring on them. Or at least The Cousin did, Teeny was content with the paper I put under the animal to keep ink off the booster tray. Taken from Kids Craft Weekly’s article “No Fuss Craft Ideas.”

Songs: We've listened to Wee Sing Bible Songs from the library, and on YouTube found videos of "Slippery Fish" and "I am a Pizza" by Charlotte Diamond, and a random "Apples and Bananas." "Baa Baa Black Sheep" is a new favorite as well. Now she is singing some of these when she is on her own. No one but My Favorite and I can tell what she was saying, but it is adorable! Songs are great for in the car and potty training. I'm also looking for the real signs for some words, just to add action and learning all at the same time.

Being Purposeful: A Routine

2008-06-18T21:27:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have been really disappointed with my feelings towards “being interrupted” during the day. I don’t want to be like that! I want my kids to come first on my to-do list. I find it difficult since I just started keeping house since Teeny was born. So I’m trying to organize better, to schedule better, to be purposeful with my time and I’m finding my internal feelings are more peaceful then irritated. Praise HaShem!

My first inspiration was a post titled “How to survive summer!” from Five…Under…Foot, a blog I came across in some random blog reading rabbit trail. In it, she gives her summer schedule, and I thought it was worth a try. Here is how I tweaked it for us (to be thrown out when baby comes I’m sure!):

Routine:  

6:30 Mom up, shower, dress, read word, daily chores if possible

7:30/8:00 Teeny Tiny up, start morning routine

9:00 meet at kitchen table, scripture and prayer, and discuss day’s events, then free play if no errands   (so far, I basically just make sure we are on track for the day)

10:00 Activity/play together

10:30 SNACK

11:00 free play   

12:00 lunch and daily chores

1:00 Nap (sometimes we don’t make it to 1:00)

2:00 SNACK (if she’s awake)

2:30 free play together

4:00 movie time, mom preps dinner, (COOKS if have evening activity)

5:00 De-clutter house, mom makes dinner, (EAT if have evening activity)

5:30 Dinner, Feed dog, (LEAVE if have evening activity)

6:00 KP (EVERYONE does this)  

6:30 family time

8:00 prep for/go to bed

I have to be careful with this though. Although I feel much more purposeful with my time when I have a schedule, I am very apt to get irritated if things “mess up” my day. So I’ve got to have a balance here. So far, so good. Having the bold hours be the anchors as she mentioned helps me feel okay about everything else being crazy :0)

NEXT: Activities

Love...is it God?

2008-06-17T07:16:00.000-07:00

NOTE: The verses I quote here are from the NIV because I didn't notice what Bible Gateway was using.

I grew up in the Christian Science Church. One of their favorite verses is "God is love." I can still see it painted on the sunday school wall. I couldn't remember if it was an actual verse, although it seems accurate. He is either love or not love, and I'd side with love...

But it is a section of HaShem's word:

"...God is love." 1 John 4:8b

Yeah, 8b. Here is the "rest of the story:"

"This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God... Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:2-3, 7-10

God is love, it is true. But that means HE defines love, not the world around us. His definition of love required a physical sacrifice in this world. Anyone who denies that Messiah actually came into a physical world to live, die then rise again as a sacrifice for our sin, does not know HaShem or the real meaning of love. No matter how much "love" they pour out into the world.

The big thing these days, and probably since centuries past, is to "love each other" to "tolerate." So it was nice that John also included this point in his letter: "They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. 1 John 4:5-6 The world can go ahead and define love however they want, but no amount of using scripture out of context will get anyone into heaven.

I think this next section is the "God is love" verse the CSC prefers, because "perfect love drives out fear" is another favorite:

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:16-18

What is it to "live in love" then? A few verses earlier in the passage:

"We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." 1 John 4:13-16

A person "lives in love" when, and only when he lives in God. Proof that a person "live[s] in God?" His love for his brother along with his acknowledgment of Yeshua's unique relationship to HaShem, as well as HaShem's literal sending of a physical Yeshua to literally die in atonement or payment for our sins. (in case you don't know, this physical world is not a belief of the CSC, nor is the diety of Messiah)

My conviction from this book: I don't act like HaShem has forgiven me.

I get irritated easily and I have been working/remembering to pray to figure out why, while also working on not showing that irritation whether I find "the reason" or not. I think, though, that at least a part of it is that I get irritated when I bring to mind the things a person did that irritated or hurt me before. Not a sign of forgiveness. I can't change them, but with HaShem, I can change myself. Argh.

Observation

2008-06-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

Apparently Teeny is done with naps. Or at least close. I'm really struggling with what that means for my day, especially with a new one on the way. I know God doesn't give more then I can handle, it is just figuring out what of the billion things on my to-do list are things He really wants me to do. As it is, I barely get everything done in a day that is just basic. But His grace is sufficient, so my prayer is that my family can extend some of that grace too. Because I have no idea what I am doing.

After 2 hours of no napping today, I went in with some books. I thought we would read a verse or two of scripture, then some books and see what happened from there. We made it through 1 verse, barley, and 1/2 way through the first book. Then she started flipping the pages backword instead of forward. So I let her have the book. She played with it for a while, then got down and found a ball. She threw the ball on the bed, got up, threw it off, got off, danced in a circle, started all over again. She wasn't interested in me playing, but I suspected all play would end if I left...

Okay, I didn't finish writing down my observations. But HaShem gave me some insight yesterday that I am eager to try out. I was sitting at the park when He brought to my mind that my niece did this "I don't need a nap thing" for a while. Something we thought back then was my niece needed more to do, or needed to use more energy.

Day one at the park and Teeny was out like a light. Hmm, we've got some work to do for this little brain! Here's to trying.

Memorizing

2008-06-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

I have almost finished the book "The Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free" by Nancy DeMoss. Very good, in the face of your favorite lies book. I highly recommend it, but only if you are willing to look at what God reveals to you as you do. Am I willing? Well, I'm trying to be so!

The last chapter goes through different verses to have tucked away to demolish the lies Satan often throws at us, that we often believe. I have 3 memorized so far, I even typed them out without looking :0)

"You are good and do good, teach me your statutes" Psalm 119:68

"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever" Psalm 136:1

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Messiah Yeshua (Christ Jesus) our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Sleep deprived

2008-06-09T13:44:00.000-07:00

This is day number 2 of Teeny Tiny doing everything she can to keep herself up.

Yesterday, it was nap time and bedtime. She won with nap-time, because it simply got too late to bother. She was miserable by bedtime. So sad! She was crying so hard My Favorite finally, and kindly lay down next to her and held her still while rubbing her head.

Today, we are 1 1/2 hours into nap-time. She has no pants (she took those off beforehand), no socks (she also took those off and was playing), no stuffed animal, no blankets (she had two) and no pillow. I had to get the heater out of the garage because it is something like 57 degrees out in JUNE. With nothing to play with, she ought to go to sleep, right? Nope! There are the bars of the bed and the ever present feet. And as long as you roll from one end to the other, you can't fall asleep.

This is to document our fun experience to see how long it lasts and what we do about it. Right now we are just letting her stay there until the time she normally gets up. She looks so, so tired. I am thankful that today I am not getting that sick "things aren't going my way" feeling, I have much more peace. Nervous that this might take a long time? Yeah. Sad to see her all curled up on a empty mattress? So sad! But oh well!

Revelation of a wife

2008-06-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

Being a wife is a lot more detailed then I ever thought. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE being My Favorite's wife. Love love love it. Love doesn't even come close, I can feel in my soul that this is what I was created for.

But sometimes the little things that make up that role get the better of me. By nature, or fall, I am lazy, whiny, given to listening to the lies in my head, and prefer often to be served rather than serve. Yucky. I praise HaShem that the desire of my heart as far as my job as wife/mama is growing more and more to be like His. My actions, they need some help. But my understanding and desire are driving me in another direction.

What I keep thinking these last couple days is that in all the classes I have taken and all the jobs I have had, one of my favorite things was to know what was expected of me and to fulfill, if not try to exceed, those job duties/objectives. And a conclusion I came to at my last job was I do like to be in charge of things, to have a voice, but I don't want or do well with all the responsibility. I like to be a helper. Hmm, does that sound familiar?!

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him... But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him... And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man." Genesis 2:18, 20, 22

How awesome is that! Why it took a lot of jobs and classes to get me to that conclusion when it is stated clearly in His word, only God knows. But what a joy to know that. Now I pray, Lord, that you would help me remember the love I have for the role you gave me and apply that joy to being a wife and mama, ever step of the way.

My Role Part 7

2008-06-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." Proverbs 29:15

I have seen this as true. No matter how you feel about spanking, very few people will say a kid without discipline is a wonderful person to be around.

Definition of reproof: an act or expression of criticism, rebuke

Leaving a kid to fend for him/herself, to figure out what is right and wrong, how to be polite, respectful, and to know that the world doesn't revolve around them, not a good idea. Easier in the moment sometimes, but in the long run, the whole world suffers for our laziness.

Spanking for everything with no reason given, not so good. "Because I said so," works for a moment in time, but not for learning. But a swat when appropriate and talking to your kids about what they are doing and why you want them to do something else, that brings wisdom.

Figuring out what each kid needs to learn how to obey: priceless. As in, I would pay anything to have someone tell me, but that isn't how HaShem designed it. Prayer? Oh, yeah, that probably would be good :0)

One thing I've learned over and over in my 21 months of motherhood is this: They get it eventually. So why don't I remember that in the moment? Why to I freak out like she is purposfully not obeying me? Hello?! She's not even 2! And that is where the fun begins. 3 is where it ends... oh, I mean, um. Yeah. Prayer.

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Still Potty Training

2008-06-06T11:18:00.001-07:00

So, since we took that 2 week break, we haven't had to change a poopy anything except for a few times. Most of those were either a mistake on my part (not understanding) or like the other day when she had just gone, and suddenly had to go again. We didn't make it that time. It is moments like that when I am reminded how blessed I am to not be doing this parenting thing alone. Praise HaShem for My Favorite and his willingness to be a part of this!

Pee is a whole 'nother ball game though. Teeny Tiny could care less if she is wet. At church last Shabbat she didn't go in her diaper the whole time. But from then on, it didn't matter. I wonder if she reacts to diapers more then wet pants. Doesn't make sense, but, hmm.

Hehehe, if only you could see her face every time she goes on the potty. She is shocked! Not scared, but her head snaps up and her mouth makes an o. "Potty mama!" and then anyone else who is within a block radius.

My Role Part 6

2008-06-06T11:07:00.000-07:00

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Colossians 3:20

This is obviously a reiteration of Exodus 20:12 (see below), honor your father and mother. But it includes an important aspect that is implied in original “IN EVERYTHING.” Not just in the things you feel like it, not just in the things they insist on, but everything. I have not done nor do I do this.

At first glance, this doesn’t seem like a verse for the role of a wife. It is directed at my children right? But of course, to teach God’s word to my children when I am at home or on the way, I need to do the same. Because I am the child of my parents. And they are still very actively a part of our lives.

Now, obeying/honoring my parents looks a little different now then it should have when I was not married. My God and My Favorite come first, and in that order. But if I don’t honor my parents around our kids, how are Teeny Tiny and Baby #2 supposed to know what it looks like?
Problem is, I don’t know what it looks like either. I know what it isn’t, and I have that down pat. But I am not sure exactly how to do the honoring. Here are a couple of reasons/excuses:

• My parents are not believers
• My parents drive me crazy
• My parents and I have some history that I really struggle with
• My parents, or being around them, stir up emotions for reasons I don’t know
• My parents drive me crazy

Mostly excuses. I do feel like in their presence I honor them, although that can always use some serious work. But once we pull out of the driveway, yeah, I am failing miserably at this. And it has bothered me since the day Teeny Tiny was born. And yet, I do nothing but whine and complain and judge.

The rest of the verses that connect with Colossians 3:20:

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

"'Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD is giving you.” Deuteronomy 5:16

“For God commanded, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.'” Matthew 15:4

“Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 19:19
For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother'; and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.'” Mark 7:10

"You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'" Mark 10:19

"You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.'" Luke 18:20

"Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise),” Ephesians 6:2

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

My Role: Part 5

2008-05-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

"...and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."
Titus 2:4-5

Right before this verse, the section identifies that the older women are supposed to be the ones who are training us young women. Ah, I'll just include it: "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good..."

What do we get from this verse? I should:

Love my husband
Love my children
Be self controlled
Pure
Working at home
Kind
Submissive to my husband

Why? So God's word is seen in a good light.Here are some verses I felt went along with these aspects of being a wife/mom, any others are welcome:

Love my husband

"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18

"For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called." Isaiah 54:5

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:3 *wink, wink*

"To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband" 1 Corinthians 7:10

"If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him." 1 Corinthians 7:13

"For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife..." 1 Corinthians 7:1

"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33

"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." Prov 10:12

"Whoever covers an offense seeks love..." Prov 17:9

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

My own thought: over and over God's love is described as steadfast

Love my children

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:18

"Whoever spares the rod hates his son,but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." Prov 13:24

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:37

"...but Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 - Says "fathers" in english, I wonder if the Greek is "parents" as spanish for parents is the plural for father "padres," either way, I think it applies

My own thoughts: To love my children I MUST NOT play favorites. See the story of, well, every sibling rivalry issue in the bible to see why not. No favorites!

Be self-controlled

"House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD." Prov 19:14

"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." Prov 25:28

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." Galatians 5:22-24

"...likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire..." 1 Timothy 2:9

"...for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age..." Titus 2:11-12

"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love." 2 Peter 5-7

I know there are more verses that apply to this idea, but can't figure out what to search for to find them. Some other words that apply to the idea of being self-controlled: disciplined, will/will power, abstain/abstinence, firm

Pure

"...the precepts of the LORD are right,rejoicing the heart;the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes" Psalm 19:8 - I can't be pure without His word.

"He who has clean hands and a pure heart,who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully." Psalm 24:4 - Don't follow false things, don't swear

"How can a young man keep his way pure?By guarding it according to your word." Psalm 119:9 - Again, God's word

"The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD,but gracious words are pure." Prov 15:26 - Speak graciously

"All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,but the LORD weighs the spirit." Prov 16:2 - Remember, it is all God's work, none are pure

"Even a child makes himself known by his acts,by whether his conduct is pure and upright." Prov 20:11 - What I DO reflects purity or not

He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend." Prov 22:11

Working at home

All of Proverbs 31

Kind

Kinda goes along with all the other words

Submissive to my husband

"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." Ephesians 5:24

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Colossians 3:18

"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives," 1 Peter 3:1

"For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands," 1 Peter 3:5

"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33 - And there it is. I can't just submit and say "Fine, have it your way," but God asks me to respect My Favorite in my submission. Thankfully, that isn't very difficult at all.

Wow. That took a few days to work through. But how rich is HaShem's word?! Why do we, excuse me, I ever doubt that He has an answer for all my so-called woes? He is awesome.

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Update: Not that it matters to anyone reading this, but I actually posted this on June 4th, not sure what blogger is thinking.

Potty Training Update

2008-05-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

Just a few days before we go diaper free (scary) and here is where we are: She's potty training herself.

We haven't changed a dirty diaper in a week, except when I didn't understand what she was asking me. And as of yesterday evening and today, Teeny Tiny is trying to figure out peeing. So we pretty much had a dry diaper today. She asked to go 3 - 4 times this morning, actually going once. We went before nap time and after, and she went both times. She is so amazing! Praise God that He gives them the ability to figure this out!

Now, how to teach a 1 1/2 year old to whisper? Anyone out there?

My Role: Part 4

2008-05-12T20:46:00.000-07:00

"He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments"
Psalm 78:5-7

The bold section of the above verse is the piece we were given to study. I personally don't like jumping into a verse mid thought as I've found it tends to leave something important out. You don't know what "them" is that the next generation might know unless you read the lines before that mention "testimony" and "law."

So, what is it I should be teaching my children so that even my great, great, great grandkids might have a chance to know God?

I should be telling Teeny Tiny and this new baby of God's testimonies, law and commandments. (I'll look at what these mean below)

Why? So all generations will know what God has done, did do and will do, all the while praying because of that knowledge they will want to follow His commandments to show their love and thanks.

No pressure! It does say "might know them." I wanted to see what Study Light's interlinear bible said "might" meant, but it doesn't say. So here is how I interpret that section: We are to teach our children the works, law and wonder of God so that they have a chance of understanding. If we don't, they have no chance. If we do, it doesn't guarantee they will know them on the level putting their hope in HaShem, but that is between them and God. This verse is telling me what I need to do.

I have a lot of work ahead of me. Working on me is one of them, because if I don't show them I put my hope in HaShem, how should they ever expect to do it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

testimony (v. 5) - edot - online definitions: an assertion offering firsthand authentication of a fact; something that serves as evidence
FFOZ definition: Revelation, or Torah as a witness of God and His righteousness
Translated as: admonitions, ordinance, testimonies, testimony, warnings, witness (in KJV and NAS from Study Light)

law (v. 5) - torah - instruction, connotes the whole will of God as imparted to man for his teaching (FFOZ)
Translated as: Law, custom, instruction, instructions, law, laws, ruling, teaching, teachings

commanded (v. 5) - tzavah - command form of mitzvah/commandment(s)
Translated as: yikes, too many to include here, check Study Light's Interlinear Bible

commandment (v. 7) - mitzvah - actions, deeds, the things we can do, described in detail by God
Translated as: command, commanded, commandment, commandments, commands, obligation, prescribed, precepts, terms, things, tradition, what (yes, NAS translates it once as "what"... good question)

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

My Role: Part 3

2008-05-10T08:55:00.000-07:00

"The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."
Proverbs 14:1

Sometimes the internet is such a bother. In the case of looking at this verse, it was both a bother and a joy for me. I find myself looking for what other people think before really thinking through a verse all the way. Not cool. But I did come across a blog post that was really helpful to me, so, thanks be to God that He used my laziness.

I think this translation, ESV, could make it look like the wise woman builds her house and then tears it down with folly. Others make it look like what I suspect it really means. A wise woman is one who builds her house. A foolish woman pulls it down on her head. 2 seperate women.

On the other hand, I think this is a moment to moment choice we women have too. Somedays we are wise, choosing the activities and attitudes that help us build and manage our homes and families. Other days, yeah, not so much. When doubt, laziness, dispare, frustration, feelings of "unfairness" are allowed to take over, I know I tend to start ripping pieces of the wall off. Not literally of course, but its like I am watching myself scream, yell, pout and cry while both enjoying my pitty party and wondering who in the heck that who is whining. My poor Favorite! And Teeny Tiny. And pets.

I have been struggling with this noticably since Teeny Tiny was born. I'm not sure I did enough managing before that for it to be an issue. That and God has really been doing some refining since she was born, of which I am glad and willing to take part in. Hurts though.

If you get a chance, read the post Tearing Down Our Homes at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home. She just posted it on the 29th of last month, and I've never even seen this site before, but it came up in my search on this verse and really helped me keep every thought captive yesterday. I feel like it is the first victory in a long battle. The first day I really chose to be content with how things went before spiraling down. Anyway, go read it!

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

My Role: Part 2

2008-05-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

I decided to to these next few verses 1 by 1 or so. This is a lot of thinking for me, and if anyone is reading this, I don't want it to be too overwhelming. Small chunks, small chunks.

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
Hebrews 12:11

Our job as moms, as parents, is to train these gifts from God in His ways. Life is going to have consequences, walking outside His path has consequenses, it is part of our job to help them learn this. This is not a fun part of parenting. And my kid isn't even 2 yet.

The pastor's wife emphasized that for kids you need to lay out what the expected behavior is, what happens when behavior fits what is "good" and to clearly let them know what the consequences are for behavior that doesn't fit the rules. This is what HaShem did, and we are to be like Him to our children. He stood there, told Israel who He was, who He would always be, what He expected of them, what He promised to do, and what they would face if they didn't hold up their end of the contract. He was very detailed.

In her words, our kids need to here this: "All of us sin, we will all willingly do things we are not supposed to. Even Mom and Dad." But to emphasize that "you always have a choice" she would do something I never thought of doing. In certain areas, especially areas where she or her husband struggled, the whole family would come up with an acceptable consequence. They would look at the action in question and ask "What could the consequence for this be?" For example, if someone screamed at someone else, the punishment would be so many push ups. The logic that follows is that when a child does something he shouldn't do, it makes it easier to turn the question on him "What would an appropriate consequence be for you in this situation?" You always have a choice. If I scream at you, I chose wrong. I pay the consequences too.

And then stand back and let them and face the consequences for their actions. No matter how much it hurts to watch, they deserve to be allowed to face all sin brings. Only then can they hope to show fruits of righteousness.

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

My Role: Part 1

2008-05-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

I went to a bible study for moms today, and was challenged by the topic. The pastor's wife leads the group, and really focused on what it means to be a mom, what God's word says we are to do, and then left us with questions to ask ourselves about ourselves and our children. It is nice to see that everyone struggles with the same things, and it gave us a few chances for people to ask specific questions about problems with their kids.

Here are the verses we went through or didn't get a chance to go through (we talk so much!)

"So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander." 1 Timothy 5:14

None of us are widows in the group, but that isn't the point. From this, God lets us know what He expects of us as wives: we are to bear children (as He wills), manage our household and give no occasion for slander. Food for thought.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward."
Psalm 127:3

Here we learn very basic info: children are both a gift and a reward from God.

It was pointed out that for some reason, He chooses not to bestow this particular reward on some women and some women who have this opportunity don't see it as a reward. In the world, many mom's see their children as a burden and a nuisance. This leads to strained relationships through generations, choosing not to have children at all to continue one's own hobbies, or the horrific choice of abortion. This can also be a moment to moment blindness I think, with all mom's forgetting that each and ever moment is a gift, no matter how incredibly frustrating. We have lost that knowledge in our...world I guess.

We also talked about the fact that the King of Kings chose these specific children, with their specific personalities, talents and weaknesses for His gift to us. And that our job is to raise them to serve Him. We are raising His children! Yikes!

"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens."
Proverbs 31:13-15

Some odd descriptions of a wonderful wife here. I'm not thinking He expects me to go out and knit my family clothes. Here we see that: she clothes her family, she feeds her family and anyone else in her household, she does it awfully early in the morning :0) and she does it willingly. Some translations say "gladly." Something to work on.

I was about to say that I enjoy doing most activities in my day, but I'm not sure that is true. There are quite a few things I avoid (dishes, floors) even though they really aren't that bad. And I get really irritated with some of the parenting duties, feeling like Teeny Tiny and my niece get in the way of me doing my job. Wow. That is not something I ever expected. The Prov 31 wife provides for her household. I think that means everyone who is in it. So lets work on getting things in the right perspective.

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
Proverbs 31:21

Scarlet is also translated as "double thickness," which I take to mean warm. We shouldn't worry about our families for they are provided for. I think this also stems from the above section. If we are doing what we should (provide clothes and food) we don't have to worry. If we sit around idly it won't happen and we will worry. I would like to say that I don't think this means we are to work outside the home necessarily, but to use the resources we have to ensure our family has what it needs. Whether it be buying clothes, learning to take care of the clothes we have, living frugally/within our means, or asking for help when we don't know how to do these things. Then any worry that rears its ugly head can be pushed back with the knowledge that we are doing what we are supposed to and God is taking care of our family.

She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

Ouch. This has been bothering me for the last few days, so it was a good reminder to listen to that. I am to do my job and not enjoy being idle. Reading blogs when laundry has been on the couch for days? I need to have My Favorite hide my computer again. I don't enjoy wasting time, but I like doing it. It leaves me feeling guilty and lazy, but that doesn't stop me.

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her"
Proverbs 31:28

The pastor's wife wanted to point out that while this is true, if we do our job, our family should be thankful, it isn't a promise. Our children might never thank us, most likely will not. Our husbands might never notice. But we are still to be the wives and mothers God calls us to be.

"...and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus."
2 Timothy 3:15

This is obviously showing what Timothy's family did for him. It isn't directly speaking to moms about what we are to do, but indirectly it is pretty clear. We should teach our children, from infancy, the Word of God. How else will they understand and choose His salvation? I don't do this well. I don't read the word to her and I don't pray with her.

Okay, I will have to make this a continued post. There are way more things we went through. But my mind needs to work through this and I need to get the laundry done.

Lets have a quick breakdown of what I need to be focusing on here:

Bear Children - working on that :0)
Manage household - always working to do that better
Give no occasion for slander - need to work on attitude, idleness and a wayward tongue
Children are a reward - remember Teeny Tiny is God's child who He chose for me to raise
Provide for my family - continue to plan meals, cook, have snacks, take care of clothes, help to make what He provides through My Favorite to be more then enough
Don't be afraid - rest in knowing He is providing and has provided
Idleness - hide computer
Being called blessed - do the work God has asked of me, but don't expect a reward while on earth
Scripture from childhood - figure out how to speak His word into Teeny Tiny's life at Teeny Tiny's level of understanding (or close to it)

Whew. Laundry sounds easier, why have I procrastinated?!

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Potty Training

2008-05-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

Arghhhhh! This parenting stuff is so hard to figure out.

A few months ago, I've lost track, Teen Tiny walked up to My Favorite and said "Poo Poo" with a grunt. Since then we have been potty training. Sort of.

Today I had to admit I'm not being very diligent about it. More so then before the above moment in time, but not enough to say it really isn't working because of her.

She has no fears of the toilet, pee, poop or being wet. Three of the 4 are good, and I am seriously thankful for them. 1 of the 4 is the issue.

I get tired of being in the bathroom all the time. So does she. I don't want it to turn into an argument or negative thing. Therefor, I don't always keep up with the training. Especially if we are going somewhere. Unless she asks.

I give her a penny for going pee and 2 pennies for going poo poo. Does she care? Most of the time no. Once her cousin got excited about it, Teeny Tiny started asking for them when she went. But sometimes she doesn't. Is it helping? I don't know. Hurting? I doubt it.

Here is my plan of attack:

Take at least 2 weeks off
Get mattress pad
Research what to do about carseat
Sanitary wipes for diaper bag, in case we are out and have an accident
Start, 24-7, no diapers (night time? nap time?)
Stay home unless I have to go somewhere
Every 15 minutes, 20 if she goes
5 min or under on timer while sitting
She gets off toilet as soon as she goes
Continue penny reward and/or
Try M&M reward
Go right when she wakes up, right before goes to sleep
Pack suitcase with clothes (for her and me)
Know where the bathroom is everywhere I go

After setting this as the plan, I put Teeny Tiny down for a nap. 15 minutes later, still not asleep, she calls for me. And tells me her feet are "icky." I think she is trying to get up :0) Then she says "pee pee." Oh. So, off to the potty we go. And so does she, right away.

ARRGGHHH!

Too Blessed

2008-04-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

I saw this on Keep the Way, a blog I just started reading this week, and it was encouraging. I'm not big on rhyming poems, but when they say what needs to be said, well, there you go!

"I'm too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed.
I refuse to be discouraged, to be sad or to cry.
I refuse to be down hearted and here's the reason why:
I have a God who is almighty; who is sovereign and supreme.
I have a God who loves me -- and I am on His team.
He is all wise and powerful; Jesus is His name.
Though everything else is changeable, My God remains the same.
I refuse to be beaten or defeated. My eyes are on my God.
He has promised to be with me, as through this life I trod.
I am looking past my circumstances, to heaven's throne above.
My prayers have reached the heart of God and I am resting in His love.
I give thanks to Him in everything.
My eyes are on His face.
The battle is His; the victory is mine; He will help me win the race.
I repeat! I'm too blessed to be stressed!"
(Author unknown)

Books about babies

2008-04-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

We've been reading books to Teeny Tiny about babies. We had a couple recommendations from the VBAC class we went to, and then I came across one at the library.

Hello Baby, by Lizzy Rockwell is a nice one. About an older brother helping get ready for the new baby. It talks about the baby inside, how it eats, how it kicks, how it grows. The only thing I didn't love was that it says that the Dr. is the one that helps the baby be born. From my perspective, the mom does most of the work! But it was written with a specific Dr in mind, so that is kinda neat. It talks about breastfeeding too, instead of bottle feeding, which I liked since that is what we do.

I used to be the Baby, by Robin Ballard is much shorter, more Teeny Tiny's attention span. Again it is about a big brother learning what a little brother does/needs. It has a picture of doing the wrong thing (feeding jam toast when baby is hungry) and the words and 2nd picture show the big brother helping out. [Teeny is currently flipping through this book mentioning Bebees and wings/swings, books, very cute]

Arthur's Baby got sent back to the library immediately. His sister DW has the worst attitude I have ever seen in a book character. Neither of us liked it. Kids might really be like that, but it isn't something I need to expose Teeny Tiny to outside of real life.

Babies Can't Eat Kimchee!, by Nancy Patz and Susan L. Roth, was one I accidentally found at the library. The pictures are beautiful, a colloge and ink drawing of sorts. It is about a big sister being slightly irritated that babies can't do anything. Then she talks about all the things she will teach her little sister when she grows up. Very cute.

Mama Do You Love Me?, by Barbara M Joosse is one we purchased. The only one that is a board book. It doesn't really deal with babies at all, but with the idea that a mama will love her kid no matter what. Even if they put stinky fish in her mucklucks or turn into a ferouscious bear. No matter how angry they are, mamas love their babies.

My only complaint really is that I can't find any that aren't written for siblings who are 4 years older then the coming baby. Teeny Tiny can't do most of the things the big kids in the books help with, nor have the comprehension of what it means to help out. Oh well, never know what they are soaking in!

I hate this

2008-04-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

Why do I struggle so much with emotions or wants that don't line up with what I know is right? I feel like I battle between feeling and knowing I shouldn't and wondering if I am enjoying throwing a pitty party. Neither are places I am proud to be in.

Most will say it is just pregnancy hormones. I know that plays a lot. Then there is just hormones of women, and I"m sure that is part too. But God made me with these hormones. So how am I supposed to manage them?!

I thought maybe if I wrote out my frustrations it would help me see how silly they are (which I know they are) and get over them. Worth a try.

I started the day finding that My Favorite had left before I woke up. And then I found myself sobbing in the kitchen. How rediculous! I am fully aware of how much I get to see him and how thoughtful he is and how little of both many other women have. Grow up!

Then my niece came as usual and was given food that Teeny Tiny wanted, but there wasn't any extra. Irritation. But life isn't fair, and really, she got over it faster then I did, and maybe she'll learn contentedness sooner then me. A door was left open and a cat got out, no apologies. So what, cat is fine.

Finally, and this is the worst really, my friend called to say she had her baby. So many emotions hit me at once I almost started crying right there on the phone. Yuck. I was so excited for her, she's been a bit anxious about this birth, and so read to be done with pregnancy and on to figuring out 2 kids. God answered every one of her prayers for this birth plus more and I've been praying for weeks. I was honored to be part of that, to see His work, and that she would call me so soon after having her.

And yet I find this voice or whatever at the back of all this trying to rob the joy of that. I would love to have such an experiance, a short labor at home with my husband and a midwife. I can't have that. Not the home part at least. I so desperatly want things to go my way that I am afraid to even ask because I feel so selfish. I know God has me in His hand, even more so this baby. I know He has this birth planned, and I've done everything I can to be prepared for it. But I'm scared. I'm scared I won't trust Him in the moment, scared to have this baby in the hospital, scared I'll have another section and struggle with this forever.

SO WHAT? Why can't I let it go? Why am i still sitting here with tears and snot running down my face? What part of me likes to feel miserable for no reason, because that is all I can figure is happening.

HaShem, forgive me. Forgive me for wanting things I can't have, for imagining that the things you may very well have planned aren't going to happen. Forgive me for being so uncontent that I'm focused on that and not on the amazing work you did in my friend and her baby. I honestly praise you for that. The labor was shorter then she asked for, the pregnancy was shorter then its due date, she had no complications, the baby was facing the right way, the baby is perfectly fine. I praise you. Please help me not let Satan or my flesh or whatever it is to rob that joy. Help me to not like being sad, if that is what is going on. Please help me know that you are in control, not the doctors or nurses I will be with when my baby comes.

And I am going to stand in my unconfident confidence and ask you for the desires of my heart. I pray though, that you will give me the strength to love however this turns out. I don't want to doubt you, I don't want to be angry, I don't want to want. I just want to be thankful.

Please Lord, bring this baby into our arms before or on her due date. I'm scared to deal with the Dr.'s ideas of what is good and right. I pray that I will rely on your strength, and the strength of My Favorite and my doula to get through this labor. I pray this labor will go quickly with no damage to my little one or my body. I'm scared of dying and leaving my family, and I know I should want to be with you more. I'm scared of a rupture even though I know how rare it would be to happen. I'm scared of scaring in ways that will effect my husband's and my personal relationship, and you know how much pain i've already caused there. But I want to trust you. Above all else, help me trust you in the moment, each step of the way. At the heart of it, the part of me that knows you, wants this all to go your way, not mine. Help my desires be in line with your plan. Thank you that I can come to you and most of me know you understand my crazy emotions and struggles. Thank you.

Oh, and please continue to give My Favorite the strength to deal with my emotions. He is the best gift you have ever given me outside of your own Son. I desire to honor him in everything as I do you.

In hashem yeshua hamesiach. amen.

Shabbat...shalom still in the works

2008-04-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that people new to the Messianic way of life have a slight hang-up. After realizing so many things we have been taught as biblical are simply tradition, we are very wary of new traditions. Even if they are really old traditions that are new to us. I personally have this problem :0)

But I love the Shabbat traditions! I love the idea that out of God's gift of rest came a tradition of a weekly meal with family, honoring both God and family. In such a crazy, chaotic world we have here in the USA, I hear moms all over wanting or planning family nights. Here is one that was set in motion on the 7th day of the beginning of time.

But we haven't done much. We both want to, I get excited about it, I can see something different in My Favorite's eyes when we talk about it. Yet, we haven't even set aside Friday night, Erev Shabbat, very often.

The last 3 weeks or so that has been different.

We now have a kitchen table we can eat at. That helped a lot.

I have a real white table cloth for our Shabbat meal. It might be wrinkled, but I don't care!

When we have challah, I have a nicer cuttingboard to put it on and my mom gave me a white cover she had around that I can cover it with. It isn't a offical cover, and it took some beating already by me, but it actually means a lot seeing that she isn't even a believer.

We use our nice blue dishes that are not plastic.

We don't have candle sticks, and didn't have candles, but I substituted with blue tea cups turned over and put tea lights on top. My Favorite mentioned he likes our candle sticks. That makes a wife smile. We had to use a blow torch to light them the first night because we couldn't find matches (found in Passover cleaning). That also makes a wife smile.

We came across the champaign glasses my SIL gave us for our wedding during Passover cleaning too. They had been given to her by someone else and she passed them along to us. They aren't really our style, but they are very nice and I hesitated to get rid of them, as I do most things. Last week I realized they would be a fun addition to our Shabbat table.

We eat vegitarian meals at home. My Favorite had a great idea to get fish for Shabbat meal, to make it an even more special night. He even found a new local place to get fresh fish. Our frantically thrown together meal of halibut steaks was delicious last week.

My Favorite mentioned something fun to add to our table in the future when we have more kids. Our silverware came with 12 place settings, including 12 individual salt and pepper shakers and 12 name place holders. We have never know what to do with it, but he had a great idea. How fun will those be to kids to set out?! Now, hopefully our immediate family won't ever use all 12...

It is fun. I look forward to it, and watching our family traditions grow and change. Now I need to work on not stressing out right before my Favorite comes home. It is not nice to start shabbat with a weeping, angry, frazzled wife. That is not a nice gift to give him for working so hard all week. But we have a nice table setting! You have to start somewhere.

Erev Shabbat Shalom.

Chicken Pox Vaccination

2008-04-24T17:07:00.000-07:00

Both My Favorite and I are a little uncomfortable with the idea of immunizations. We both have all ours, and so far, Teeny Tiny has all hers. Except the Chicken Pox vaccination. I've wanted to do research on them all, but haven't. Now I am. Much to the irritation of our dear pediatrician :0)

Why? We have chosen to follow God's word very closely, that is part of being a Messianic believer. Everything, heart, soul, mind, strength is dedicated to HaShem and how He laid things out. From the first word of Genesis, to the last in Revelation. So our first concern is ingredients. What are in these vaccines? If we aren't eating Altoids because they have gelatin, why are we injecting our children with things before finding out what is in them?

Our second concern is basically the same, we are people who research things, and we are just taking other peoples policies and opinions on this matter. It just doesn't fit.

Then there is the general safety factor. We know things get approved by the FDA whether they are safe or not. That drug companies don't allow negative research to be produced about their products. This of course is something I probably can't research.

What is a parent to do?!

Questions to be answered, currently for Chickenpox vaccine:

What are the ingredients?
Can you get disease from vaccination?
If so, can others catch it?
Are there risks to getting the vaccination if there is a pregnant person in your household?

Research

From the Immunization Action Coalition:

Not much on ingredients. But it does mention people with allergies to GELATIN should not get this vaccine. Hmm, odds of the gelatin being Kosher?!
Ingredient to look into: antibiotic neomycin, site says people with allergy to this should not get vaccine
Can you get the disease from the vaccine? Yes "About 1%... develop a mild form of the disease, consisting of a limited rash, most often with only 5-6 blisters"
About 2% of children will still get chickenpox, but a milder, less blistery, quicker recovery version. Meaning the vaccine is not 100% effective. Nothing is.
Note of interest: When mentioning the potential risks of natural disease they only offer the thought of getting an infection with a flesh eating bacteria. They do not offer the statistical percentage of children getting this.

Kids Health

"If a pregnant woman has had chickenpox before the pregnancy, the baby will be protected from infection for the first few months of life, since the mother's immunity gets passed on to the baby through the placenta and breast milk." - I'm immune so shouldn't be effected by someone who has chickenpox.

CDC

"For susceptible persons, having a pregnant household member is not a contraindication to vaccination."
My translation: people who do not have immunity to chickenpox and live with someone who is pregnant should get the vaccination and not worry about the pregnant person or baby. If it was a contraindication, it would mean that getting the vaccine would or might have an effect on others and shouldn't be taken.

CDC (ingredients from their site, descriptions from my research)

Bovine Albumin or Serum - serum taken from the fetuses of cows used in the culturing of cells
Ethylenediamine-Tetraacetic Acid Sodium (EDTA) - molecule used to remove heavy metals and calcium from the human body. It is one way of treating heavy metal toxicity. Why is this in the vaccine?
Gelatin - possibly pork, one, and only one site said there is a gelatin free version
Monosodium L-Glutamate - MSG!
MRC-5 DNA and Cellular Protein - quoting sites directly, this one seems pretty HUGE from my perspective:

"The MRC-5 cell line is commonly utilized in vaccine development... Initiated in September 1966 by J. P. Jacobs, the cell line was derived from the human lung tissue of a 14-week-old male fetus aborted from a 27-year-old woman." Quoted site

"The culture medium is human embryonic lung cells (from an aborted foetus), embryonic guinea pig cell cultures, WI 38 – a different cell line from another aborted foetus, and another aborted fetus labelled MRC-5." condensed on this site from info from VARIVAX 1995 data sheet, Merck & Co., Inc. No 7779300. She might have the lung cells listed twice as MRC-5 is a lung cell. In reading another site, I think that all three times fetal cells are mentioned they are just different strains of the same cell line. I found an FDA paper that states this same thing, but more technically.

Neomycin - antibiotic made from a bacteria, as all antibiotics are I think. Some individuals have reaction or allergy to this apparently.
Potassium Chloride - basically a salt, although it is used for a lot of different things
Potassium Phosphate Monobasic - the monopotassium salt, KH2PO4; used as a buffering agent in pharmaceutical preparations.
Sodium Phosphate Monobasic - too technical to even figure out for me.
Sucrose - your basic table sugar
The vaccine contains no preservative. From FDA

Questions answered for Chickenpox vaccine:

What are the ingredients? The ones I am concerned with: Gelatin, MRC-5 cells, the use of guinea pig cells in culturing the disease cells
Can you get disease from vaccination? Yes
If so, can others catch it? I think the answer is yes
Are there risks to getting the vaccination if there is a pregnant person in your household? As long as the pregnant person is not a susceptible person no risks (look at me using big words!), meaning as long as the person is already immune to chickenpox, they say there are no risks to pregnant mom or baby.

Conclusion? We need to sit down with our pediatrician who is also our pastor and ask him some serious questions.

HaShem, please pave our way, making his heart ready for our questions, moving asside years of training and education, giving us the right words to be honorable to You and him, giving us all discernment. In HaShem Yeshua HaMeshiach, amen.

UPDATE: Found a quote from the physician with Merck who is supervising something to do with the varicella vaccine.

"There is no gelatin-free varicella or MMR vaccine in the USA since Merck is the exclusive distributor."

2 down

2008-04-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

So, while not necessarily in final form, I have both c-section and natural birth plans written! Yipee!

Home Education for 2 year old

2008-04-23T13:30:00.001-07:00

I suddenly found a ton of info on working with 2 year olds. Some costs money, some does not. One site (a for-sale product) mentioned that teaching and lesson planning is her spare time hobby. That kind of excited me. I need a hobby. I like the idea of planning. I have at least one if not 2 or 3 people in my life who have gone to school for lesson planning. I really do like to learn. And if I plan to home educate, well, I best be loving doing this!

But at the same time, do I want to spend all that time if someone else has already? Money and planning time vs. Money and less planning time. Hmm.

Here is some of the stuff I found so far (I will try to make the headings links, but the address will be at the end too because links don't work for me. Update: the 1st time I tried, they all worked!):

Activities in a Bag - A product/book on making activity bags. The idea sounds cool, $ not so sure about, www.activitybags.com

Before Five in a Row - Haven't looked at it yet, www.fiveinarow.com

Brightly Beaming Resources - A bunch of free curriculum/lesson plans. They have stuff for kids 3 mths to age 11. Fairly basic, but at this age, basic is what it is. Covers everything from letters to music to excersize. And bible reading! I have only looked at Brightly Beaming Baby, Toddler, Preparatory Curriculum, and Letter of the Week. So far, I like that it at the very least makes me more aware of the teaching moments (which is every moment) of the day. www.letteroftheweek.com

Brighter Vision - I know nothing, but I don't want to have to figure out which site I saw this as a suggestion. A monthly fee and package. www.brightervision.com

Hands on Homeschooling - I started to look at this. $80 for 2 year old curriculum, $45 for idea book where you have to make the plans. Could I do the same thing with the library and internet? www.handsonhomeschooling.com

Homeschool for Preschool - A site with tips and encouragment, www.geocities.com/heartland/forest/2468/index.html

Keep The Way - A personal blog of a mom homeschooling her preschoolers, just found it yesterday, keeptheway-christianacademy.blogspot.com

Kids Craft Weekly - An email newsletter that I love. Teeny Tiny is still too young to do most, but could be a great way of including crafts for a specific theme. www.kidscraftweekly.com

Perpetual Preschool - Not sure what this is at all but saw that they had Passover ideas, so worth looking at, www.perpetualpreschool.com.

Preschool Activities - Planning on making some activity bags with my SIL, www.redshift.com/~bonajo/preschool_activities.htm#Dolly