Proverbs 10:12

"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses"
Proverbs 10:12

This is what caught my eye today. Especially in light of the Newer Testament reading for last week:

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, "You shall not murder and whoever murders will be liable to judgment." But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You Fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire"
Matthew 5:21-22

There is a young family member who I really struggle to feel love towards. Not only do I tend not to feel love, which in of itself isn't a huge issue, because love is more then a feeling, but I tend to feel quite angry and annoyed at. It makes me really sad, because she is someone very dear to my little girl, and should be very dear to me and needs the love I should have that should cover over the irritations. But instead of feeling love, I have almost a physical reaction to the things she does to purposefully antagonize or test those around her. She's just a little girl! It is not even her job to know how to appropriately act, although I get the sense that she knows exactly what she is doing. And I don't know how to appropriately act in such situation.

How do I overlook it? How do I let love cover all offenses? How do I know the difference between a time to do something or say something, and when I am overreacting?

That is my prayer today. Currently, I am trying to emulate My Favorite as he purposefully picks her up and says he loves her every time they are together. I've just started, and I'm disappointed at how hard it is for me to do, but I will continue to do so. I try to hold onto that moment where we are close physically, and her grin and soft voice shows me that she knows I love her, because I really do, far down.

Also, in helping my little girl learn to react within this relationship, I pray that I don't pass on the feelings I have towards this other little girl. I pray that the things I use to help Teeny learn to love her shows a love I don't necessarily feel, and that no favoritism is shown either way.

Lord, please guide me in this situation. Please help me know how to apply your word to this relationship. Family is for the long haul and I don't want to damage what I have with this little girl any further then I have already. Please be my wisdom and guide, our protector and teach me how to love so I can teach my girls to love. In hashem yeshua hameshiach, amen.

Adoption

Ever since my first trip to Mexico in 2000, adoption has been a flicker in my heart. Is it for us? How can we not? Is it His will? Now, in 10 years, never? It has been coming up again lately, and I just want to lay this before you Lord. What does it mean? What do you want from us? I dearly love my babies, and it breaks my heart that there are little ones (or not so little ones) out there who do not have that love around them, or even worse, are living in the midst of hate. I look at how frustrated I get at my two joys and wonder how I could ever even give them enough of what they deserve, let alone others. Please guide my heart, my attitude, our finances, our goals to be ready for whatever you will call this family to. Help me weed out the junk in my daily life that doesn't matter and is in the way.

So spoiled

I am sitting in my bed. up too late, sobbing. I act so spoiled sometimes when I should act blessed.

My Favorite is still at work, and will be again tomorrow. So for all intents and purposes, I haven't seen him really since he left for work thursday morning, and won't unless he really gets Vetran's day off on Tuesday. And I dearly love being with him, not to mention needing him.

Then I read an article by a mom of 7 whose husband is in the Navy and is away. And I think, what a big whiny baby I am. A few days of 24/7 - a few hours here and there with a 2 year old and an infant and I feel like life is impossibly hard? Give me a break. Did I even try to spend time with God? Even on Shabbat? Not in a way that would satisfy me if I were God. Not as if we have a real relationship.

My prayer... well, lets just pray:

Oh Abba! Why do I stay so far away from you? Why do I cry and whine and have pitty parties? Why do I feel this heavyness over me that makes me feel like I am just out of reach of doing what you want me to with my day? Please give me a hunger for your word. Please grow my heart full of love for the role you have given me as Mama of these joys, the big joy and little joy. Please give me purposefullness with my time and my choices of activities. Prioritize my day, my to do list, make it what will matter to you every second and what will matter to my babies at the end of their life. How do I balance being a wife and being a mama and being your daughter and being a daughter and being an aunt and... Please be my strength and help me let you be that. I fear what that might mean, but I ask it anyway, because I know it is the only thing that matters. I praise you that you hear me, that you continue waiting for me to turn to you, that you continue leading me even when I don't spend time with you. You are the friend I always want and I thank you for that. May you be my biggest Joy.

Lies Young Women Believe...

This is a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The teen version of Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free. Both excellent books in my opinion.

This book deals directly and pointedly with issues that face young girls who call themselves Christians. It is not a "be true to yourself" or feel good book. It is very loving, I think, and had I been a Christian when I was a teenager, I would have wanted this book. It has helped me look at some of the lies I believe even now as an almost 30 year old wife and mama.

It is broken into 3 parts. Part 1 - The Landscape of Lies (what a lie is, who fell for it origionally, what the truth is). Part 2 - Lies Young Women Believe. And Part 3 - Overcoming Lies. The 2nd section covers some interesting lies about:

• God
• Satan
• Myself
• Guys
• Relationships
• My Faith
• Sin
• Media
• Future

Here are a few of the specific lies they cover that impressed me the most (that they would discuss, not that I necessarily fall for!): God is not enough; I've never been exposed to satanic activities; It's not really sex; It's okay to be one person at home and a different person with others, especially online; My youth pastor is my connection to God; and my fav "Having a career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling then being 'just' a wife and mom."

I strongly believe that all parents who have daughters under the age of 30 (really) should read this book to get a better understanding of what is at war with these generations. Especially those whose girls are now teenagers or will be soon. The online aspect of this generation is a whole new ballgame, and we are generations into feminism.

I strongly believe that any person who goes to a church where there are young women or girls who will become young women should read this book. Especially youth pastors and their wives (and yes, I think youth pastors should have wives before they act in such a role).

I wish strongly that all husbands of Christian wives would read this book and the one for "regular" women. You are our protectors, even if we don't know or accept that, and these really are the lies that go through our heads. Please pray for us!

All women should read the general book, all 30 and under should read both.

I could go on and on, quoting some of their hard hitting lines and all the points that hit home for me. But read it for yourself. Their goal is obvioiusly to turn women's hearts to God and the role He has for us, to turn the hearts of girl's to their families and the adults He has placed around them. To honor and glorify, bring peace and truth. And personal accountability. Not for the faint of heart.

Jonah 1:3

"But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the LORD. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went on board, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the LORD."

Jonah 1:3

(found this here, not recommending site, haven't read it)

Noticed "rose." Was Jonah just sitting around waiting for HaShem to tell him to do something?

What does Tarshish mean? Can't really find a good definition. Seems to be a town that they aren't sure of the location exactly. The jist of what I'm reading is that it was possibly the furthest Jonah could go in his day and age.

Where is it? Right up there on the map :0) In Spain or Turkey or India from what I'm reading.

Where was Jonah at the time? Oh, somewhere near Joppa and above Joppa because he went "down." In other words, who knows?

What does Joppa mean? Beauty and comeliness, also called Yafo or Jaffa. Thought to be one of the oldest ports. Was given to the tribe of Dan.

Where is it? Between Caesarea and Gaza, south of Tel Aviv

Did he really think he could flee the presence of the LORD? Would he have heard Psalms by then? He didn't have a copy sitting on his shelf, so maybe not.

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

Psalm 139:1-7

But also, genesis 4:16 says "Then Cain went away from the presence of the LORD." The above verse from Psalms seems to contradict that idea, that Cain could physically walk away from HaShem. I don't believe the bible contradicts itself, so there must be a different way to look at it. We obviously can't flee from Hashem, He is always watching over us, but it doesn't mean we can't turn our back on God's presence in our life. He might be everywhere, but we can and do ignore Him. So maybe it is not that Jonah thought he could get away from God Himself, but wanted to show that he was definitely NOT going to do what He asked.

I'll never know, but I wonder how much it cost to get on the ship. What did Jonah do that allowed him to have money to buy a fare?

I noticed it is all about going away, getting away, going down, getting away! Away! Away!

Meals: Congo Squares

Okay, these aren't a meal, but if you leave them out on the counter, they might end up being so!

(okay, I'm no photographer, but they taste better then they look)

Two days ago, I made Congo Squares under the watchful eye of my MIL. I learn so much better and work so much faster if I have someone I can ask questions of the whole time! This is a recipe that was lost for years and is recently been found. I asked her where it came from and she said her mother made for them growing up, but she doesn't know where it came from before that. Great Grandma M sometimes made them with dates, Oma said, which was horribly disappointing. Anyway, with chocolate chips, this is a very rich, irresistible dessert that is really easy. Easy to eat too, so again, don't leave them on the counter.

Congo Squares

Ingredients
2 3/4 c flour
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2/3 c shortening/butter
2 1/4 c brown sugar or 1 lb box
3 eggs
1 c nuts (opt)
1 12 oz pkg or 2 1/2 c. chocolate chips

Directions
Mix flour, baking powder and salt. Melt shortening. Add to brown sugar. Stir to mix. Allow to cool slightly. Add eggs one at a time, beating after each one. Add dry ingredients. Then add nuts and chips. Pour into greased 9x13 pan. Bake 350 degrees F for 25 minutes.

Results:
We made these in her microwave that is also an oven. Preheats really fast and is big enough for a 9x13 pan to rotate!

Taking them to Sukkot service tonight, so we shall see how they are received. UPDATE: The middle ones are DELICIOUS, but gooey, so we didn't take them all. Darn, we'll have to eat them ourselves. Of what we did take, there was only one left.

Jonah 1:2

Here are my notes on the next verse:

"Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me."
Jonah 1:2

Noticed "arise" (Pastor's wife mentioned verbs like this being something to notice :0)

What does Nineveh mean? Found this at studylight.org

Nineveh = "abode of Ninus" Definition: Capital of the ancient kingdom of Assyria; located on the east bank of the Tigris river, 550 miles (880 km) from its mouth and 250 miles (400 km) north of Babylon

Who is Ninus?

According to Wikipedia "he does not seem to represent any one personage known to modern history, and is more likely a conflation of several real and/or fictional figures of antiquity, as seen to the Greeks through the mists of time...He has sometimes been thought to be connected with the figure identified in the Torah as Nimrod the hunter", son of Cush (see Genesis 10:6-12). In some interpretations of the Hebrew text of Genesis 10, it is Nimrod who founded Nineveh, but this too is ambiguous: other translators render the same Torah verse as naming Ashur, son of Shem as the founder of Nineveh."

Where is Nineveh? Found it on this map and this map. Wow, Ninevah is quite a way from Joppa. Wonder how long it took Jonah to get there? It would help to know where the fish threw him up!

How big was it at the time? Well, it was the capital of Assiriya, so couldn't have been small.

Do we know what their evil was? Nineveh is mentioned 11 times outside the book of Jonah. Genesis 10:11, 12; 2 Kings 19:36, Isaiah 37:37, Nahum 1:1; 2:8; 3:7, Zephaniah 2:13, Matthew 12:41, Luke 11:30, 32. Nahum was a prophet to Nineveh, but a century later and not with the same results as Jonah. I gather, from what I've read, that being against God's Holy Nation, Israel, did not put them on His blessing side. I'm not sure what they were doing during Jonah's time, but Nahum shows them being very violent and enticing people (I'm assuming Israel) away as a prostitute would. Nahum 1:11 says "From you came one who plotted evil against the LORD..." 3:1 "...bloody city, all full of lies and plunder - no end to the prey!" 3:3 "...dead bodies without end..." So, I'm guessing their original sin was similar, although their heart purer as they repented after Jonah, but not after Nahum.

What does it mean for their evil to come up before Him? From the following verses, I deduce it simply means their ways are known to HaShem, they have made their evil ways known in the presence of the Lord. The verses:

"Vashti is never again to come before King Ahasuerus." Esther 1:19
"Let my cry come before you, O LORD" Psalms 119:169
"When you come to appear before me, who has required of you this trampling of my courts?" Isa 1:12

Of course, Proverbs 15:3 says "the eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good," so He always knows what we are doing. On one hand, Jonah 4:2 shows that HaShem is "a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and relenting from disaster." On the other hand, Nahum 1:3 reminds us that "the LORD is slow to anger and great in power, and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty." He is patient, but He is just and avenging and will not let evil prevail forever.

Meals: Beet Green Gratin

My Favorite found this recipe, I think, last year. We ate it so many times in a row we didn't like it anymore. But I thought we might give it a try again. It's all about grace isn't it? Even for those poor beet greens. This is Alton Brown's recipe, a family favorite (the show/chef, not necessarily the dish).

(before mixed or in pan)

Beet Green Gratin

Ingredients
1 tablespoon butter
12 ounces sliced mushrooms
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound beet greens, cleaned and picked
Kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper
4 egg yolks, beaten
1 cups ricotta
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup crumbled crackers (recommended: Ritz crackers)

Directions
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add the mushrooms and garlic and sweat. Add the beet greens and mix well. Remove pan from heat. Season with salt and pepper.
In a separate bowl, combine the egg yolks, ricotta, Parmesan cheese, and salt. Combine everything and put into a lightly oiled 9 by 11-inch baking dish. Top with the crumbled crackers and bake for 30 minutes covered. Uncover and bake for an additional 15 minutes.

I couldn't remember what it meant to sweat the veggies, so here is what I found:

Sweating means to cook vegetables in a fat without them turning brown. With high heat, vegetables began to carmalize and turn brown. This mean that the heat is releasing the sugars within the vegetables. The heat has to be rather high to do this. Sweating is done on a very low heat and does not cause the sugars to be released.

Step #1 Add oil or butter to a sauce pan. Add the vegtables.

Step #2 COVER WITH A LID. Turn on a very low heat and let the vegetables cook without turning brown. If you notice them browning, then lower the heat even more. They will cook completely through and release their flavors into whatever you are cooking. Onions and celery will become soft and translucent when done. Carrots will become soft.

Results:
Really this is a very easy recipe. I got it all done while Teeny and My Favorite were at the store. It does take a while to bake, but as long as you don't have my lack-of-time-organization issues, it is great. Teeny ate the mushrooms out of hers, until she accidentally got some beet greens... what a lemon face! I liked it, so grace wins again. Doesn't reheat pretty, but I ate two servings just now and num!

Improvements:

The recipe doesn't mention the stems, in or out. I would definitely advise o-u-t, they are really bitter. And I needed way more crackers to cover the dish then suggested.

Meals: Pot Roast

Like I mentioned in the previous post, we eat mostly vegetarian dishes. A year and a half after Teeny Tiny started eating solids, and we are having to rethink that conviction. Why? She hasn't eaten a dinner I have made EVER. Outside of pancakes or eggs, and the odd black bean and sesame spinach salad (huh? Yeah, I don't get it) I made once. That is, until last Shabbat.

(from veggiemealplans.com a really creative site)

I had some chard to use up. I don't like chard, but I wanted to give it another chance. But all the recipes I had were for side dishes, and I had Beet Green Gratin planned for dinner. Beet greens with a side of chard? Yuck.

(from foodblogga.blogspot.com, don't know anything about it)

My Favorite suggested I cook one of the roasts we had just recently received from his side of the family. They got a half a cow sometime last year, and were kind enough to share with us when we realized Teeny needed to eat something more then quesadillas.

So I made a roast. I had to chop off 3 corners of it to get it in the dutch oven I have (from my wonderful MIL), but I got it in, all by myself. Praise God for serated knives.

Here's the recipe, if it can be considered that:

The "Thank You Nor" Roast

Cook time: 3 hours

Ingredients
Roast
Water
Worcestershire sauce
Seasoning (I used Jonny's)
Veggies, cut up (We had potatoes and carrots)

Directions
Set oven on 350 degrees.Take roast out of freezer 3 hours and 5 minutes before you want dinner done. Cover bottom of dutch oven with 1 inch water (don't measure, just guess). Place roast in dutch oven, still frozen. If it doesn't fit, cut off some pieces and throw them in too. Watch out for bones. Douse roast with Worcestershire sauce (pronounced worst-eh-shire around here) to keep the seasoning on. Add as much seasoning as you'd like. Once oven is heated up, put the roast in and set timer for 2 hours.

Prep your veggies while you wait if you haven't already. (We used some very small potatoes, some which didn't get cut up they were small enough. Carrots were pretty small too, so those went straight in, skin and all) When 2 hours is up, pull dutch oven out, take lid off and dump veggies in. There will be a lot more water now because your roast was frozen. Place covered roast back in the oven and set timer for 1 hour more. Eat and enjoy. Save bones for The Pup.

Results:
Delicious! All of it, meat and veggies. The meat was moist and I thought it had enough seasoning. Veggies were done perfectly, the carrots were even sweet (more the farm's doing then ours). My MIL was over and she didn't spit it out. And yes, even Teeny Tiny ate it. Challah was higher on her list of things to love about dinner but, she ate!

I don't know how big the roast was, but it looked huge and fed 3 adults and one picky eater with plenty left over for another meal.

Improvements:
Can't think of any, it really worked well. The side dish of chard went in the garbage though. Yuck.

Meals: The Background Story

I don't have a lot of confidence in my cooking abilities. Part of that is I haven't done much. Before Teeny Tiny was born, My Favorite did all the cooking. When she was a year old, God blessed him with a new job, and I started my cooking career. At the same time, we also felt convicted to eat a vegetarian diet as often as possible (something we are still figuring out since Teeny Tiny is obviously a carnivore and dislikes "wapables" of any kind). So any previous cooking experience I had, which wasn't much, wasn't very helpful.

The other part is I have a fear of failure. I want it to work the right way, the first time, and for it to be something people (ie. my family) likes. And I'm slow. But I want to overcome this. I know learning is a process, with lots of trial and error, and I don't want to pass on my throw-in-the-towel, stomp-my-feet attitude to my girls when something goes slightly amiss.

So I thought maybe it would help to chronicle my trials and errors here, so I can improve and see that I'm improving. We shall see!

Look in the Hebrew

Lord, I thank You that You, the King of the universe, would offer me such connections and teachings that lay in Your word and eyes to see its deep richness.

Here is the verse I was reading today:

My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.
When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you.
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
to preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.
Proverbs 6:20-24

Here it is again, with the word "commandment" and "teaching" written, and marked in orange, as they are in Hebrew, "mitzvah" and "Torah" respectively. Also, I saw in the notes of my English Standard Version that the word "them" is actually "it" in Hebrew. (green explained later)

"My son, keep your father’s mitzvah,
and forsake not your mother’s torah.
Bind it on your heart always;
tie it around your neck.
When you walk, it will lead you;
when you lie down, it will watch over you;
and when you awake, it will talk with you.
For the mitzvah is a lamp and the torah a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
to preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress."
Proverbs 6:20-24

I love this! King Solomon (if this is his proverb) is telling his son, or HaShem is telling us, to hold tightly to His word. And anyone who is familiar with the Shema probably has noticed this before, but the green marks out the spots that show the author of this Proverb was probably quoting Deuteronomy 6:4-9. See below ("awake" in proverbs is sometimes translated "rise"):

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9

As a mama, this reminds me that if I teach my children Torah, God's word and ways, then His word will be with them always. As Yeshua is the living word, He will lead them, He will watch over them, and He will talk with them. Even when I can't. Even better then I can. What an awesome God we serve!

He is the Light of the world

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world." John 8:12

The Torah of the world

"For the mitzvah is a lamp and the torah a light." Proverbs 6:23

He is the Torah, the Word

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1

The Word is living...

"For the word of God is living and active." Hebrews 4:12

...so He is living and walking and guiding and teaching

Yom Kippur and His provision

The economy took another huge dive today. I wouldn't have known except my ever diligent husband pays attention to these things. I feel like I am doing well in trusting HaShem, vs. worrying. My brain is, however, trying to figure out if there is anything I can do right now, as well as imagine what the future brings. My friend and I came up with a stress-relieving plan that we agreed not to tell our husbands until things were REALLY bad. Hehehe, praise HaShem for friends!

Anyway, in looking for the meaning of Jonah's name, I came across this paragraph on a site for an English speaking Israeli radio show. I have not looked at the site at all, but this paragraph was a great reminder in light of the times:

This Yom Kippur, as we stand in synagogue in fasting and prayer for this next year, let us not look to presidents, friends or allies to protect us. Let us take our eyes away from the White House, the International Community, or the Knesset to save us. Instead, let us look UP. To the only ONE, the Master of the Universe, the only one who we can trust in, the only one who has, and can, save us.

May we gird ourselves with the knowledge and strength that G-d is there, if only we call upon Him, and may we not feel defeatism. May we gird ourselves with trust, not fear. Truth, not convenient lies. May we appoint G-d, the KING of all kings, over us. And may we walk in righteousness to do His will, bring justice to this world, and improve our ways on the personal and more general levels. from here

Jonah 1:1

The moms' group I attend at a local church (not Messianic) started going through the book of Jonah today. Which is a fun thing really, because today is Yom Kippur and Jonah is the traditional book read this day. HaShem even gave me the strength to bring that bit of knowledge up during the meeting. (I get sweaty-nervous to bring up Messianic things, or anything that my brain feels will be controversial. I had to pray for HaShem to provide an opening, and He did! As always! And they didn't throw me out!)

Anyway, the pastor's wife challenged us to go verse by verse and write out our observations. So here we go! Some of the questions below she brought up while explaining what she did when she went through it. This might get updated as I find the answers to my questions.

"Now the word of the LORD came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying..."
Jonah 1:1

How did the word come to Jonah? It came in "saying" form, so to me that implies some audible form. She wondered, so now do I, if this was the first time Jonah was given a word from HaShem?

The name of HaShem is, in the English, written as LORD. I know a bit about this, but good to note. This is capitalized because it is, in Hebrew, the actual name of God. This is the name of God the Jews chose never to say in order avoid useing His name in an unholy way. It is not made of the English letters YHWH, but the Hebrew letters yod, hei, vod and another hei. Go here to see what those letters can look like.

What does Jonah mean? All I can find right now is "dove" but I'm sure there is more depth to it.

Who is Amittai? In my very brief google search, I found nothing more then the two places Jonah is mentioned in scripture. Jonah 1:1 and 2 Kings 14:25.

We shall see how many verses I get through before the next meeting! I'd be willing to bet this is the only post I do on it :0) Let us pray it isn't so.

Note: When I took His open door moment to mention that this is the book traditionally read on Yom Kippur, someone immediately came back with the question, "Why?" I was thinking about that as I wrote this, and realized that I simply answered. I am not entirely sure what I said, and I can't remember even looking at her. Baruch HaShem for His provision of words!

Does anyone have any more insite? I love input and tolearate correction :0)

So dissapointing

I am so frustrated by this! Maybe if I write it out I won't struggle with it as much.

I love reading. I could do it all day and I can do it fast. I don't see words, but pictures in my mind. That is, until I get to scripture.
*

Suddenly, I find myself skipping over the scripture verse to get to the author's thoughts on it. Not good! What they say means nothing, but God's word - everything! (although the post used above is quite nice)

I have to physically force myself to read each word, and go back and start again if my mind's eye glasses over. And I love His word! And I don't know it nearly as well as I could if I had read all those passages instead of skipping them. ARrrgh!

* Thanks Tavita's Purse for the blog to take a screen shot of :0) I was reading this wonderful post when I finally got fed up with this struggle of mine.

No time!

I didn't start being a housewife, as in taking care of our home, until I had been married 2 years and had a 1 month old daughter. So I've had to learn a lot these last two years, and I constantly feel behind. Behind what I'm not sure, but behind something that is ahead of me and driving me crazy!

I am also very slow. It seems to take me longer then most to do even simple things. Part of it is what I grew up around, I think, and part of it is my day dream mindset. I find myself changing a diaper and I can't tell you how long I was standing there doing it.

Which all translates to me not getting much done. Or feeling like i'm not getting much done. So there are not a lot of posts here. But in the scheme of getting the things done HaShem has for me to do in a day, that might not be a bad thing!

Rosh HaShanah 2008

This was the first Rosh HaShanah, or Yom Teruah, that I tried to do something with Teeny Tiny and our little family. Nothing worked the way I hoped. Nothing ever does, so I'm not sure why I was so surprised. But there were some fun moments too, not to get too Eeyore about it.

The day before our Trumpet festival I set up our new learning poster (more later) with its new theme: Rosh Hashana! The letter of the week was R, the shape an apple, the color gold, the foreign word shofar. I had fun coloring the R and the apple gold, hehehe. The little pleasures in life. Anyway, Teeny Tiny thought it was fun enough. Shofar comes out sounding like "so-far" which is pretty darling.

As far as activities, we tried reading the two books I found our library had, but they were just a bit too old for her. Then I saw this cool idea to use an apple as a stamp for Rosh Hashana cards. Cool for someone older then 2. I had thought it would be fun to give to our home group family. She thought it was fun to dip the apple in paint and use it as a paint brush though, so really it was a hit, just not what I expected.I had hoped My Favorite would be able to take the day off as a sabbath, but having just been gone for 3 days the week before (1 for work) and leaving for a conference this coming week, that wasn't possible. So that left me looking at driving 1/2 hour by myself on little sleep with a 2 year old and a 7 week old. A bit daunting, but I so wanted to go! I hadn't ever been.

The day of, a Tuesday, I set my mind that not only did I want to go, I needed to take me and my oldest daughter. In case nothing else happened related to Rosh HaShanah, and because holding a holy convocation is part of keeping HaShem's festival. So we went, and it was a success. Without the help of almost everyone at the service, it would have been a disaster. What a wonderful group! But when they brought out the "so-fars" Teeny Tiny looked at me all excited and whispered "So-far! In my room!" (the poster had a pic of a shofar). Hey, we learned something! I totally didn't get to concentrate on the liturgy at all, but my little girl connected on some level. And I ate two plates full of food at Oneg, plus dessert. Nursing makes me HUNGRY!

I also had it in my head to make this apple cake that I'd run across. We weren't able to have the festival dinner as a family that I hoped, but Teeny and I did make the cake together. Which almost made us late to the house we had dinner at. But it turned out pretty good. We just finished it up for Shabbat breakfast this morning *grin*

Organized thoughts

We are going to be going through Proverbs 31 this week, so here is a quick rundown of what it spoke to me after reading it today:

Favorite verse:

"Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come."
Proverbs 31:25

She is organized, eager to work at what God has given her, which allows her to take care of not only her husband, children and workers, but also anyone in need. It allows her to rest in God's provision, knowing she has done her part of His plan, that she is a piece (not the whole) of His provision for their clothing, their food, their shelter, their future. "She laughs at the time to come" because she knows she has done everything required of her and that the rest is in God's hands.

This Pregnancy

This is my 2nd pregnancy, and God has really had me deal with some issues this time. Not sure why, except that as followers of Him, we sign up for the refining process, and every day is an opportunity for that.

I was really nasty, well still am, emotional wise this time. I have not enjoyed it. I don't always or ever know what to do with all the feelings that hit. It is very difficult to figure out when my reaction to something is hormonally enhanced. When I think "This hurts," would I normally be able to blow it off, or deal with it appropriately? And since peace, patience and kindness are things His disciples ought to have, how do I take control of how I am feeling whether or not I am emotionally sideswiped? Shouldn't matter. There is a way I should act.

So that is an issue I am still dealing with, and assume that I will always deal with to a point. But I am thankful for two things: One, that He has given me a desire to not be controlled by my feelings and to see that it isn't something I want; Two, that He has blessed me with a husband who is willing to help me when I can't figure out how to act and is willing to help me, patiently, learn this. HaShem, please give him Your strength.

The other issue is trust. I have seriously struggled with this from day one. At first, it was the health of the baby. So many women around me have lost their babies either right before we got pregnant, or during. I struggled so bad for a while there. The kind of struggle where Satan seems to have invaded every thought and you can't even bring yourself to pray. But God gave me the strength to ask for prayer, and 2 days before our ultrasound, His peace drove that ugly voice out. I am thankful that I knew He was in control and was at peace with that before seeing the ultrasound and the "proof" that brings.

I can't say I've been great in trusting my baby to Him. Just this morning I couldn't get her to move and was on the verge of really panicking. But a combination of a wonderful husband and having faced it a little at the beggining... oh and her moving, made it easier to come out of.

I am overdue. Since I am going for a VBAC, my Dr. has said since the beggining that she would only "allow" me 1 week past my due date. So I've been praying since the beggining that this little one would come before or on her due date. The closer it got, the more freaked out I got. One night, I finally said outloud that while I knew He was in control, what bothered me was that I wasn't trusting Him. I just wasn't. That wonderful husband just held me and said, "Then trust Him." Which normally would be fairly irritating, but this time that peace, that quiet feeling just invaded my thoughts and I felt like I might have the ability to hand over my fear to Him.

I've never felt that before. And as this morning shows, I'm still not there. But I did it in one moment, and that is a start. I have that knowledge to hang onto each time I start to doubt.

Oh, and while I am overdue, my Dr. is apparently going to give me till I am almost 2 weeks overdue. So at this moment, I can let go of the fear of how to handle what the medical field wants to do. I can simply wait for this baby. Now, I wouldn't mind her coming tonight... but I am truly thankful for that realease of pressure.

To the Awesome Creator of the Universe, who knit both this baby in my womb and my womb, I give my thanks. May the peace You have given me through these situations come to me more quickly each time doubt tries to steal my joy. Thank you for Your steadfast love, patience, and gift of my husband.

Thoughts on John

"And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen."
John 2:15

This is where Yeshua throws everyone out of the temple and the disciples remember that it is said "Zeal for your house will consume me." (see John 2:17 quoting Psalm 69:9) What caught my eye as I read it today was that His wrath and anger at the money changers and vendors wasn't an instant reaction. He had to go away and make a whip before coming back to drive them out. Being God, He must have already known they were there but still took the time to go in, see them, make the whip, and then drive them out. That is not how my anger works. Something more to work on!

"But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people 25and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man."
John 2:24-25

No ordinary man, or a man with an exceptional relationship with HaShem would be able to say "he knew all people." Only HaShem knows the heart of each and every one of us. Who is Yeshua? God! And Lord and Messiah. (or "Siah" as Teeny Tiny says)

Spiritual Warfare

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12

A friend of ours is always harping on needing to practice Spiritual Warfare. I have seen a lot of different ideas of what this means, and tend to be very wary of things titled with "spiritual." So I finally asked her what she meant. Prayer, fasting and, as Yeshua did, quoting HaShem's word at Satan when He tries to destroy us or those around us. Now that I can get behind! That, my friends, has power, the power of the King.

Which is a good reminder to continue to memorize those scriptures I was working on. I was reading Families Against Feminism's archives last night, and though I can't find it now, she mentioned building our children up with scripture. When you see them taking care of one another, quote scripture. Remind them that they are doing God's work. But if I don't have anything hidden away in my own heart, that becomes very difficult.

Of course, just getting the idea out is important, but I find that if I can't quote the scripture as closely as possible to it's English version, I stumble and feel inadequate and then don't say anything. Something more to work on.

But if I don't prepare myself for war, how can I pass the sword onto my children?

Update: I still haven't come across the post I mentioned above, but here is another one from Families Against Feminism that goes along with passing the sword.

My Time, My Servants

In the book, The Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free" the author says that "Years ago, [she] read that the average woman today has the equivalent of fifty full-time servants, in the form of modern, timesaving devices and equipment." Since reading that, every time I get overwhelmed with my to-do list, I think of that. (and I'd love to say it helps me have better perspective, but it is starting to.)

Lets look at my servants. I have someone to:

• Bring water in the house for cleaning, dishes, cooking, laundry, drinking - the plumbing system
• Tend my garden, chickens, make my butter and bread, milk my cows - grocery store and their suppliers
• Wash my clothes - washer and dryer
• Keep my food preserved, cold, dry - again, food suppliers, fridge, freezer, modern home
• Keep my family warm or cool - heating system, portable fans
• Stoke my oven - electric stove
  
• Tend to my transportation - car

I am sure there are more I'll need to add. I don't have to have animals, I don't have to can (but do), don't have to bake bread, milk cows, churn butter, make cheese, till a garden, protect produce, have an orchard, cut trees, stack wood, make candles, find oil for lamps, wait for the right weather to travel, make my own music, or clothes, or toys. I have everything I could ever want to learn at my fingertips, I can stay up as late as I'd like thanks to electricity. And yet, I complain about no time!

And I thought the Israelites were whiny. Shame on me.

Chukat - Numbers 19:1-22:1

"And they assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron. And the people quarreled with Moses and said, "Would that we had perished when our brothers perished before the LORD! Why have you brought the assembly of the LORD into this wilderness, that we should die here, both we and our cattle? And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is no place for grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, and there is no water to drink."' Numbers 19:2-5

This is one of the particularly whiny sections of Torah. There are many. And at first I always think, "Come on people! All those miracles and you think HaShem will let you die for lack of water?!" And then I think, oh yeah, I'd whine too. Too rainy, too hot, too cold, too boring....Why?! And I am a particularly whiny disciple of Yeshua. I don't like it, it doesn't fit His image at all.

Then comes the striking the rock bit:

"Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?" And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice..." Numbers 19:10-11

I could see myself doing this too. I'd like not to think of myself as an angry person, but man, when I am irritated, as I am sure Moses was at this point of hundreds of continually complaining people, I can throw some fits I am not proud of. My dog ducks and hides, poor thing. Ugly. So anyway, I can imagine the sudden wrath that filled Moses and that he reacted to so inappropriatly. Which means the consequences he paid for that moment just make me cringe. What have I missed out on, or will miss out on because of allowing my temper to control me instead of the other way around? Please forgive me Lord!

God Hears, God Answers

I am still working on memorizing verses to use against the lies Satan typically throws at me. Today I was looking at Isaiah 46:10, which is part of a verse. You know how much I love part of a verse! So I opened the whole chapter. God's word is so AWESOME!

The whole chapter is God asking Israel who they would like to compare Him to. The idols they make with their hands? Are they sure? Here is how He compares to them:

The images (idols) of their gods are carried on oxen (v. 1)
God carries His people from womb to their gray haired days (v. 4)
Their gods can't save the burden, going into captivity as the people do (v. 2)
God bears, carries and saves His burden (v. 4)
They hire men to make their gods (v. 6)
God is the one who made His people (v. 4)
Their idols cannot move from where they are placed (v. 7)
God promises His salvation will come to them, He will place it among them (v. 13)
Their idols cannot hear their cries (v. 7)
God hears and answers (chapter 46)

Isn't that amazing? The most amazing part to me is that the Israelites were calling out to these idols, who couldn't hear them and God heard them and God answered. His steadfast love endures forever, amen.

Flying fish

Found this lost in my drafts:

I wanted to try something else out of the Toddler Busy Book the other day, so planned on doing the Flying Fish on pg. 70. It turned out to be really nice here, and that is technically an inside activity. But I took it outside anyway.

The fish are made out of a simple strip of magazine with slits cut in them so they fit together. I wasn't really sure what they did, but it was actually neat. When you drop them, they spin to the ground. Teeny Tiny liked the idea of fish, but after dropping them a few times was more then done with the game.

I will try this again though. I'd like to try it inside, maybe when she is older/taller to see if that helps. And possibly with another kid around, I think that would make it more exciting. Another attempt though!

Being Purposeful: Activities

There are all these crafts and activities out there, and Teeny Tiny is JUST now getting to like some. Or, I’m just getting to actually using them age appropriately I guess.

Since I started “the routine” we have done the following:

Coloring: she just started liking this. Prefers pens. It is great for working on her colors which she has recently become an “expert” at. “Brounce” and “llelo” are my favorite.

Cutting/Gluing: We made a little book. Very rough, but she loved it. She needed lots of help with the cutting and gluing. Every skill starts somewhere.

Chalk: Sidewalk chalk used outside when it is nice enough. Today, tried to get her to color on rocks. Not there yet.

Fort: I took The Toddler’s Busy Book’s advice and made a tent out of 4 chairs and the fitted sheet on her bed when I took it off to wash it. Not a huge hit, but we played in it and read some books. A few moments of fun is fine by me, or at least I’m working on it being so :0) [The Toddler Busy Book by Trish Kuffner]

Magnets: A bag activity I recently made. She kinda likes it, or at least enjoyed putting the stuff back in the bag.

Sorting (sort of): I had a bunch of flat marbles from flowers My Favorite gave me a very long time ago. Put them in a cottage cheese container with some applesauce cups and voila! Something to play with for a few minutes anyway.

Pull Box: from The Toddlers Busy Book again (pg. 55). Just a plain box with string threaded through a hole to pull around. We took it outside and it has a few rocks and a bug-house in it.

Animal Shapes: I looked up animal shapes in google, freehanded a cat and teddy bear from that, and cut them out. Old style die cuts. Teeny and The Cousin enjoyed coloring on them. Or at least The Cousin did, Teeny was content with the paper I put under the animal to keep ink off the booster tray. Taken from Kids Craft Weekly’s article “No Fuss Craft Ideas.”

Songs: We've listened to Wee Sing Bible Songs from the library, and on YouTube found videos of "Slippery Fish" and "I am a Pizza" by Charlotte Diamond, and a random "Apples and Bananas." "Baa Baa Black Sheep" is a new favorite as well. Now she is singing some of these when she is on her own. No one but My Favorite and I can tell what she was saying, but it is adorable! Songs are great for in the car and potty training. I'm also looking for the real signs for some words, just to add action and learning all at the same time.

Being Purposeful: A Routine

Recently, I have been really disappointed with my feelings towards “being interrupted” during the day. I don’t want to be like that! I want my kids to come first on my to-do list. I find it difficult since I just started keeping house since Teeny was born. So I’m trying to organize better, to schedule better, to be purposeful with my time and I’m finding my internal feelings are more peaceful then irritated. Praise HaShem!

My first inspiration was a post titled “How to survive summer!” from Five…Under…Foot, a blog I came across in some random blog reading rabbit trail. In it, she gives her summer schedule, and I thought it was worth a try. Here is how I tweaked it for us (to be thrown out when baby comes I’m sure!):

Routine:



6:30 Mom up, shower, dress, read word, daily chores if possible

7:30/8:00 Teeny Tiny up, start morning routine

9:00 meet at kitchen table, scripture and prayer, and discuss day’s events, then free play if no errands

 (so far, I basically just make sure we are on track for the day)

10:00 Activity/play together

10:30 SNACK

11:00 free play 



12:00 lunch and daily chores

1:00 Nap (sometimes we don’t make it to 1:00)

2:00 SNACK (if she’s awake)

2:30 free play together

4:00 movie time, mom preps dinner, (COOKS if have evening activity)

5:00 De-clutter house, mom makes dinner, (EAT if have evening activity)

5:30 Dinner, Feed dog, (LEAVE if have evening activity)

6:00 KP (EVERYONE does this)



6:30 family time

8:00 prep for/go to bed

I have to be careful with this though. Although I feel much more purposeful with my time when I have a schedule, I am very apt to get irritated if things “mess up” my day. So I’ve got to have a balance here. So far, so good. Having the bold hours be the anchors as she mentioned helps me feel okay about everything else being crazy :0)

NEXT: Activities

Love...is it God?

NOTE: The verses I quote here are from the NIV because I didn't notice what Bible Gateway was using.

I grew up in the Christian Science Church. One of their favorite verses is "God is love." I can still see it painted on the sunday school wall. I couldn't remember if it was an actual verse, although it seems accurate. He is either love or not love, and I'd side with love...

But it is a section of HaShem's word:

"...God is love." 1 John 4:8b

Yeah, 8b. Here is the "rest of the story:"

"This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God... Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:2-3, 7-10

God is love, it is true. But that means HE defines love, not the world around us. His definition of love required a physical sacrifice in this world. Anyone who denies that Messiah actually came into a physical world to live, die then rise again as a sacrifice for our sin, does not know HaShem or the real meaning of love. No matter how much "love" they pour out into the world.

The big thing these days, and probably since centuries past, is to "love each other" to "tolerate." So it was nice that John also included this point in his letter: "They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. 1 John 4:5-6 The world can go ahead and define love however they want, but no amount of using scripture out of context will get anyone into heaven.

I think this next section is the "God is love" verse the CSC prefers, because "perfect love drives out fear" is another favorite:

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:16-18

What is it to "live in love" then? A few verses earlier in the passage:

"We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." 1 John 4:13-16

A person "lives in love" when, and only when he lives in God. Proof that a person "live[s] in God?" His love for his brother along with his acknowledgment of Yeshua's unique relationship to HaShem, as well as HaShem's literal sending of a physical Yeshua to literally die in atonement or payment for our sins. (in case you don't know, this physical world is not a belief of the CSC, nor is the diety of Messiah)

My conviction from this book: I don't act like HaShem has forgiven me.

I get irritated easily and I have been working/remembering to pray to figure out why, while also working on not showing that irritation whether I find "the reason" or not. I think, though, that at least a part of it is that I get irritated when I bring to mind the things a person did that irritated or hurt me before. Not a sign of forgiveness. I can't change them, but with HaShem, I can change myself. Argh.

Observation

Apparently Teeny is done with naps. Or at least close. I'm really struggling with what that means for my day, especially with a new one on the way. I know God doesn't give more then I can handle, it is just figuring out what of the billion things on my to-do list are things He really wants me to do. As it is, I barely get everything done in a day that is just basic. But His grace is sufficient, so my prayer is that my family can extend some of that grace too. Because I have no idea what I am doing.

After 2 hours of no napping today, I went in with some books. I thought we would read a verse or two of scripture, then some books and see what happened from there. We made it through 1 verse, barley, and 1/2 way through the first book. Then she started flipping the pages backword instead of forward. So I let her have the book. She played with it for a while, then got down and found a ball. She threw the ball on the bed, got up, threw it off, got off, danced in a circle, started all over again. She wasn't interested in me playing, but I suspected all play would end if I left...

Okay, I didn't finish writing down my observations. But HaShem gave me some insight yesterday that I am eager to try out. I was sitting at the park when He brought to my mind that my niece did this "I don't need a nap thing" for a while. Something we thought back then was my niece needed more to do, or needed to use more energy.

Day one at the park and Teeny was out like a light. Hmm, we've got some work to do for this little brain! Here's to trying.

Memorizing

I have almost finished the book "The Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free" by Nancy DeMoss. Very good, in the face of your favorite lies book. I highly recommend it, but only if you are willing to look at what God reveals to you as you do. Am I willing? Well, I'm trying to be so!

The last chapter goes through different verses to have tucked away to demolish the lies Satan often throws at us, that we often believe. I have 3 memorized so far, I even typed them out without looking :0)

"You are good and do good, teach me your statutes" Psalm 119:68

"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever" Psalm 136:1

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Messiah Yeshua (Christ Jesus) our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Sleep deprived

This is day number 2 of Teeny Tiny doing everything she can to keep herself up.

Yesterday, it was nap time and bedtime. She won with nap-time, because it simply got too late to bother. She was miserable by bedtime. So sad! She was crying so hard My Favorite finally, and kindly lay down next to her and held her still while rubbing her head.

Today, we are 1 1/2 hours into nap-time. She has no pants (she took those off beforehand), no socks (she also took those off and was playing), no stuffed animal, no blankets (she had two) and no pillow. I had to get the heater out of the garage because it is something like 57 degrees out in JUNE. With nothing to play with, she ought to go to sleep, right? Nope! There are the bars of the bed and the ever present feet. And as long as you roll from one end to the other, you can't fall asleep.

This is to document our fun experience to see how long it lasts and what we do about it. Right now we are just letting her stay there until the time she normally gets up. She looks so, so tired. I am thankful that today I am not getting that sick "things aren't going my way" feeling, I have much more peace. Nervous that this might take a long time? Yeah. Sad to see her all curled up on a empty mattress? So sad! But oh well!

Revelation of a wife

Being a wife is a lot more detailed then I ever thought. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE being My Favorite's wife. Love love love it. Love doesn't even come close, I can feel in my soul that this is what I was created for.

But sometimes the little things that make up that role get the better of me. By nature, or fall, I am lazy, whiny, given to listening to the lies in my head, and prefer often to be served rather than serve. Yucky. I praise HaShem that the desire of my heart as far as my job as wife/mama is growing more and more to be like His. My actions, they need some help. But my understanding and desire are driving me in another direction.

What I keep thinking these last couple days is that in all the classes I have taken and all the jobs I have had, one of my favorite things was to know what was expected of me and to fulfill, if not try to exceed, those job duties/objectives. And a conclusion I came to at my last job was I do like to be in charge of things, to have a voice, but I don't want or do well with all the responsibility. I like to be a helper. Hmm, does that sound familiar?!

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him... But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him... And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man." Genesis 2:18, 20, 22

How awesome is that! Why it took a lot of jobs and classes to get me to that conclusion when it is stated clearly in His word, only God knows. But what a joy to know that. Now I pray, Lord, that you would help me remember the love I have for the role you gave me and apply that joy to being a wife and mama, ever step of the way.

My Role Part 7

"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." Proverbs 29:15

I have seen this as true. No matter how you feel about spanking, very few people will say a kid without discipline is a wonderful person to be around.

Definition of reproof: an act or expression of criticism, rebuke

Leaving a kid to fend for him/herself, to figure out what is right and wrong, how to be polite, respectful, and to know that the world doesn't revolve around them, not a good idea. Easier in the moment sometimes, but in the long run, the whole world suffers for our laziness.

Spanking for everything with no reason given, not so good. "Because I said so," works for a moment in time, but not for learning. But a swat when appropriate and talking to your kids about what they are doing and why you want them to do something else, that brings wisdom.

Figuring out what each kid needs to learn how to obey: priceless. As in, I would pay anything to have someone tell me, but that isn't how HaShem designed it. Prayer? Oh, yeah, that probably would be good :0)

One thing I've learned over and over in my 21 months of motherhood is this: They get it eventually. So why don't I remember that in the moment? Why to I freak out like she is purposfully not obeying me? Hello?! She's not even 2! And that is where the fun begins. 3 is where it ends... oh, I mean, um. Yeah. Prayer.

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Still Potty Training

So, since we took that 2 week break, we haven't had to change a poopy anything except for a few times. Most of those were either a mistake on my part (not understanding) or like the other day when she had just gone, and suddenly had to go again. We didn't make it that time. It is moments like that when I am reminded how blessed I am to not be doing this parenting thing alone. Praise HaShem for My Favorite and his willingness to be a part of this!

Pee is a whole 'nother ball game though. Teeny Tiny could care less if she is wet. At church last Shabbat she didn't go in her diaper the whole time. But from then on, it didn't matter. I wonder if she reacts to diapers more then wet pants. Doesn't make sense, but, hmm.

Hehehe, if only you could see her face every time she goes on the potty. She is shocked! Not scared, but her head snaps up and her mouth makes an o. "Potty mama!" and then anyone else who is within a block radius.

My Role Part 6

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Colossians 3:20

This is obviously a reiteration of Exodus 20:12 (see below), honor your father and mother. But it includes an important aspect that is implied in original “IN EVERYTHING.” Not just in the things you feel like it, not just in the things they insist on, but everything. I have not done nor do I do this.

At first glance, this doesn’t seem like a verse for the role of a wife. It is directed at my children right? But of course, to teach God’s word to my children when I am at home or on the way, I need to do the same. Because I am the child of my parents. And they are still very actively a part of our lives.

Now, obeying/honoring my parents looks a little different now then it should have when I was not married. My God and My Favorite come first, and in that order. But if I don’t honor my parents around our kids, how are Teeny Tiny and Baby #2 supposed to know what it looks like?
Problem is, I don’t know what it looks like either. I know what it isn’t, and I have that down pat. But I am not sure exactly how to do the honoring. Here are a couple of reasons/excuses:

• My parents are not believers
• My parents drive me crazy
• My parents and I have some history that I really struggle with
• My parents, or being around them, stir up emotions for reasons I don’t know
• My parents drive me crazy

Mostly excuses. I do feel like in their presence I honor them, although that can always use some serious work. But once we pull out of the driveway, yeah, I am failing miserably at this. And it has bothered me since the day Teeny Tiny was born. And yet, I do nothing but whine and complain and judge.

The rest of the verses that connect with Colossians 3:20:

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

"'Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD is giving you.” Deuteronomy 5:16

“For God commanded, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.'” Matthew 15:4

“Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 19:19
For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother'; and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.'” Mark 7:10

"You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'" Mark 10:19

"You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.'" Luke 18:20

"Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise),” Ephesians 6:2

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

My Role: Part 5

"...and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."
Titus 2:4-5

Right before this verse, the section identifies that the older women are supposed to be the ones who are training us young women. Ah, I'll just include it: "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good..."

What do we get from this verse? I should:

• Love my husband
• Love my children
• Be self controlled
• Pure
• Working at home
• Kind
• Submissive to my husband

Why? So God's word is seen in a good light.Here are some verses I felt went along with these aspects of being a wife/mom, any others are welcome:

Love my husband

"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18

"For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called." Isaiah 54:5

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:3 *wink, wink*

"To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband" 1 Corinthians 7:10

"If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him." 1 Corinthians 7:13

"For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife..." 1 Corinthians 7:1

"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33

"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." Prov 10:12

"Whoever covers an offense seeks love..." Prov 17:9

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

My own thought: over and over God's love is described as steadfast

Love my children

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:18

"Whoever spares the rod hates his son,but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." Prov 13:24

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:37

"...but Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 - Says "fathers" in english, I wonder if the Greek is "parents" as spanish for parents is the plural for father "padres," either way, I think it applies

My own thoughts: To love my children I MUST NOT play favorites. See the story of, well, every sibling rivalry issue in the bible to see why not. No favorites!

Be self-controlled

"House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD." Prov 19:14

"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." Prov 25:28

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." Galatians 5:22-24

"...likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire..." 1 Timothy 2:9

"...for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age..." Titus 2:11-12

"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love." 2 Peter 5-7

I know there are more verses that apply to this idea, but can't figure out what to search for to find them. Some other words that apply to the idea of being self-controlled: disciplined, will/will power, abstain/abstinence, firm

Pure

"...the precepts of the LORD are right,rejoicing the heart;the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes" Psalm 19:8 - I can't be pure without His word.

"He who has clean hands and a pure heart,who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully." Psalm 24:4 - Don't follow false things, don't swear

"How can a young man keep his way pure?By guarding it according to your word." Psalm 119:9 - Again, God's word

"The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD,but gracious words are pure." Prov 15:26 - Speak graciously

"All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,but the LORD weighs the spirit." Prov 16:2 - Remember, it is all God's work, none are pure

"Even a child makes himself known by his acts,by whether his conduct is pure and upright." Prov 20:11 - What I DO reflects purity or not

He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend." Prov 22:11

Working at home

All of Proverbs 31

Kind

Kinda goes along with all the other words

Submissive to my husband

"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." Ephesians 5:24

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Colossians 3:18

"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives," 1 Peter 3:1

"For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands," 1 Peter 3:5

"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33 - And there it is. I can't just submit and say "Fine, have it your way," but God asks me to respect My Favorite in my submission. Thankfully, that isn't very difficult at all.

Wow. That took a few days to work through. But how rich is HaShem's word?! Why do we, excuse me, I ever doubt that He has an answer for all my so-called woes? He is awesome.

Rest of the "My Role" series:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Update: Not that it matters to anyone reading this, but I actually posted this on June 4th, not sure what blogger is thinking.